Saturday, October 27, 2012

Receiving Compliments Graciously...and More



How are you at receiving compliments about your home, your children, your hair? About anything, really? Do you find compliments embarrassing? I don't receive a lot of them, but they never fail to render me crimson and flustered.

I went to an event recently that completely changed my perspective on how we might receive compliments in a more God-honoring way.

Someone I know hosted an event in her home. I gave her a couple compliments and heard others giving them as well.

"What a beautiful staircase! I love the architectural detail."

"Oh, but it squeaks terribly."

"What a beautiful bay window!"

"Oh, but it's cold and drafty there."

"I love your house."

"Oh, thank you, but I'm still waiting on wallpaper and other updates."

Maybe we say such things to diminish ourselves in others' eyes? We don't like looking favored? We find the attention hard to handle?

I realized how inappropriate this is for us Christians. Who gave us our home? Who gave us the encouraging parents, education, talents, stability, determination, discipline, and worldly success, to be able to purchase it? Who gave us our hair, our children, our legs? From whom do all good things flow? And who redeems brokenness for his glory and for our benefit?

All that we have? It's a gift from our Father. Even brokenness can be gift.

God doesn't make mistakes. Your house needs paint? That doesn't diminish it as a gift to you. When we say such things, we're complaining and displaying ingratitude.

Instead, let's be thankful and give God the glory. 

"Thank you. The detail in that staircase is a gift from God. I give thanks for the talent that created it."

"Thank you. If there's anything good about my legs (my children, my hair), may God get the glory."

"Thank you. That bay window does bless me. I thank God for it, especially during my quiet time."

If you really do see everything as a gift from God, receiving compliments this way is genuine, not phony. And it accomplishes what you wanted in the first place. To take the attention off of you.

Not only can we give God the glory, but we can use our gifts for His glory, too. Think of it as thanks-living. Don't just say thanks....actually live your thankfulness.

Have a big house, or even a small one with lots of sitting space? Host Bible Studies and missionaries and church potlucks. Have your neighbors over for fellowship so you can learn their stories and needs and pray for them and love them accordingly.

Have a large vehicle? Ask your church who needs rides on Sunday morning.

Have a large library? Loan out books to neighborhood children, or have them over for a weekly story time.

Have a cabin in the woods? Use it for spiritual retreats and for gifts away for married couples.

If you have a skill or a talent, can you put a line or two in your church bulletin, offering 5 hours of dental work for free, or carpentry work, or plumbing work, or painting work, or for fixing computers? If you only have your bodily health to offer, can you do yard work for the elderly, with the help of your family?

With whatever we are given, we have a choice. Use it for Him or keep it for ourselves. Hold it up as an offering to Him, or let it feed our greed and self-centeredness.

What God meant for good, we sometimes use for evil. What we meant for evil, God uses for good. He's brilliant and powerful that way. 

With everything we have--mind, body, spirit, possessions--Let us resolve to work with Him and for Him, not against Him.

Matthew 12:30
“He who is not with Me is against Me, and he who does not gather with Me scatters abroad.”

Matthew 6:24 
“No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other.You cannot serve both God and mammon.”

John 12:26
“If anyone serves Me, let him follow Me; and where I am, there My servant will be also.If anyone serves Me, him My Father will honor.”

Psalm 119:133
“Direct my steps by Your word, and let no iniquity have dominion over me.”

Psalm 25:4
“Show me Your ways, O Lord; teach me Your paths. Lead me in Your truth and teach me, for You are the God of my salvation …”

Giving thanks today:

~ A beautiful piano donated to my Paul, which we plan to offer up and use for His glory.

~ Three beautiful Compassion children to love and nurture with our words and our resources.

~ A playroom for hosting children.

~ A dining room for hosting dinners.

~ A living room for reading and quiet reflection.

~ Everyone has a bed here with ample warmth.

~ We have warm clothes for the coming winter.

~ Our two vehicles run. More children want to come to AWANA with us but they are all too young for the front seat. I've begun to pray for a full-sized van, after seeing sorrow and jealousy in a child's eyes because we had no room in the van for him. Suddenly, this week, I've learned to pray Big. If it is for his glory, it is usually his will. 

I am praying for funds to send as family gifts to our Compassion children for Christmas. The deadline is October 31st, if we want the money to arrive in time. Please pray with me, for our Compassion children and for yours? Family gifts do much to change their circumstances. Sometimes a gift of $300 can mean a whole new life. A life of daily meals and clean water and the means to support themselves. Or a roof that doesn't leak, which is what happened for our Raphael earlier this year.

If you don't have your own Compassion children to love yet, click here and sponsor a child for $38 a month?

~  That with God, all things are possible.   

Prayer time: Dear Father, thank you for all you've given, both on the cross and in our daily lives. May we never be stingy with our gifts and possessions. Help us to let them go, offering them up for your glory and your Kingdom work. Work in us the gift of hospitality, no matter our ability to keep a perfect house. Instill in us graciousness and a spirit of thanks-living. Help us all to develop the discipline of writing a gratitude list, to keep our hearts and heads thankful and focused on You and your power and faithfulness.

In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

4 comments:

Unknown said...

This is a great post Christine. I have to admit I am pretty bad at receiving compliments. My husband has pointed this out to me for a while. He will tell me I look pretty when i am such a mess and I will say "What are you talking about"??? This really bothers him, he likes when I look like a mess:) On the flip side my husband is a talented surfer when someone compliments him he responds with a thank you God has blessed me with a gift. I used to think it was kind of arrogant but now I see he is being thankful for what God has given him. Thanks for the reminder to just say thank you I am indeed blessed!

Wendy said...

This is a wonderful post Christine.

I like what Tesha wrote in her comment too. Thank you for this wonderful insight re: compliments.

I hope you don't mind if I add a link to this page on my inspiration page.

Christine said...

Tesha, I do the same thing when my husband compliments me. I think a lot of men are sad when their wives don't receive such compliments. We need to start seeing our physical self not as a gift to us, but as a gift to our husbands and then rejoice when they find the gift pleasing.

Wendy, so good to hear from you. And yes, anytime. I appreciate both of you taking the time to comment.

kaysie said...

I am so bad at this too! My husband and I were just talking about this the other day. I want to view myself through the Lord's eyes, in my identity as a child of grace.

Thank you.