Your Fall Schedule and the Bible

The edges of the trees, they already whisper fall. A splash of color in a sea of green, promising new adventures, sights, sounds and smells. Some mornings we crave blankets for cuddling together on the couch as the nights dip cooler.

Is it time for that first pot of homemade chicken-noodle soup and fresh applesauce, the kids wondered this week. When do we visit the orchard to pick apples and take a hay ride?

Seasonal change is a gift from our loving Heavenly Father, who abounds in grace and love. He delights in our seasonal joy.

Along with the fun comes change for our children's and family's schedules, with school and activities commencing this week. As Christians, how do we decide what is good and holy, and what is worldly, as we fill up our calendars? How should kids and families be spending their time?

And, as we gather markers and crayons, sets of novels and math programs, tissue boxes and lined paper, binders and just the right scissors for little hands...what might be forgotten?




On that last day we'll be held accountable for how we spent our resources: time, money, talents

What is pure and faultless, in regards to our time, money, talents? 

It's easy to get caught up in facilitating the perfect future for our children. We wonder: what will help them get along with others, assert themselves appropriately, master new technologies, get in the best schools, be competitive in the workplace?

But do we also ask...what will make my child a better Christian soldier?

Are we rearing a capitalist, or a Christian? What works in the world doesn't always work for God.

Some ideas for pursuing the pure and faultless this fall:

1. Make time for prayer

Fall school preparation is not complete without our humbled hearts asking for God's blessing for our children...

...that they will be lights for Christ and not give in to the pressure to act tough and calloused. In our humanity we have a strong desire to belong. If there are no acceptable groups to belong to at school--many groups will bully others while in mass; teach your children about mob mentality--then children need an even stronger sense of belonging at home. We must have enough family time and bonding to prevent kids from filling that need in all the wrong places. Strong family ties lessen the need to belong to bad-news groups of kids. Remember even a nice child can become mean when in a group. Teach them to stand up for the bullied early on, or to get help from an adult. You might check out the book The Hundred Dresses by Eleanor Estes to introduce the dangers of bullying and teasing.



...that they will have strong work ethics and study habits.

...that they will be a friend to make a friend.

...that they won't keep secrets from Mom and Dad.

...that their friends, teachers, and schools will be safe. 

...that they will obey their parents in the Lord, even while away from home.

2. Keep Devotional/Discipling Time Sacred

If each child pursues a sport or activity in the same season, will you still have time for family dinners and family devotional time? Or even to pray together briefly once a day with Daddy involved, since he is the most influential in terms of children holding onto their faith?

Can you alternate the sports or activities so that only one child participates at a time, or so they'll do the same activity and share the same schedule?

Consider that the more your children are away from you, the more time you'll have to spend intentionally discipling them when they are with you. If you choose public or Christian school and then after-school activities, how many hours do the children have with parents each week? Is it enough time to really talk? Think about the time Jesus spent discipling the Twelve. He talked to them extensively...questioning, challenging, teaching. Much of it happened naturally as they dwelt together, but if dwelling together all day isn't possible, how can you make it intentional and unhurried?

3. Is there a better use of your money?

One thing to consider as you peruse the price lists for different activities is this: Can you still be a good steward of the financial resources God gave you, as you spend money on after-school activities? Can you do a full tithe and offer something to the poor as well? Many children are involved in expensive activities and we might feel left out if our children don't do them this season, but what does God say? Are we supposed to fit it with the world, or with Jesus?

4. Is there a better use of your time?

Jesus make it clear what we're to do: Mark 12:30-31 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”

Does your child still have time to do a personal prayer and Bible reading time, in addition to homework and after-school activities? Short of our unconditional love and the knowledge of God's gift of eternal life, there is one other thing they must leave our home with: solid personal devotional habits. Without this in place, they'll be a worldly, fleshly Christian, at best.



And what about loving others? Does your child still have time to call or write to the grandparents? To visit a nursing home to love on the residents there, maybe reading scripture or poetry, singing or playing an instrument they're learning, or baking something and having a tea time with them? Do they have time to write letters to your sponsored children, or to other children who need encouragement? How can they tangibly love on others this fall? God always puts people in our midst who need love. It's up to us to respond.

As your child chooses activities, think about how the talents or skills can bless others. Can they play a song on the piano to make someone smile, or on the clarinet? Can they learn to draw for the glory of God? The arts can help us express love for God, and reflect that love. 

A good question to ask is this: Can participating in this activity just bless me, or others as well? Can I use it to shine Jesus' light to the world in some way? What are the ultimate goals and can I meet these same goals while loving others, serving others?

A good message to highlight as we raise our children: It's not all about you. 

Calm Me, Lord

An appointment this morning with Beth's rheumatologist, four kids in tow, then later a trip to the pet store for supplies, four kids in tow, followed by a little one's nap in my arms in the easy chair (a wonderful prayer time for me), along with visits from Lexi...all together ending in Momma being seriously behind on chores and starting dinner.

Nothing frazzles me more than stuff on the floor, stuff on the counter, stuff on the dining-room table, laundry needing shuffling, kids asking can I do this or that, or have him or her over, and dinner? Not even started.

It's not uncommon for me to throw my hands up toward the heavens on such days and say to the  kids, "Can't you see I'm a little overwhelmed?!" 

I've learned to delegate and diffuse the time bomb inside of me,  by asking them to put away everything that's on the floor, and to fold whatever is their's from the pile, before they start asking for time-consuming activities or to have friends over to play.

Optimally scheduling errands helps prevent overload too (like not on an appointment day), but some errands come up suddenly. Such is life. I get behind. 

My task as a Christian mother? Let the Spirit calm me so I can be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to become angry. I believe if we ask for a Spirit filling--or whatever you want to call it--with a pure heart, wanting to live God's will, peace will be granted unto us.

A stash of scripture cards ready-made is just the medicine we need on these days, along with our prayers.

Try these?

Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit. (Zechariah 4:6)

Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him. (Psalm 34:8)

Be still, and know that I am God. (Psalm 46:10)


Cast your anxieties on him, for he cares for you. (1 Peter 5:7)


The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything. (Philippians 4:5-6)


In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. (John 16:33)

Just the fact that a disordered house bothers so many is testimony to this: Our minds were created for order. Still, we needn't fall apart in the chaos. 

~ Pray for peace

~ Delegate chores

~ Recite verses

Families should work together. It bonds, teaches, brings harmony.

Side Note:  Our new hamster is recovering from whatever mishap befell her. Suspecting a girl, Peter named her Rebecca or Becky. I predict a full recovery within a week. Last night she stood straight up and climbed the cage. We are still praying.

I gave thanks to God and looked into Peter's eyes. "Do you realize how miraculous her recovery is, Peter?" I don't think he did at first. Peter needs instances like this, in which God clearly and miraculously answered a prayer, to look back on in times of turmoil. 

We should all record these answers for ourselves and for future generations of our family to feast on, yes? What a gift that would be!

Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him. Psalm 34:8

A Hamster Teaches Life

Today I wonder, when life hands you a Plan B, how do you step up and shine anyway? How do you gracefully dance to another tune, though it wasn't the one you wanted?

Two months ago the water bottle attached to the hamster's cage leaked. Husband bought another and I recommended the children immediately change the cage.

"We will...right after we finish this game," they answered.

Jack, our hamster, at that time perfectly healthy, didn't occupy their minds as much as Lexi, their neighborhood friend.

Previously...Jack? Peter cuddled with him, gave thanks for him, loved him, showered him with attention. But then came Lexi, interesting, animated, fun. Poor Jack drifted into the background of Peter's heart.

The board game, finished, went back on the shelf, Jack forgotten. And my mind, occupied with the present care of children and home, went on to the next thing, Jack's cage forgotten.

At regular cage cleaning time two days later, the children discovered mold clinging to one of the cage toys. How long had it been there? How long had that water bottled leaked? How could the children fail to notice such mold, for surely it hadn't developed in two days time?



Not long after, Jack aged before our eyes, laboring to breathe, slowing his daily activities. His furry chest made heartwrenching motions as his breathing faltered.

Oh...how we mourned, husband and me, especially after research taught us that Jack probably suffered from a respiratory illness, possibly brought on by moldy bedding.

It hit us. The leaky water bottle! We hadn't caught it in time, and the boys hadn't listened to my warning to immediately change the cage, as they attached a new bottle.

We are the adults here, ultimately responsible for every pet brought home. We can train, admonish, but as the only adults, the outcome depends on God and our responsible supervision.

We failed.

A few days later, Jack took his last breaths, my husband holding and comforting him in the last moments. Peter just couldn't do it. Jack became part of our family in December 2010, gracing us with a lot of sweet, even funny, memories.

Though he seemed in mourning, Peter wanted a new hamster within twenty-four hours. He'd never liked Jack's color and he looked forward to picking out his very own hamster...not one chosen by his brother Paul, who subsequently decided hamsters weren't his thing.

But that Jack? He was the picture of gentleness, never biting, and Peter easily put the black color and rodenty face into perspective, declaring love within the first week Jack dwelled here. I tell you that hamster seemed to purr like a cat when handled, especially while sleepy. For our family he was the perfect pet.

Fast forward two months, an acceptable time to mourn Jack and learn our lessons. Wanting to extend the same grace our Lord extended to us, we agreed another hamster could share our home, so long as the care remained exemplary and voluntary on Peter's part.

A two-month's wait proved long and in his typical ADHD way, Peter obsessed for days, knowing his mourning sentence drew to a close soon. He searched Internet hamster photos, read up on care and caging, talked incessantly of the upcoming day.

When at exactly two months there were too many appointments to make a pet store stop 30 minutes away, he got ugly, following me around the house, pushing, in typical ADHD fashion. If you ever find yourself feeling unduly pushed by someone who can't seem to fixate their mind on anything but what they want, you may have an ADHD brain in your midst.

No, they don't mean to drive you into despair and frustration. Usually. Yes, they might feel guilty about your stress, though still not stopping. The impulse control to stop their obsessing is absent from their brains and even kids who are medicated only improve in hyperactivity, usually--not in impulse control. This self-control lack in the brain is the hardest thing to treat. There are advantages to this state of mind, just not interpersonal ones.

And the truth is, they're driven crazy as well by their desires, exhibiting stress signs and other physical symptoms, such as taking in too little food and water and sleeping poorly while their brain obsesses. It's a heartbreaking cycle--the more tired and stressed they are, they more their brain obsesses and the more you feel like you're trapped in a nightmare.

Last Sunday after church, with the neighbor kids going back to school and Peter needing a distraction to prevent him from bugging his siblings incessantly, Daddy and Peter ventured to the pet shop, bringing home an orangy brown hamster with a face not quite so rodenty and eyes nicer than all the others in the shop.

As hamster began settling in its new cage, moving the bedding around just so, Mommy and Daddy went about preparing for our beach trip. Our son was instructed not to pick up the hamster the first day. We already noticed it didn't exhibit Jack's gentleness. A bite on the hand was likely if we didn't give hamster a day or two to acclimate.



But this is Peter we're talking about, who unfortunately doesn't learn from his mistakes...namely, that obeying your parents in the Lord helps things go well for you.

He picked the new hamster up, bringing him onto the carpet for some Jack-style cuddling. I caught him, telling him to immediately put it back.

Twenty minutes later husband peaked at the little guy in the cage, right before we headed out to the beach, saying goodbye in an affectionate way, though he isn't especially fond of little furry things, after being bitten badly by a gerbil two years ago.

Noticing a funny gait, he brought the hamster out, putting him on the carpet to inspect his walk.

Immediately we noticed both back legs dragging around, though it moved at a quick pace and didn't appear to be in pain or notice the handicap. Having seen the hamster perfectly healthy in the store, husband fell to the carpet in grief and frustration, asking God how this could happen to us, scarcely an hour after purchase.

I shared in his moaning and disbelief.

Peter, also upset at the sight, told us he'd dropped hammy from a short height but it seemed fine when it scurried away. Apparently it nipped at Peter, shocking him and causing him to drop the hamster from a 15-inch height onto the carpet. Normally, a fall from a height like this does no damage. Hamsters crawl to the top of their cages and fall down all the time, and this hamster was not a baby...probably 3-6 months old with an adult body.

Peter mentioned he'd seen it go down backwards in the cage tube, and maybe the feet had gotten stuck?

Swearing the hamster appeared paraplegic, husband wondered sadly at God's will. And we were both frustrated at Peter's disobedience, offering no further grace should this hamster die. No more fragile pets.

Like so many things in our lives, Plan B stared us in the face with this hamster's injury. Hamsters can live in this state, apparently happy, unless they begin chewing their back limbs off from nerve pain. Antibiotics might become necessary for possible urinary tract infections and self-inflicted wound care.

Not what we all had in mind, when Peter ecstatically brought home a new furry love.

It might recover, just as humans sometimes do from paralysis. We're praying and God will decide.

And if Plan B remains? What then?

Peter is faced with a parenting reality much like my own. A situation he never would have chosen.

Having an ADHD child after an affected student in 1999 basically retired me from teaching? So not in my plan. That student was so difficult, my heart feared having another one like him.

I'm done with public-school teaching, I told my husband in 2001. I could never endure more of that stress.

And yet God gave me just that. A child for whom I have endless love, but one who makes my life a daily gospel. Sometimes I lay my life down and accept it in love. Other times I want to get in the car and drive 5000 miles away, alone.

This Plan B life I lead with Peter renders me a vastly imperfect parent.

I'd waited so long for marriage and children and I wanted to be a good parent. An exemplary one. By handicapping all of our nervous systems, driving them beyond their design most days, Peter's brain changes the quality of daily life here, through no fault of his own. It doesn't take long for guests to notice his differences and rarely does anyone stay more than a few hours, though Peter is loved by all. All would agree his heart is soft and golden.

Who better qualified than me, to guide Peter in how to love this imperfect hamster?  Right?

But I falter and fail in this job, apologizing often, asking Him for mercy daily.

How do I guide my son, then, on the road to "parenting" success? What bullet list of tips can I give?

Just this:

1. God
2. God
3. God
4  God

Lean on Him
Talk to Him
Ask Him
Let Him

Plan B? It was the right one in the first place. Right for God and his Glory.

The best plan we can have? Stay in the back seat.










Go forward in thankfulness, my son, with Him leading.

Let your heart soar in praise and worship of the Almighty Living God, your Father and Redeemer, not because the plan looks like what you wanted, but because the plan ends with Eternity. 

~ Practice obedience over and over.

~ Confess when you take a selfish detour.

~ Live a life poured out.

~ Set your gaze on Heaven.

~ Give thanks.

And when all else fails, just sit and cuddle with the little guy, watching the clouds sail by.

God photo credit

Multitude Monday, 8-27

Multitude Monday

Hebrews 12:28

Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe,

Dear Lord, thank you for these gifts:

~ That even in the midst of sorrow, there are blessings to count, like little girls in pigtails in the scorching heat at the country fair. And I give thanks for the eight consecutive years we've been to this fair--years that passed far too fast--at which I've been pregnant twice, held babies in a sling twice, watched three little ones take their first ride, and introduced four children to the wonder of cotton candy. And finally, watched an enthusiastic husband dine on fair food with all the joy of Templeton the rat, one of Wilbur's saviors.

  ~ That ten-year-old Peter allows me to comfort him. He loves the animals and the food, but the crowd? It makes him exceedingly anxious. He worries that one of the children will get lost. He holds their hands fiercely tight and makes sure everyone has a buddy. My heart aches for him in his anxiety, but I rejoice that I have prayer power and the ability to comfort him.

~ For pigs. Enough said. We love them!

~ For Paul's joy on the bumper cars...the first year he was tall enough.

~ For a little girl thrilled at her guaranteed win. We now have an inflatable dolphin loved by all, despite its pink color.

~ For the faces God put on all his animals. The faces intrigue me most.

~ Even those only a mother could love.

~ For spouses to cuddle next to, who comfort us in our sorrow and share our joys.

~ For the wonder of lizards.

~ For the quietness and gentleness of bunnies.

~ Kids who giggle at the lake, loving every second of the experience.

~ For a little girl finally gaining a pound or two. I had to buy her a 4T top and a matching bottom in size 18 months. She's tiny but getting her muscle tone and healthy fat back
.

~ For siblings to share the joys with. They teach us how to live in harmony with a spouse some day, and for that I'm forever grateful.

~ For a little girl who will finally bend her knees outside of the therapy gym. She is getting better, praise God. We pray that fall, winter, and early spring don't bring back the pain, weight loss, or muscle atrophy.

~ For the many grand cloud formations at yesterday's lake trip.

~ For the light and the One who created it and recreates it in us.

~ For the comfort of Bible verses. They speak love and strength and guidance into our frail hearts. What a gift to hide them in our hearts and be able to retrieve just the right one at the right time.

~ For a very sweet letter from our Divya from India.

Romans 15:4
For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.

2 Timothy 3:16

All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness,

Deuteronomy 29:29

The secret things belong to the LORD our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may follow all the words of this law.

2 Peter 1:20

Above all, you must understand that no prophecy of Scripture came about by the prophet's own interpretation.

What are you thankful for today, my friend?

Linking with Ann today and other thankful ladies. What a gift!

Mourn With Those Who Mourn: What Does It Mean?

When my babies died in my womb, when my husband lost his job, I walked around in a mourning-daze, unable to concentrate or sleep. I cracked eggs and absentmindedly put them down the sink instead of in bowls. I drove past my exit on the freeway and went to the store for a certain thing, only to come home without it. When I didn't have a duty to perform, I sat and stared at walls.

I couldn't smile or read and I prayed in words or groans, not sentences.

Last Thursday something emotionally devastating happened to someone whom I know very well. I'm in that mourning daze once again, though this time the tragedy isn't mine.

I asked myself 48 hours in, am I over identifying with this? Is that the problem? Am I failing to trust that God will redeem it and raise up the oppressed? Do I lack faith?

Certain scriptures came to me then, on the third day. Next, a modicum of peace arrived, not taking away the despair, but lessening it. This peace came quite suddenly, as though someone had prayed and God heard and he washed His spirit over me.

What does it mean to mourn with those who mourn? Simply to feel sad that the world is so broken, and to increase your pray for someone? To make a meal for someone or send a card? Maybe it depends on whether you're in their inner circle or not, but one thing I've learned is this:

We're not meant to push away these all-consuming feelings or simply "snap out of it". We need to walk through it, in solidarity with them.

Hebrews 13:3
Remember those in prison as if you were their fellow prisoners, and those who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering.

Job 30:25
Have I not wept for those in trouble? Has not my soul grieved for the poor?

Ecclesiastes 3:4

a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance

Job 2:11
When Job's three friends, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite, heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him.

One of my prayer partners and I are praying one specific prayer right now, and I invite you to join us. 

Financial devastation due to the slow economy, and now this emotional devastation, both loom large right now and things could easily get too dark for this person. There appears to be no hope, on any front. She already lives too solitary a life, with too much time alone. Please pray: That God will give Person A tangible evidence that he exists and he loves her.

Thank you, friends!

photo credit