Dear Family and Friends,
I hope you enjoyed a merry Christmas with your loved ones.
Today, December 26th, I’m finally stealing time from children, chores, and
ministry to reflect on 2018.
For our own family and for some of our relatives, there was
loss and grief. My husband’s father passed away in January. He was 95 and
lived a life that was hard, grief-filled, but faithful to the God he met as a
young man. He suffered mental illness but despite that, I heard him quote a
line from Scripture he obviously took to heart. Philippians 4:11 “I have
learned to be content whatever the circumstances.” His wife died 44 years ago,
and their first child, a baby daughter, died at 8 months old. His mother and
sister suffered mental illness and he lost them to a mental institution a very long
time ago, so his was a lonely life. Though he was not a perfect father, he did
his best with the tools a broken world handed him; he improved on the previous
generation, securing for my husband and his sister more stability and faith, and even more
love, than he had in his own youth. In death he left behind my husband and our
children, my husband's sister and her son.
My aunt E, my dad’s sister, lost her husband, D, 76,
in September, after 58 years of marriage. My aunt Dorothy, my mom’s sister,
lost her husband, R, in later fall, at age 83, after 63 years of
marriage. Both men had large families and their lives touched many; both
suffered painful deaths from cancer and fought courageously, thinking of the
families they were leaving, and the legacies they wanted to bless them with.
Their long marriages, their faithfulness to their children and families spoke
volumes to the present and coming generations. Please pray for my aunts as they grieve and find strength for new routines, new inspirations. Incidentally,
they are good friends, having met in the early 90’s because their mothers were
roommates in the same nursing home. Their mothers died a couple days apart, and
their husbands two months apart--once again, they are a comfort to each other.
My husband and the kids took trips twice to Pennsylvania to see his
Aunt D and Uncle B and Cousin Shawna and her family, meeting up with his
sister also, and staying with good friends Jim and his wife in Allentown,
PA. A great time was had by all. Peter has struggled psychologically for most
of the year and I needed a break from that, so I stayed behind to deal with
home repairs and homeschooling paperwork. Peter started a new, safe medicine
last month which is for bipolar (though he may or may not have that). The med
has been a game changer and an answer to prayer. He still has bad days, just
fewer of them.
My house full of children is changing. All are in
adolescence and becoming their own people; my job is now about guiding while
staying out of God’s way, as he molds them into who He wants them to be, and as
He prepares them for the work he has for them. Our church’s high school youth
group is offering the teens a week-long mission trip to Costa Rica,
encompassing a few hours of morning construction work, followed by running a
daily Vacation Bible School for an inner-city church. The emphasis is on the
teens running it all, not merely helping the adults. It’s about learning to be
leaders, as well as expressing God’s love and mercy.
Imagine the flags that went off in our parental heads at the
mention of a Central American country, though Costa Rica is not one of the most
dangerous. The mission organization employs armed guards to protect the teens
while they work, but nevertheless as a mother I fought hard to come to yes
regarding this trip. Something Peter said finally decided it; while I was
Googling San Jose, Costa Rica for as much information as I could gather, he
commented, “Well, those kids have to live there, so it has to be safe enough
for us to visit.” Oh. I can’t tell you how those words hit me. Immediately, I
imagined another Christian mother, sitting in Costa Rica, praying. If God saw
fit for another mother’s children to live in those conditions, and for her to
pray with faith every day for His protection and blessing, I could certainly go
out of my comfort zone to share my children’s love and talents, and my prayers,
with that faithful mother and her children. I tell other people and my children
how big of a God we serve--how powerful and faithful he is--all the time. So
how could I say no to an opportunity for God to demonstrate that power in a
tangible way? God willing, they are both going.
The drug lords are winning in Central America, corrupting
the politicians, the police, crippling the countries, causing significant
migration. I know it’s only God’s power that can eclipse the evil. Addiction
and trafficking threaten to steal our worth. The message of both is that we are
worthless--God’s message is that we are priceless. Our Creator gives us our worth.
He, who knit us in the womb and knew us before we were born. He, who thought we
were so priceless and beautiful He was willing to give it all for us. I want my
children to be part of His message of love and worth. Some problems require a
spiritual lead first, not a political one. Without the one, the other will
fail.
There were changes in ministry this year. I helped in middle
school AWANA for three years, and while that wasn’t my area of giftedness, I
did learn to love those kids, after discovering you need to connect one on one.
In their mob, they’re less than pleasant, but the true person comes through
when you get them away from their peers.
After the AWANA year closed in May, I
asked the AWANA commander for younger kids, and ended up taking a co-director
position for the 3rd-5th grade AWANA club in Sept. It was a more ambitious
position than I really had time for (the other co-director is burned-out after
many decades of ministry), but I didn’t want another year in middle school. I
teach most weeks and send out weekly newsletters to parents and volunteers,
work individually with kids, and plan reviews. It’s a bit like a part-time job
and the books we use change every year for a three-year cycle. But it’s so
fulfilling! The kids look up at you with eager faces and hearts, hungry for the
teachings of God. Beth is in my club, Mary is in the middle school club,
Paul is a verse leader/occasional teacher in my club, and Peter is in his
third year as a leader in the preschool club. He loves it. Paul and I both
think the 3rd-5th kids are such a blessing. I hope we pour as much love into
them as they pour into us.
There have been changes with our Compassion International
children; we now have two--one young girl in Uganda and a teen boy in Columbia.
We used to have more, but a few moved into areas that Compassion doesn’t serve,
one moved out of the program because her family was doing better, and one,
sadly, (our first-ever Compassion child, Divya) became a victim of India’s new
leader, Modi, who cracked down on Christian ministry in India. In March 2017,
Compassion International was forced to pull out of India entirely after 48
years, closing 589 Child Development Centers serving 145,000 of the country’s
poorest children. India has since moved to number 11 on the Open Doors World
Watch List (annual list of top 50 countries where it’s most dangerous to follow
Jesus). In 2017 they were number 15 on the list, and in 2018 they moved to
number 11, so it’s very alarming.
It used to be that outside of North Korea--number
1 on the list for 18 years--that the worst areas for persecution and violence
against Christians, and particularly Christian women, were Islamist extremist
areas, but now Hindu/ethnic extremists, like Modi, are also a major problem.
Please pray for Divya and her family, who we and Compassion no longer have any
contact with. She has our personally-written letters, which all Compassion
children treat like gold because of the hope and love they contain. She
participated not only in vocational, health, and tutoring classes, but in Bible
studies before Compassion shut down. Her personal letters to us indicated a
relationship with God. Whatever they might do, they can’t take Him.
Now for the kids here at home. Mary is a soulful,
passionate child and music is her spiritual language. She loves a lot of
Christian music, but the Australian-American band For King and Country produces
great content that she adores--and they’re not too bad on the eyes to a
12-year-old girl, either. They sing, do lots of concerts (not near us this
year), write their own music, do music videos, and the song/book/movie
Priceless, about trafficked women. She hasn’t seen the movie due to
mature/emotional content, but when she’s older she will. It’s outstanding. She
likes to hear the stories behind every song they’ve written. Each story is
compelling. I hope her love for music will inspire her to manage her storm
phobia, which is still a very serious problem in her life. Overcoming fear is a
common theme in Christian music.
Mary also loves to
read--I can’t keep enough literature in the house for her! Missionary stories
are favorites, as well as adventure novels with inspiring, courageous
characters. She still reads a lot of historical literature as part of our
curriculum, too. She loves the power of story and I believe someday she’ll
harness the power of story to charge hearts and lives. I bought her Katie Davis Major's two books for Christmas, which are really impacting her (Kisses for Katie, and Daring to Hope).
She loves fishing, and
card and board games with her siblings. She loves her middle school church
class and gets along well with boys, since her two brothers were her first
companions. She usually has one girl she likes in each class. If you asked her
what she wants to do with her life, she’d probably say, “Go on adventures.” She
has prayed about becoming a missionary to China or another land. More recently
China is cracking down on the underground house-churches, which have been very
successful in growing a very large Christian population.
Paul is 15 and a hardworking student, blessed to have
many things come easily to him. He excels at writing--essays, narrative and
expository, and occasionally poetry, while still finding math second nature. He
wavers between career choices, sometimes wondering about journalism, or being a
pollster or statistician, or an engineer. He enjoys politics in a Carl Rove
way, but he doesn’t engage in an emotional way. He read a large volume of
articles and checked the stats every day of the midterm election season and
could tell you who was running in each toss-up state for what race and what
their chances were, and what scandals were brewing. He gauged the day to day
chances of a Senate or House takeover and would tell me all about it; I majored
in political science and, thankfully, although I never used the degree, I never
lost interest.
As a teacher does, I considered that a future president or other
major leader might be in my class, so I shared bits of wisdom to shape the
journey forward. Mainly, that politics shouldn’t be taken over by a we’re
right/they’re wrong dynamic, but be a civic practice aimed at achieving balance
in our republic, with the respective branches of government staying true to
their charters. I told my future voters to read every quote from candidates
before voting, looking for the one who serves God--not a faith borrowed in time
for the election, but a true faith, because a leader needs strength most of
all, and true strength doesn’t come from man, but from God. Man’s strength is
borrowed, begged, or stolen, and always withers with enough pressure, but God’s
strength is bestowed and then managed by God. And then, look for humility,
because with that comes gratitude, and together they’re the foundation for a
lot of other virtues. Also, that in the political process there is no room for
bitterness, because ultimately, God is sovereign, and he gives and takes away
power from man for purposes not known to us.
Paul still enjoys chess, gardening, baking, cooking, board
games and card games with his sisters, going to local college football and
basketball games with his dad and sometimes his brother, going to high school
youth group, playing Christmas Carols and a few other songs on the piano,
practicing basketball outside with a friend or his brother, but more often
making baskets by himself to blow off steam. Paul is the quickest to offer
help and sympathy when my day has been difficult; in short, he’s a giver, while
still being able to compartmentalize stress and get necessary things done. He
relies on the Lord for strength and hope.
Peter will be 17 in a couple weeks. He enjoys nature, many
types of Christian music, fishing, and chess. His favorite school subject is
history. In fact, he’s always detailing for me what he’s reading in history,
expressing amazement at something from the past. He says he was born in the
wrong era, except for the advancement of antibiotics and the abolishment of
slavery (though we still have trafficking, he knows). A gentler time, when
people honored God more, is his desire. His is a tender, very old soul.
Peter is unsure what he wants to be. Missionary work fits
his gifting, as demonstrated by his work with his friends and at church, and he
hasn’t given up on that idea, but his OCD obsessions obscure his real desires
and he hasn’t taken control of his illness. I can’t help him beyond praying for
him (we’ve done therapy). It’s harder for him to concentrate on his studies due
to obsessions, but he’s a capable student and could do well in college,
otherwise. Right now, he’s considering vocational work, which keeps his mind
clearer. Entering a vocational high school might be a good idea for him next
fall, so he can be employable right out of high school, while he matures and
hopefully finds the inspiration to take control of his illness. Your prayers
for him would be appreciated. Mental illness is heartbreaking and takes
acceptance of/responsibility for the burden first, and then courage for the way
forward.
Beth just turned 10 and had a rough year with her arthritis.
She was doing so well in February that her doctor gradually took away one
medicine at a time to see if she had grown out of her autoimmune disease (JIA).
In June, the disease came back worse than before. She’s on three
immunosuppressants right now. We’ll drop the prednisone in about five weeks,
but the Orencia and methotrexate she’ll be on indefinitely.
Beth, like Paul, works very hard in school. She’s
serious, but tenderhearted, always ready with a smile and hug. She loves
writing and is always working on a story. The sentences come together naturally
for her and she’s a good storyteller, even researching her settings online. She
dreams of seeing her name on the cover of a book someday. She loves reading as
well. It gets stressful around here, and Beth’s escape is to go outside,
enjoying fresh air and God’s creation, which is a reminder of His presence and
love. She loves studying different animals and learning about conservation, and
enjoys hiking with Daddy in the summer, while the other children fish.
My husband and I will reach 20 years of marriage next July. We got
married July 3, which means we almost always forget our anniversary. I will try
to dissuade my children from getting married near a national holiday! The days
have been long, but the years have passed by so quickly. I’m excited for my
kids because they’re excited about becoming adults, but there are tears, too,
when I remember all the little-kid times that have passed away. My husband, for his
part, just wants his wife back. He’s still at his same two jobs working 55-60
hours and he keeps very busy as a father, taking the children individually on
outings to speak love and value into their hearts. He’s a keeper! We are both
growing old and not finding it easy, but God’s loving message of our worth
helps, especially in our youth-obsessed culture. May God’s strength and
blessing be with you all in 2019. Happy New Year!
