| John Frederick Lewis - Highland Hospitality, 1832 |
"I can't believe how nice he is ."
And Peter offered this, "It's so nice to have a Christian visitor, isn't it Mommy?"
We have non-Christians over frequently and pray for them and try to be Christ to them, and that is nice. But nothing compares to fellowship with another Believer. When you share a love for Christ there is a special joy, a special peace, a happy energy. The time goes by so fast and when the inevitable goodbyes come, they're bittersweet.
Satan knows that alone, Christians are more vulnerable to his attacks. The Bible encourages us to fellowship and build one another up. We are strength for one another always--especially in difficult times.
In order to follow scriptural mandates for hospitality, we can't have our own agendas. He must rule our hearts and lives. We can't fill our lives with worldly fluff and still hope to have the time and resources to offer hospitality.
Oh, I know hospitality isn't easy, especially for busy moms whose children make messes on the quarter hour, daily. On my first spiritual gifts inventory, I scored lowest on hospitality and mercy and helps. My highs were knowledge, discernment, teaching, and faith.
Unbeknownst to me, God set to work on my lows and thankfully, they're climbing higher. I don't think my scores would be the same if the same test were given to me now, eleven years later.
Glory to God!
Hebrews 10:24-25
And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.
1 Peter 4:9
Show hospitality to one another without grumbling.
Hebrews 3:13
But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness.
I enjoy every church fellowship, but I have my four young children to look after and conversations must be short or not at all. Little people aren't prone to sitting still long, letting Mommy and that nice lady have a lengthy conversation.
When Christians come to my home, however, the pressure of looking after the children subsides for the most part. The children are fully part of the fellowship and I love it.
I encourage you, invite Christians over.
Last night our old California friend, D, came over for four hours. He married a couple years before we moved here, but neither of us cared for the match, believing the woman wasn't a strong Christian. She had been married twice and had three kids, so we didn't have much hope for the marriage. Moreover, D suffers from severe Bipolar Disorder which wasn't well-controlled at the time, and he didn't have full-time work.
The woman wasn't altogether truthful about the past, blaming her divorces solely on her two ex-husbands. To me that indicates an unteachable heart. Every married person is a sinner and every marriage problem is the result of sin, so even if a divorce filing isn't mutual, both people must go to God separately and ask Him to search their heart. Secondly, they need to acknowledge and confess sin and ask for forgiveness.
And sometimes, they are called to live the rest of their lives alone, depending on the circumstances. This is a devastating thing and these people need our love and fellowship, not our condemnation.
During the Christmas season, hearing they moved to Ohio, I looked up their names, hoping to find an Ohio address. I wasn't surprised to see D listed alone, in an apartment, but I hoped for the best as I sent out a Christmas picture and letter. When a reply came in the form of a Christmas card, it listed only D.
On the phone, D told my husband the woman remarried for the fourth time six months after their 2009 divorce. I knew I'd heard enough.
If you know a single person especially, whatever age, invite them over for dinner, or for lunch after church? They need fellowship badly, before depression or despair have time to set in. Fellowship and love help fight those emotions off and keep a single person's eyes on God, not on themselves. God designed Christian families, I believe, to fulfill a single's need for fellowship, to a large extent.
Singles' groups are okay, but pairing off frequently occurs and the goal becomes to meet and marry someone, more than to fellowship or grow in Christ. Courtship is better than dating and when the whole group stays together, these groups are a more positive thing. Group fellowship prevents physical attraction from taking over, reducing emotional intelligence.
The Biblical version of emotional intelligence is spiritual discernment. Discernment is a spiritual gift--not something everyone readily accesses.
I wish we could have helped this couple think through their decision to marry, since my husband is pretty discerning as well, but I was at the end of a complicated pregnancy when they became engaged, confined to bedrest and trying to watch over my twenty-month-old toddler. Also, I worked part-time as a homeschooling facilitator, mostly from home. My husband split his work day as much as he could, working early morning and evening, when our toddler son was asleep. We had no family anywhere in the state.
We were overwhelmed and thought the pastor counseling them could take care of the situation. But, what does a pastor know compared to a person's friends? Our friends are placed in our lives for a reason and they know much more about the flavor of our lives and hearts, than do pastors conducting meetings in their offices.
It takes bravery to tell someone what they may not want to hear, but twice now my husband and I felt we failed some friends in this regard. Over time, our commitment to serve others with our lives has gotten stronger, and I pray we'll make better choices from now on.
One side thought here as relates to hospitality: When offering fellowship to singles, there is one caveat--the same one I'd advise in the workplace and everywhere else. Avoid being alone with a person of the opposite sex, if you are married. And keep phone conversations with them short. Emotional bonding (too much sharing) is often the beginning of adultery.
Be a true blessing to a single person by keeping the fellowship pure and lovely, and whole-family oriented. Of course, avoid tight or otherwise immodest clothing when opening your home, both to avoid wrong thoughts in a man, and to encourage single and married women to also dress modestly.
Sometimes, things don't go as planned with hospitality. The strangest thing happened last night.
For dinner I served shepherd's pie, fresh fruit, and salad. The conversation was lively and fun, then suddenly, our guest held his hand up to his mouth, as though in pain. He excused himself and went to the bathroom.
He was gone for what seemed like an eternity. We all stared at each other, wondering what on earth...? My insecurity about being a hostess took over and I feared it was the food. Was there a hair in the meal? Did my 4 year old put a small toy in the salad or something? Were the mashed potatoes in the shepherd's pie lumpy and he liked them smooth?
What was it? And how could I ever apologize enough?
I began to regret the whole hospitality thing, thinking I was the absolute worst at it. After all, we use jars for drinking glasses and our dishes don't match, neither our flatware. I don't own nice tablecloths or anything fancy or expensive.
The offerings are humble, and though I know this doesn't matter to God, it suddenly began to bother me while our guest sought relief of some kind in the bathroom.
What was it?
Thank the Lord, it had nothing to do with my hospitality.
He bit his tongue pretty badly and it bled a lot and was quite painful for an hour or so. But still, he stayed until 9:00 PM and had a nice time. We sent some chocolate cake and more dinner along home with him, since he couldn't finish due to the bleeding and pain.
When I heard he bit his tongue, I was so relieved I almost cried. Yes, I'm sympathetic that way.
I noticed that his bipolar disorder seemed well-controlled now, and later that night I thought about his twitching eyes, a tic he didn't previously have, and I wondered if the tongue and cheek biting (which he told my husband about) weren't a strange side effect of a new medicine, along with the tic? Bipolar can often occur along with Tourette's Syndrome and OCD, just like ADHD can. Perhaps he had the tics before in a different form...I don't know.
Chronic neurological disorders are heart-wrenching, to say the least. I know God placed D in our home as a guest on purpose. We live this reality on a daily basis and we understand it with our whole hearts. My Peter's ADHD is well-controlled now, but the OCD and the Tourette's tics are not, much to our dismay. The new medicine incidentally helped the ADHD, but was given to him for the OCD. Full therapeutic affect is supposed to occur by the third month.
Two months in, we pray for the best, and we're thankful on an hourly basis for the ADHD improvement.
All this to say, I suppose, that God has a perfect plan for our lives, including with whom we will fellowship?
My Lord is so faithful and so compassionate. He amazes me every day. He truly, truly loves us.
There are so many parts to His beautiful, divine puzzle. How thorough he's been in loving us, how wise in guiding us. How it behooves us to trust Him!
Giving Thanks Today:
Thank you, Lord, for...
~ a guest for Peter to share his birthday hamster with. (D happens to like hamsters, too.) No asthma from the hamster this time for Peter.
~ a Christian husband to share triumphs and hardships with.
~ the cousin who fixed our slow drains.
~ four amazing children to warm my heart and home.
~ wisdom and comfort from the Word.
~ online friends.
~ Peter's improved spelling.
~ George Washington Carver, a wonderful Christian man who inspired us greatly as part of our homeschool. He was a botanist and professor who helped black farmers in the post civil-war era learn to diversify and rotate their crops, leading to successful peanut crops, cotton crops, and sweet potato crops--even in poor native soil. He helped rebuild and strengthen and revolutionize the southern farm economy, and he kept his people from starving as they sought to make it on their own after slavery. He also invented peanut butter and other things derived from peanuts and sweet potatoes. His work and research helped farmers all over the world, but most of all, his heart for God was amazing. I can't even type about him without tears. Every child should read about him, especially every Christian child--role models are few in these insanely worldly days.
I enjoy every church fellowship, but I have my four young children to look after and conversations must be short or not at all. Little people aren't prone to sitting still long, letting Mommy and that nice lady have a lengthy conversation.
When Christians come to my home, however, the pressure of looking after the children subsides for the most part. The children are fully part of the fellowship and I love it.
I encourage you, invite Christians over.
Last night our old California friend, D, came over for four hours. He married a couple years before we moved here, but neither of us cared for the match, believing the woman wasn't a strong Christian. She had been married twice and had three kids, so we didn't have much hope for the marriage. Moreover, D suffers from severe Bipolar Disorder which wasn't well-controlled at the time, and he didn't have full-time work.
The woman wasn't altogether truthful about the past, blaming her divorces solely on her two ex-husbands. To me that indicates an unteachable heart. Every married person is a sinner and every marriage problem is the result of sin, so even if a divorce filing isn't mutual, both people must go to God separately and ask Him to search their heart. Secondly, they need to acknowledge and confess sin and ask for forgiveness.
And sometimes, they are called to live the rest of their lives alone, depending on the circumstances. This is a devastating thing and these people need our love and fellowship, not our condemnation.
During the Christmas season, hearing they moved to Ohio, I looked up their names, hoping to find an Ohio address. I wasn't surprised to see D listed alone, in an apartment, but I hoped for the best as I sent out a Christmas picture and letter. When a reply came in the form of a Christmas card, it listed only D.
On the phone, D told my husband the woman remarried for the fourth time six months after their 2009 divorce. I knew I'd heard enough.
If you know a single person especially, whatever age, invite them over for dinner, or for lunch after church? They need fellowship badly, before depression or despair have time to set in. Fellowship and love help fight those emotions off and keep a single person's eyes on God, not on themselves. God designed Christian families, I believe, to fulfill a single's need for fellowship, to a large extent.
Singles' groups are okay, but pairing off frequently occurs and the goal becomes to meet and marry someone, more than to fellowship or grow in Christ. Courtship is better than dating and when the whole group stays together, these groups are a more positive thing. Group fellowship prevents physical attraction from taking over, reducing emotional intelligence.
The Biblical version of emotional intelligence is spiritual discernment. Discernment is a spiritual gift--not something everyone readily accesses.
I wish we could have helped this couple think through their decision to marry, since my husband is pretty discerning as well, but I was at the end of a complicated pregnancy when they became engaged, confined to bedrest and trying to watch over my twenty-month-old toddler. Also, I worked part-time as a homeschooling facilitator, mostly from home. My husband split his work day as much as he could, working early morning and evening, when our toddler son was asleep. We had no family anywhere in the state.
We were overwhelmed and thought the pastor counseling them could take care of the situation. But, what does a pastor know compared to a person's friends? Our friends are placed in our lives for a reason and they know much more about the flavor of our lives and hearts, than do pastors conducting meetings in their offices.
It takes bravery to tell someone what they may not want to hear, but twice now my husband and I felt we failed some friends in this regard. Over time, our commitment to serve others with our lives has gotten stronger, and I pray we'll make better choices from now on.
One side thought here as relates to hospitality: When offering fellowship to singles, there is one caveat--the same one I'd advise in the workplace and everywhere else. Avoid being alone with a person of the opposite sex, if you are married. And keep phone conversations with them short. Emotional bonding (too much sharing) is often the beginning of adultery.
Be a true blessing to a single person by keeping the fellowship pure and lovely, and whole-family oriented. Of course, avoid tight or otherwise immodest clothing when opening your home, both to avoid wrong thoughts in a man, and to encourage single and married women to also dress modestly.
Sometimes, things don't go as planned with hospitality. The strangest thing happened last night.
For dinner I served shepherd's pie, fresh fruit, and salad. The conversation was lively and fun, then suddenly, our guest held his hand up to his mouth, as though in pain. He excused himself and went to the bathroom.
He was gone for what seemed like an eternity. We all stared at each other, wondering what on earth...? My insecurity about being a hostess took over and I feared it was the food. Was there a hair in the meal? Did my 4 year old put a small toy in the salad or something? Were the mashed potatoes in the shepherd's pie lumpy and he liked them smooth?
What was it? And how could I ever apologize enough?
I began to regret the whole hospitality thing, thinking I was the absolute worst at it. After all, we use jars for drinking glasses and our dishes don't match, neither our flatware. I don't own nice tablecloths or anything fancy or expensive.
The offerings are humble, and though I know this doesn't matter to God, it suddenly began to bother me while our guest sought relief of some kind in the bathroom.
What was it?
Thank the Lord, it had nothing to do with my hospitality.
He bit his tongue pretty badly and it bled a lot and was quite painful for an hour or so. But still, he stayed until 9:00 PM and had a nice time. We sent some chocolate cake and more dinner along home with him, since he couldn't finish due to the bleeding and pain.
When I heard he bit his tongue, I was so relieved I almost cried. Yes, I'm sympathetic that way.
I noticed that his bipolar disorder seemed well-controlled now, and later that night I thought about his twitching eyes, a tic he didn't previously have, and I wondered if the tongue and cheek biting (which he told my husband about) weren't a strange side effect of a new medicine, along with the tic? Bipolar can often occur along with Tourette's Syndrome and OCD, just like ADHD can. Perhaps he had the tics before in a different form...I don't know.
Chronic neurological disorders are heart-wrenching, to say the least. I know God placed D in our home as a guest on purpose. We live this reality on a daily basis and we understand it with our whole hearts. My Peter's ADHD is well-controlled now, but the OCD and the Tourette's tics are not, much to our dismay. The new medicine incidentally helped the ADHD, but was given to him for the OCD. Full therapeutic affect is supposed to occur by the third month.
Two months in, we pray for the best, and we're thankful on an hourly basis for the ADHD improvement.
All this to say, I suppose, that God has a perfect plan for our lives, including with whom we will fellowship?
My Lord is so faithful and so compassionate. He amazes me every day. He truly, truly loves us.
There are so many parts to His beautiful, divine puzzle. How thorough he's been in loving us, how wise in guiding us. How it behooves us to trust Him!
Giving Thanks Today:
Thank you, Lord, for...
~ a guest for Peter to share his birthday hamster with. (D happens to like hamsters, too.) No asthma from the hamster this time for Peter.
~ a Christian husband to share triumphs and hardships with.
~ the cousin who fixed our slow drains.
~ four amazing children to warm my heart and home.
~ wisdom and comfort from the Word.
~ online friends.
~ Peter's improved spelling.
~ George Washington Carver, a wonderful Christian man who inspired us greatly as part of our homeschool. He was a botanist and professor who helped black farmers in the post civil-war era learn to diversify and rotate their crops, leading to successful peanut crops, cotton crops, and sweet potato crops--even in poor native soil. He helped rebuild and strengthen and revolutionize the southern farm economy, and he kept his people from starving as they sought to make it on their own after slavery. He also invented peanut butter and other things derived from peanuts and sweet potatoes. His work and research helped farmers all over the world, but most of all, his heart for God was amazing. I can't even type about him without tears. Every child should read about him, especially every Christian child--role models are few in these insanely worldly days.
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1 comment:
Oh my goodness that must of been so stressful when he excused himself. LOL I would of cried with relief that it was not something I did:) So glad you had a good time and that you have such a thankful heart!
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