Monday, May 17, 2010
recommended read
What a wonderful reminder post from the Owlhaven blog, entitled Homes of the Broken.
Friday, May 14, 2010
about that post
I wrote a post last night at the end of a strange sort of day. I was nearly in tears by dinner time, and everyone around me seemed seriously flawed, including myself. Our lives were in shambles--the temporary Census job was ending soon, there were ants in the dining room, weeds were taking over all our flower beds, both girls developed runny noses, and after a very long reprieve, my face was breaking out. The flood of negative, depressed feelings shocked me to the core.
Just a couple of days ago, I was full of smiles and strength. I was dancing to my Father, with all the joy of King David.
What was this about? I've been consistently in the Word and in prayer. Spiritual food abounds--so why this horrible spell? Why did I feel like my marriage needed serious revamping--starting with me needing to be more gentle and quiet?
In my desperate state, I wrote a post about marriage--my flawed marriage, with my flawed husband. The Internet went down in the middle of it. Then it came back up. I nursed my baby once, fell asleep for a while, then came back out to the computer and the Internet was down again. My husband came out to use the restroom and noticed me working late. I told him what happened, and asked him if he thought it meant I wasn't supposed to publish the post. "I doubt it means that, Honey. You're prone to over analyzing God's intentions."
So, I published it, after trying to add most of the content I had lost.
Many hours later, around lunch time, I was appalled at what I'd done. How dare I put such a post up on the Internet? Yikes! I was right all along. God was trying to dissuade me.
Next time I'll know the signs right away. If the Internet goes down, don't publish.
I deleted it in the afternoon. But it is still in feed readers. Drat.
I reflected again on why my emotions were in shambles.
Light bulb moment. I was experiencing this, for the first time in a couple years (a reprieve from pregnancy and nursing). It took me by surprise.
Yes, I need to be a better wife. But all is mostly good. After all, I'd killed the ants--even though my children objected to me killing one of God's creatures. My rule, I told them, is that if an ant enters my house, it's not protected.
After a while, my started speaking to me again. The ants were carpenter ants, which happen to be big and scary. They guessed it would be okay, since these ants can ruin roofs and walls and such.
I came across this series of posts on loving our husbands, and in the next week, I will get through all of them. I just need a Titus 2 influence in this area. There might be a woman at my church who can also help. She is the surrogate grandmother (for my kids) who helped get them to AWANA these last several weeks.
Just as suddenly as my emotions crashed, they regulated again tonight.
These roller-coaster emotions will affect me for six more years. And then?
I'll be considerably wrinkled, but I'll be calm.
Am I supposed to like that trade off, God?
Just a couple of days ago, I was full of smiles and strength. I was dancing to my Father, with all the joy of King David.
What was this about? I've been consistently in the Word and in prayer. Spiritual food abounds--so why this horrible spell? Why did I feel like my marriage needed serious revamping--starting with me needing to be more gentle and quiet?
In my desperate state, I wrote a post about marriage--my flawed marriage, with my flawed husband. The Internet went down in the middle of it. Then it came back up. I nursed my baby once, fell asleep for a while, then came back out to the computer and the Internet was down again. My husband came out to use the restroom and noticed me working late. I told him what happened, and asked him if he thought it meant I wasn't supposed to publish the post. "I doubt it means that, Honey. You're prone to over analyzing God's intentions."
So, I published it, after trying to add most of the content I had lost.
Many hours later, around lunch time, I was appalled at what I'd done. How dare I put such a post up on the Internet? Yikes! I was right all along. God was trying to dissuade me.
Next time I'll know the signs right away. If the Internet goes down, don't publish.
I deleted it in the afternoon. But it is still in feed readers. Drat.
I reflected again on why my emotions were in shambles.
Light bulb moment. I was experiencing this, for the first time in a couple years (a reprieve from pregnancy and nursing). It took me by surprise.
Yes, I need to be a better wife. But all is mostly good. After all, I'd killed the ants--even though my children objected to me killing one of God's creatures. My rule, I told them, is that if an ant enters my house, it's not protected.
After a while, my started speaking to me again. The ants were carpenter ants, which happen to be big and scary. They guessed it would be okay, since these ants can ruin roofs and walls and such.
I came across this series of posts on loving our husbands, and in the next week, I will get through all of them. I just need a Titus 2 influence in this area. There might be a woman at my church who can also help. She is the surrogate grandmother (for my kids) who helped get them to AWANA these last several weeks.
Just as suddenly as my emotions crashed, they regulated again tonight.
These roller-coaster emotions will affect me for six more years. And then?
I'll be considerably wrinkled, but I'll be calm.
Am I supposed to like that trade off, God?
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
on herding children and my peace
Blogging punctuates my day. The data my mind collects in a twenty-four hour period begs for reflection and analysis. I separate the positive from the negative, discerning how best to spend my energies going forward. I'm left with warm fuzzy feelings most of the time, and I fall asleep faster. The reflection helps me focus on our progress as a spiritual family, rather than on how far we have to go. When I can't blog the day feels untidy--too many loose ends.
Tonight was the awards ceremony for AWANA. Getting all four children and myself ready--including feeding everyone--stole my peace, to say the least (Daddy was working). Beth spit up on both our outfits (mommy's and baby's) five minutes before our friend was due to pick us up. Can you relate to the tension of those final moments?
Following the getting ready ordeal, I wrestled with my toddler for two hours in the foyer of the church!
Here is my plug for AWANA before I continue. I'm so proud of my boys! AWANA is a wonderful program--a real blessing for our whole family. It entails Scripture memorization, cooperative P.E. games, a Bible lesson and a related craft. Next year, Mary will attend AWANA cubbies, which is for ages 3 to kinder. We're all excited for her!
Even if your own church doesn't have this program, you might find it at a neighboring church. The program format is standard across the country, and the world.
Now, upon our return it was 8:15 p.m. Time to get the excited children into pajamas and on to hygiene. They were more interested in their AWANA awards than in getting into bed. And who can blame them? What's more, I chose this day to change their sheets! Two beds had to be made before slumber time. I know. Bad planning. Surely, I told myself, the sheets would get washed and dried and put back on beds before AWANA time. Surely.
Not! Washed and dried only.
If I had to choose a punctuation mark summarizing this day, it would be an exclamation point! The emotional exhaustion rarely reaches this level for me. Herding children is my least favorite part of parenting. Thank God we homeschool! Herding children five mornings a week would be the end of me. When I'm herding them with a time constraint, I'm too busy to disciple them.
It's amazing how much easier our days are when we stay home. Hurray for home! Home is where the peace is! As wonderful as AWANA is, I'm looking forward to more peaceful Wednesdays evenings from now until Labor Day. We do no other evening events.
Now that my day is properly punctuated, I'll force myself to do the few dishes from dinner (we had homemake chicken noodle soup--winter returned here), but all else will wait until tomorrow. The kids always give me a funny look when they wake up to a messy house. Almost as if they're saying, "What did you do last night, other than tidy up?"
Those looks are usually incentive for me to tidy up before bed.....but not tonight.
Goodnight, friends!
Tonight was the awards ceremony for AWANA. Getting all four children and myself ready--including feeding everyone--stole my peace, to say the least (Daddy was working). Beth spit up on both our outfits (mommy's and baby's) five minutes before our friend was due to pick us up. Can you relate to the tension of those final moments?
Following the getting ready ordeal, I wrestled with my toddler for two hours in the foyer of the church!
Here is my plug for AWANA before I continue. I'm so proud of my boys! AWANA is a wonderful program--a real blessing for our whole family. It entails Scripture memorization, cooperative P.E. games, a Bible lesson and a related craft. Next year, Mary will attend AWANA cubbies, which is for ages 3 to kinder. We're all excited for her!
Even if your own church doesn't have this program, you might find it at a neighboring church. The program format is standard across the country, and the world.
Now, upon our return it was 8:15 p.m. Time to get the excited children into pajamas and on to hygiene. They were more interested in their AWANA awards than in getting into bed. And who can blame them? What's more, I chose this day to change their sheets! Two beds had to be made before slumber time. I know. Bad planning. Surely, I told myself, the sheets would get washed and dried and put back on beds before AWANA time. Surely.
Not! Washed and dried only.
If I had to choose a punctuation mark summarizing this day, it would be an exclamation point! The emotional exhaustion rarely reaches this level for me. Herding children is my least favorite part of parenting. Thank God we homeschool! Herding children five mornings a week would be the end of me. When I'm herding them with a time constraint, I'm too busy to disciple them.
It's amazing how much easier our days are when we stay home. Hurray for home! Home is where the peace is! As wonderful as AWANA is, I'm looking forward to more peaceful Wednesdays evenings from now until Labor Day. We do no other evening events.
Now that my day is properly punctuated, I'll force myself to do the few dishes from dinner (we had homemake chicken noodle soup--winter returned here), but all else will wait until tomorrow. The kids always give me a funny look when they wake up to a messy house. Almost as if they're saying, "What did you do last night, other than tidy up?"
Those looks are usually incentive for me to tidy up before bed.....but not tonight.
Goodnight, friends!
giving in order to get (John Piper)
The problem with giving in order to get, from the John Piper blog. Did you see the post? Very good!
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
notes on our day
My nature-loving son is in heaven now that spring is here. Every ADHD child (and adult) I've known has needed nature therapy. Very calming to them.
They've been digging for earthworms in Ohio for five years, but this size has never appeared before. My first thought when he brought it to me, was, what kind of snake is that!!??
My Mary picks up as much earth life as her big brother.
They painted flowers while I put Beth down for a nap. Their painting time has been so peaceful lately. Paul did spill some paint on the floor--they told me--but they cleaned it up without coming to get me. How 'bout that? My babies are growing up!
I'm not able to nurse Beth out in the living areas. She will only concentrate on nursing when she's in a room alone with me. It was that way with all my babies, starting around 8 months old. If you don't expect that and try to accommodate it, your baby might wean before you both really desire it.
Beth has stopped nursing (for the most part) between the hours of 12 midnight and 5 a.m. Consequently, I noticed signs of ovulation, including very painful nursing. Why is it that nursing around ovulation hurts so much?
Medically speaking, midnight to five is called sleeping through the night. Nursing within those hours does seem to delay a woman's cycle longer, so there is something to that medical definition.
I've had a long, 26-month reprieve from cycles. All good things must come to an end, I suppose. Maybe my migraines the past couple of days are hormone related after all.
I read this post today from A Path Made Straight. What a snippet from my day! Every day. And God is working with me in much the same way regarding messes and constant interruptions. Elise has such a way with words. Someday I'll hopefully be able to craft equally beautiful posts about seemingly mundane motherhood tasks. In truth, they're not mundane at all! They slowly chisel away at our me-first natures, remaking us in his image.
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