Perfectly Wonderful

When you're the mom of several, you might enjoy spending three hours (minus chasing your toddler around) doing a large puzzle of the world.

After the puzzle is done, everyone will celebrate the accomplishment.  

One day, you might wake up to find a snowstorm.

And while you're getting the older ones ready to play in the snow, your baby will climb and make mischief.

Mischief like, say, red Playdoh on the window.

And orange crayon on the wall.

Once the kids are outside in the snow, you'll see this.

When they come back in, you'll find this.

Snow play might make your pleasantly-crazy one giddy with excitement.

It's sooo cold, you predict they'll come back in after ten minutes.  

But you'll be wrong.  They'll stay out for forty-five minutes, for the first time in six years of Ohio winters.

Because you're reading Laura Ingalls Wilder books, your son might bring in some clean snow for snow candy--something you'd read about the night before.

When you're the mom of several you might have beautiful faces in your midst, begging to be kissed. 

 And crying faces, begging to be nursed and cuddled to sleep.

When you're the mom of several, life is.......perfectly wonderful. 

my football-lovin' son

To say that my seven-year-old Paul likes college football would be an understatement.  He loves it!  We don't have cable now but we have taped games that are one to two years old.  He recently finished watching all those.

My husband--Paul's partner in all things college football--taught my eager son how to check the scores of current games online.   Our Internet speed is too slow to watch online clips, so Paul settles for checking the scores a few times a day.

Now, my sweet son knows I worry about him becoming truly obsessed, so he approaches me gingerly to ask if he can check the scores.  Again.  If he has completed at least three subjects in school (morning), or is done with school (afternoon), and if his chores are done, then I say yes, sometimes reminding him that God and family should always come before his interests and passions (I don't want his wife to feel neglected!).

As parents, we both have reservations about Paul's newest passion.  First, he does seem obsessed--occasionally even keeping himself awake at night thinking about football games.  Secondly, many college football players, while a bit purer than the pros, still have major morality issues.  My husband doesn't follow pro football--never taped any games--so Paul knows nothing about those teams or players.  But he is learning an enormous amount about college football teams all over the country.  His memory amazes both of us!

Recently, my husband heard a story about a college football player's father getting into bidding wars and taking money from the team his son finally ended up with.  This team move came after the son cheated on academics at one school and was about to be expelled (from a junior college I believe). The NCAA decided not to punish the player for the sins of his father, even though the player knew what his father was doing, and, most likely, he benefited financially from his father's six-figure payoff.  He gets to stay on this new team.  Obviously he's a very valuable player. Character means nothing, especially in college and pro-sports.  Disgusting, eh?

Anyhow, as my husband was relaying this story, I could only think of my little Paul and his obsession with college football.  What an unsavory business!  I told my husband I thought we needed to take great pains to explain to Paul that while enjoying the game is okay, he should take care to never revere players.  

So husband explained the whole unsavory story to Paul this afternoon, who seemed disgusted at the NCAA's decision.  Husband also relayed that many sports players get into trouble and have poor character, sometimes brought on by confusion over too much fame, and often because of greed and selfishness.  They are not to be worshiped in any way.  Focus on the game if you must, but not on the players--unless, of course, an individual player is particularly worthy of respect.

I hope that was enough to drive the point across.  Unfortunately, college football players and the NCAA will probably give us many more teaching opportunities.  We should probably also explain how the fans support teams, and the football business, financially.  When Paul has an income of his own he will have to decide whether it's ethical to spend his money on tickets or on TV viewing--at least for some teams.  If my husband is right and all teams participate in bidding wars but some don't get caught, well, then, I just don't know.  What a horrible business!  I pray Paul does what Jesus would desire of Him, in this and in everything.

Husband and Peter share a love for insects and nature in the warmer months, while in the winter months, husband and Paul share a love for sports.  We don't want to take away any bonding opportunities, obviously.

With good character long out of fashion, life gets pretty complicated.  All we can do is dwell closely with our children, keeping careful tabs on their hearts and on their exposures, helping them filter everything through Scripture.

I think it's a blessing we can't afford cable!

simple gifts, simple pleasures

There are so many things my soul wants to say.  I feel as though deep inside me there is poetry waiting to spill onto the screen, but somehow, right now, I can't reach it.  Instead, thoughts spill out wordy and choppy and chaotic.  I can spot the writing problems but I can't fix them in this season.  Maybe I'll never write something great or even very good, but there is that feeling of tension, of wanting to release something hidden.  Something good.

I suppose all who love the written word feel this same tension.  Some eventually tap the beauty inside, producing art, but even those who never quite get there bless at least themselves through their words, through their soul searching.  A soul story spills out, meaningful to the one penning it.

Right now I'm too invested in raising these children to have other ambitions--literary ambitions.  That is just me. I am fulfilled as a mother more than I will ever be as a word spiller.  The desire to raise and dwell with these children, to nurture them, is so central to who I am, that there's no question as to who is responsible.  He is.  He chose this--motherhood--as my contribution, my occupation.  It feels so good to be so sure of that.

While I tread water as I mother, to keep from sinking, words are my life vest.  Through my gratitude lists I worship God, thank Him, learn from Him, and listen to Him.  He reminds me that he's still there--I can still trust Him, draw strength and wisdom from Him.

I'm thankful for:

- the time spent hugging each child in turn on the couch, while they watched a Veggie Tales video about obeying your parents in the Lord (Colossians 3:20).  Okay, Miss Beth didn't exactly watch it.  She more made it challenging for the rest of us to watch it.

I'm too conscientious a parent to be a fun parent.  I don't tell jokes or come up with spontaneous new games.  Every mother has her strength; mine is to nurture.  I pray the Lord brings in other people to teach the value of laughter, for I feel its scarcity in our lives.

- The Laura Ingalls Wilder Christmas stories.  Laura and Mary and Carrie got pretty peppermint candy and new mittens in their stockings--often their only presents--and they were happy, excited. My boys learned that simpler can be sweet and precious.  Peter asked that we begin this same tradition--of pretty candy and something homemade for Christmas.  He's already planning what he will make each family member.  (Yikes! Where's a knitting teacher when you need her?!)

- I love the Ingalls-Wilder books for this treasure most of all: they teach simplicity and gratefulness.  And good character, of course.  So much of the old literature teaches that good character--Godly values--are invaluable endeavors.  In current culture, good character now takes a back seat to success and recognition and individualism.

- Cheek-to-cheek tight hugs with Miss Beth

- That precious we're-in-this-together feeling produced through marriage.  Hardships richen that feeling, as does time, making the bond inexpressibly beautiful.

- A monetary gift from my aunt before she left for Florida, used to buy Mary a new coat, allowing us to pass Mary's well-cared-for coat down to Beth.   Everyone is warm.  Thrift stores don't get many coats in (kids seem to wear them out).  Burlington Coat Factory always has good quality coats for decent prices.  Thank God we have one close enough!  Washing a Walmart coat too often means it falls apart at the seams.  Not so with Burlington Coat Factory--many washings still leave their coats looking wonderful.

- Miss Beth suffers from a UTI, the doctor confirmed Friday.  She is on an antibiotic and will hopefully be sleeping comfortably soon.

Well, Miss Beth has managed to interrupt this writing a few times before my bedtime, a few times in the middle of the night, and now a few times this morning.  That's my frustrated cue to end this.

Have a wonderful, blessed weekend, friends!

nothing thoughtful--just random

I like to write more than one or twice a week but my toddler is still having mysterious sleep issues.  She will be two years old in several days and her sleep cycles should certainly be lengthening.  Statistically speaking, most toddlers her age don't actually sleep through the night on a regular basis.  But in her case the wake-ups go beyond one or two--at least lately.  She has been waking three or four times before midnight, despite a very reasonable bedtime and a reasonable-length nap.  After midnight has been the same--three or four wake-ups.  I'm feeling like a frustrated zombie. Cold symptoms are about gone, so I don't think that's the issue.  I hope nothing is wrong with her!  At her physical next week I'll ask questions.

Meantime, there's only time for random lists, not thoughtful posts:

- We pulled the kids from AWANA earlier this week.  My stomach is sick about it, as is Peter's.  Our other two children who attended, Paul and Mary, haven't said a word about it.  I know they will all miss riding in the children's director's car.  She has been giving them a ride for several weeks now and is probably upset at our decision, since she is very close to the kids (although she will still see them twice a week for play practice, through Dec. 19th.)  I invited her to dinner next week and will try to have her for lunch a couple times per month, to help maintain her relationship with the kids and vice versa.

- Nothing was smooth with AWANA from day one this term--beyond just the poor behavior displayed by the boys in Truth N Training.  I so wish we had gone with our first instinct, which was that now didn't seem like a good time.  Quitting something feels awful, makes us look awful, and doesn't teach follow through.  Being a parent is so hard!  We are cautious and conservative parents endeavoring to protect our children's hearts from the world, while they're still developing their Christian worldviews.  Cautious and conservative are not very popular.  In fact, they're controversial.  And they can feel lonely.

- My last thought is this:  I'm sad that in this age, one can't count on kids to behave even in a church program.  My husband did a one year stint as a Children's Director of a 200-person church and he ran into similar problems.  What has happened that in our society, many kids older than 8 or 9 lose sweetness, innocence and respect for their elders?  I don't mean in their homes so much, as friction is expected there at times.  But kids generally behave better outside the home....or is that no longer true?  Is it that our nation is raising angry bullies who direct mob behavior using the fear factor?  Are kids afraid to behave, for fear of being bullied and not fitting in?  Bullying has become a chronic problem in our nation's schools; I dealt with it even in my first grade classroom.  It seems to be a symptom of a societal ill.

- Peter was poked in the ribs by the bully at Truth N Training.  That is how it often starts--with some kind of minor annoyance, which, if left unchallenged, graduates into more serious, psyche-damaging interactions.  The bully does these small tests to see who will be an easy target.  Peter said nothing and just backed away.  At eight years old he was among the youngest of the Truth N Training crowd, and he stayed fairly quiet, not getting involved in endless discussions about video games.  He was an outsider, wanting to fit in, but not at all costs.

- Even in his sadness, Peter seems to understand that our reasons were important and valid.  Although he was uncomfortable at times at AWANA, he enjoyed the PE games, the ride with Erica (the children's director), and the special days (Missions Day, penny parade, Christmas in October for Operation Christmas Child, occasional AWANA store to cash in AWANA incentive dollars).  As I cuddled with him at tuck in the other night, he said to me, through his tears, "God is going to bless this in the end somehow, isn't he?"  I said that I definitely thought so, and that every time we felt sad about it, we could pray for a second car, which we'd need to get involved in a different midweek program.  I will suggest to him also that we should both pray for the troubled boys.

And there's time for random gratitude lists:

- gingerbread man baking is eagerly anticipated around here

- Ann Voskamp's Jesse Tree book, with ornaments and Scriptures for advent

- money to replace very bald front tires just in time for snowy roads

- online friends--thank you, again, for your friendship!

- a snowy yard means no leaves and mud in my house, at least for a time--snow is clean!

- my husband's warm embrace

- a quiet house to type in right now--even Harry the Hamster is somehow quiet

- a glorious God who reveals himself to my children, to me, throughout our days

- Seven-year-old Paul telling Peter that Christians aren't any better than non-Christians--giving me the opportunity to teach that we are chosen not because of any merit, but because of God's grace.  Having been saved at thirty-one years old, rather than as a child, I can tell you that most non-Christians are merely blind, not hard-hearted.  I was a seeker, but still blind. With the help of a teacher friend, one day I woke up and knew truth and sought more truth. Then along came inner peace and true joy--growing more abundant all these thirteen years.  I am blessed knowing that my children don't have to wait until age thirty-one to know God!  Our family line is in the process of being blessed beyond measure--forever.  I hold that so dear!  So undeserved.  So beautiful.

good things

My gratitude list:

- Baby had two helpings of turkey soup, Peter had three.  "This turkey soup is so good!  Can I have another bowl?"  Having two people in this house who really like food--hubby and Peter--is rather nice, I've decided. I don't have control over very much in this life, but I can work hard in the kitchen and really make some people happy.

- Mary, sweet Mary, has a sweet tooth, like her Momma.  We made fudge today, finally, for the first time.  Very easy.  No glitches.  She loved it and it warmed my heart.  That's probably silly (especially since it's mostly sugar! Yikes!), but it really did give me the warm fuzzies to see my pretty girl enjoying her treat.

- Miss Beth was an into-everything terror while I made the soup.  My top was so about to blow.  But then I remembered it's a blessing to have a baby whose limbs can climb readily and whose arms can reach and whose legs can run.  She is not disabled.  Hallelujah.  If I were a drinker I would time a drink every night right around the dinner prep hour.  Lord knows I need some help with my nerves!  Fudge, instead?  Yeah.  That worked.

- The weather turned and we now read together under a blanket.  It just doesn't get any better than that--to cuddle with your little ones under a blanket on a cold night, enjoying a story.

- The children decorated the Christmas tree on Thanksgiving day.  It didn't get pulled down today by You Know Who, which is more than I can say about yesterday.

-  The church Christmas Pageant practices are going well.  This is such a huge undertaking, and our children's director does it joyfully, despite the extra practices taking away from her family time and leisure time.  My children consider it one of their holiday highlights.

- Penpals for kids.  Don't underestimate the joy a letter brings to a child.  To carry a letter to my son, and see his entire countenance change from serious to seriously thrilled, is so uplifting to me as a Momma.  Is it because his love language is affirming words that he likes them so much, I wonder? Paul is happy enough to get one, but not thrilled.  He's my cuddle bug.

- Pilgrim and Mayflower stories.  I love that they teach the rewards of having faith, courage, and long-suffering tendencies.

- Behind me are about five loads of laundry needing folding.  I'm mindful of the blessing it is to have plentiful, clean pajamas (or rather sweats), undergarments and linens

- Harry the Hamster is still alive, seems happy, and still livens up my evening blog and chore time by running furiously, continuously, on his wheel.  I don't ever get anywhere either, Harry.  Can you see my progress on the baskets of clean clothes?

And on that laundry note, I'd better be getting out of this chair.

Goodnight, friends!