Baked Beans to Die For

I'm bringing baked beans to a Memorial Day bash, so I went searching. Bless my soul, what do I find but a delicious recipe with a photo tutorial on the Pioneer Woman website. You won't be sorry, friends. Try it. You'll need to bake it 2 hours, so plan ahead. Otherwise, it's easy.

http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2009/08/the-best-baked-beans-ever/

The Folly of Pain Avoidance

 

Psalm 119:67-71

Before I was afflicted I went astray,

but now I obey your word.

You are good, and what you do is good;
teach me your decrees.

Though the arrogant have smeared me with lies,
I keep your precepts with all my heart.

Their hearts are callous and unfeeling,
but I delight in your law. 

It was good for me to be afflicted
so that I might learn your decrees.

My rebound headache situation worsened so I decided to go cold turkey and not take anything at all for my migraines for 30 days straight. Rebound headaches, also called medication-overuse-headaches (MOH), are the third leading cause of all headaches, though they're still poorly understood by most physicians. 

How do they start? Over-the-counter headache medicines (and prescription headache medicines) are not designed to be used more than twice a week. When a tension headache or migraine headache sufferer begins to use them more than twice weekly, the headaches come back (rebound) as the body develops a tolerance or addiction to the medicine. If the cycle continues--have headache reach for medicine--eventually the headaches occur daily, and sometimes more than once daily.

We tend to think of addiction as something that comes with serious prescription medicine, but the fact is even Tylenol can be a culprit, especially if it's paired with caffeine. A Tylenol/caffeine cocktail is what I've taken for 17 years for migraines. Otherwise, I am not a caffeine consumer; I avoid coffee, tea, and soda, and only get a tiny bit of caffeine in a handful of semisweet chocolate chips. Caffeine is a definite culprit for many headache sufferers. If you don't get your morning brew, do you get a headache? That is a rebound headache--your body pleading with you to give it what it is addicted to, in this case, caffeine.

I never sought prescription medicine because for the first years of rebound pain, I didn't know what was happening. Then later I either hoped to get pregnant, or was pregnant, or was long-term breastfeeding. 

Now that my last child has mostly weaned herself, I can seek something better, but I know it wouldn't help unless I break the rebound cycle first, since a prescription medicine will cause the same issue.

To cure a rebound pain cycle, go without medicine for 30 days straight. To avoid a rebound headache cycle, remember the 2-5 rule. You can take something for two days straight, but then don't take anything else for 5 full days. You can't cheat and take Tylenol for two days, and then take ibuprofen for the next five days. No, you have to go five full days without any medicine, no matter the pain level.

I knew living life with a raging migraine was going to be extremely difficult with four children around making noise, needing me, and sometimes squabbling. How would I keep up with meals and chores, I wondered? The ideal mother, in my mind, was not someone frequently lying down with ice on her head, pleading with everyone to be quieter and to stop shaking the bed. Light, glare, noise, and motion aggravate a migraine. Eventually, a migraine leads to nausea and vomiting and this can be scary for children. I wanted to avoid upsetting my children and husband, and I wanted to avoid severe pain.

When you go cold turkey in your approach, it can take between 2 days and 10 days to feel better, and some people will continue to have daily headaches for weeks or months. If you take prescription medicine, check with your doctor first, as some will cause seizures if stopped abruptly.

This has been and will continue to be very hard on my family and on me, but hopefully by one month we'll be through it. When the cycle is broken I will still get intermittent migraines, probably until after menopause, but I'll be a lot healthier and my family will have developed strategies to endure mom's migraines.

The huge lesson for me and for my family has been this: We can't avoid pain. 

Modern medicine has been such a blessing in coming up with vaccines and antibiotics, and with medicines and protocols for treating diseases like my daughter's juvenile rheumatoid arthritis. JRA used to be an awful life sentence for children, but now there's so much they can do.

Sometimes though, medicine can be a curse. It makes us forget something important about life: that it is painful. It's smart to judicially avoid some pain, but trying to avoid all of it is a serious character flaw.

Have a difficult marriage or a difficult child or relative? Have a difficult boss or coworker? Do you have chronic pain, either from headaches or from an injury or disease? Life will entail pain and it will take many different emotional and physical forms. Sometimes, we just have to endure it, rather than pop a pill, get a divorce, or change jobs.

Pain avoidance comes from what, mostly? Cowardice and lack of faith. And sometimes from shame; we don't want to be perceived as sickly or weak. We avoid the pain because we assume we won't be able to endure it. That God is not big enough to get us through it. 

But in truth, our pain leads us to the Lord more often then we'd otherwise go to him  And our Lord? Where does He lead us? To peace and joy of soul.

My 9-year-old Paul keeps saying he wants me to be happy, and why did God have to give me migraines? It's been a wonderful opportunity to teach that even though my face shows pain, not happiness, my soul is ever at peace, finding joy in my Lord and in my family.

Don't look to someone's outside, my son, and check for happiness. Happiness is fleeting, like your short turn on the trampoline. But look instead at the soul, and check for peace and joy. When you're looking for friends and later for a wife, don't be deceived by happiness, which can hide a whole lot. People addicted to happiness won't be along for the long haul; they don't have what it takes.

It's peace and joy of soul--having a heart that beats for God--that makes a person healthy...that makes marriages last...that allows cancer sufferers to thrive...that makes a grieving parent want to live again. 

It's peace and joy of soul that make a life rich. 

The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever. (Ps 23)

Finally Some Pictures

AWANA derby cars. These won first and second place in design.

 

 Husband worked overtime and bought us another camera. The other broke after Thanksgiving so I haven't posted pictures in several months. Catching up just a little today.

 

I fought a four-day migraine off and on and got behind on a lot of chores, so I'm refraining from regular posting until I catch up.

 

We also saw the ENT and found out that Beth's tonsils and adenoids both need to come out in July. She's at definite risk of sleep apnea because the tonsils are nearly a four, the maximum size. It will be so nice to see her breathing normally again, but this surgery can be a long recovery if the child refuses to drink a lot up front.  Miss Beth is a terrible patient--she just withdraws into herself from the trauma of the whole thing and refuses to drink. I will try slurpees and popsicles and a whole lot of prayer.

 

I was dismayed to learn that she has to go 20 days without any arthritis medicine to prevent a bleeding episode (ten days before and 10 days after surgery). I hate the thought of her well-controlled arthritis becoming a problem again. With God's grace though, this break from medicine could go well. It all depends on what God has for us, and on our choice to have an open hand to all he has for us, both pleasant and otherwise.

 

I had to practice that open-handedness while down with migraines.



Paul's jubilant jump when he found out he won first place in derby car design.

A salamander found on a recent nature field trip.

Rose-breasted grosbeak, a rare find for us.

hikers and nature seekers

You don't see California-mountain majestic beauty here in Ohio, but there's plenty of everyday beauty.

All are happy after the AWANA awards assembly.

 

It's plenty hot here this week, but this one of Beth was taken on an April nature hike.

My Mary also on an April hike.

Blessings to Give thanks for....

...the air conditioner wasn't broken afterall. Maybe it was the 7 loads of laundry I did on a hot day, that popped the breaker?

...quality library programs

...a fun church picnic

...a fun backyard barbecue at the AWANA leaders' house, at which my kids jumped their hearts out on the trampoline.

...the migraine subsided

...a good doctor for my Beth

...Beth, age 4 years, 5 months, self-weaning with nary a tear from either of us. It happened so naturally and beautifully and both of us were apparently ready. I'm sure there'll be a handful of nursings left as there's still a little milk to be had, but she remembers it less and less, sometimes going three days without asking. I give thanks to a glorious God for 12 years of nearly continuous nursing. I will look back on them as the best years of my life. I had my difficulties at first with each child, with Beth having the hardest time learning to nurse (one whole month!), but the rewards and blessings far outweigh those early, anxious, desperate tears. (4 years old is the average world-wide age for children to self-wean.)

 

The Perfect Dinner Table

I love advocating for the family dinner because I've experienced the blessing of this precious time, no matter the season of life. And I hate what the extra-curricular craze has done to the family. 

The problem is not the sports (or activities) themselves, but the anti-family organizations that make up the weekly schedules. As parents we need to learn to say no, since two children or more in sports at the same time is way too hectic for anyone, unless the children choose the same sport (activity) with the same schedule.

Limiting your children and yourself to a bare minimum of evening events (hopefully preserving 5-6  family dinners weekly) may seem hard, but when you decide that your goal is legacy parenting, not popular parenting, it becomes easier to set limits. 

Too much running around makes for a less healthy diet, a messier house, and grumpier families who aren't bonding.

Today I have some research to share.

~ Teenagers who eat with their families at least five times a week are more likely to get better grades in school and much less likely to have substance abuse problems.

~ Today only about half of American teenagers say they have regular family dinners, and 34% of those meals are fast food.

~ Teens having family dinners five or more times a week were 42 percent less likely to drink alcohol, 59 percent less likely to smoke cigarettes, and 66 percent less likely to try marijuana.

~ Frequent family dinners were associated with better school performance, with teens 40 percent more likely to get A's and B's.

~  Family dinners were the most important family events in helping children develop language skills.


Family Dinner Tips:

~ Have coloring books, Playdoh, or building toys nearby for the preschoolers.

~ Go through the book of Proverbs over and over in short nightly chunks. Small chunks are conducive to larger families with small children, and the repetition over time will help the lessons sink into the heart.

~ Don't force children to eat. These struggles ruin the atmosphere and give your children unhealthy power over you, which could work into eating disorders later. And a related tip: Don't be a short order cook, but do try to keep meals appetizing to youngsters. No, I don't mean a steady diet of pizza, hamburgers, hotdogs and macaroni. But can you put in some pleasers each week, like tacos and spaghetti? And if the main dish doesn't please, can you put in side dishes they particularly like?

~ Don't worry about being a gourmet cook or presenting something new all the time. But if you need inspiration and help with organization, you could use a menu service that includes weekly recipes and grocery lists for a nominal fee. Here are three choices:

~ Here is a menu mailer service from Saving Dinner.com 
~ Menus4 Moms 
~ MomsMenuPlanner.com

~ If you don't want to use a menu planner, but you aren't particularly organized either, you might try rotating the same 10 - 12 meals so that your grocery list remains pretty much the same, with the exception of seasonal produce. You won't forget important ingredients and you're more likely to have what you need when you need it.

Family Dinner Questions (to rotate):

~ When did you think about God today? What made you think of Him?

~ What are you thankful for today?

~ What favorite verse or quote did you learn or read?

~ Name one new thing you learned.

~ Name one amazing thing you noticed.

~ Who blessed you today and how?

~ Who did you bless today?

~ What made you especially happy today?

~ Did anything make you sad?

~ Did God bring someone to your mind who needs prayer?  

~ Did God bring something to your mind that you need to change about yourself?


"The Perfect Dinner Table", by Edgar Guest

A tablecloth that's slightly soiled
Where greasy little hands have toiled;
The napkins kept in silver rings,
And only ordinary things
From which to eat, a simple fare,
And just the wife and kiddies there,
And while I serve, the clatter glad
Of little girl and little lad
Who have so very much to say
About the happenings of the day.

Four big round eyes that dance with glee,
Forever flashing joys at me,
Two little tongues that race and run
To tell of troubles and of fun;
The mother with a patient smile
Who knows that she must wait awhile
Before she'll get a chance to say
What she's discovered through the day.
She steps aside for girl and lad
Who have so much to tell their dad.

Our manners may not be the best;
Perhaps our elbows often rest
Upon the table, and at times
That very worst of dinner crimes,
That very shameful act and rude
Of speaking ere you've downed your food,
Too frequently, I fear, is done,
So fast the little voices run.
Yet why should table manners stay
Those tongues that have so much to say?

At many a table I have been
Where wealth and luxury were seen,
And I have dined in halls of pride
Where all the guests were dignified;
But when it comes to pleasure rare
The perfect dinner table's where
No stranger's face is ever known:
The dinner hour we spend alone,
When little girl and little lad
Run riot telling things to dad.

A Tribute to Inspire Mothers Everywhere

Tuesday isn't typically a posting day for me, but I wanted to share a tribute letter 29-year-old Sarah Clarkson wrote to her mother, Sally Clarkson, for Mother's Day. This portrait of Sally reminds us to live bravely as mothers, to boldly embrace life's offerings and have as our constant companion, God's grace. God's grace (love, faithfulness, joy, covering) is our strength. It is the love, the smile, the affirming nod that allows us to go forward, chartering new and beautiful and awe-inspiring territory.

I link to Sarah's letter for another reason, too. Of all the online writing I encounter, I find Sarah's prose the most beautiful, on par with Ann Voskamp's but easier to read. They are equals. Words are just to communicate, true, but when a gifted person weaves them together exquisitely, reading them is just as beautiful an experience as sitting at the base of the most beautiful mountain in the world, the scent of the wildflowers bringing joy to our noses, our eyes watching the amazing bees buzz and pollinate before us, feeling the breeze on our bare arms, and squinting in the sun at God's expanse of a mountain and its gorgeous companion lake. The whole scene reminding us of His great love affair with us, The Church.  

When we search out beauty, we find God. There's no other explanation for the beauty offered in nature. And there's no other explanation for the beauty we see in some people. God gifts us in different ways so that we all reflect some aspect of His character.

When Ann and Sarah write, it is as though God is speaking the beauty, as much as He speaks it with wildflowers and lakes and mountains. There are many talented non-Christian poets and author's, but the most beautiful pieces I encounter are always from people who love God...who call Him their strength and their song.

And it's no wonder.