It happened at a graduation party. Two boys, 9 and 11, giggled as they convinced their 2-year-old sister to say, "I'm se*y." The 2-year-old, glad to be the center of attention, was happy to oblige.
When we moved here six years ago, these were nice boys. Now, the word
corrupted comes to mind. It was so disheartening to watch, after not seeing them for two years.
All I could think was........
Lord, thank you.
Thank you for isolating my boys, through homeschooling and through poverty. Thank you that we have no money for camps, for sports, for anything with fees.
My four kids have each other. They are blessed.
But do they
feel blessed, you might ask. Usually, yes. But they do cry sometimes about not having money for activities. At the first tears, we felt horrible. Not put our kids in soccer two to three times a week? Or T-ball, basketball, or karate?
How un-American.
But gradually, as we've observed corrupted innocence in other children, I've realized that kids don't
know what they need
. They only know what they
want. And indulging wants quickly becomes an epidemic, eroding good stewardship. (Not to mention, in the case of extracurricular activities, stealing family time and homemade meals.)
Should we be about indulging our
wants, when much of the world can't manage their
needs? I don't think so. The more I study the Word on this subject, the more I think we're called to fill our lives with Him, instead of our wants. Because really, what do
the wants do to us?
They distract us from our relationship with Him. We're so busy having fun with our wants, or taking care of our wants, or carving time for our wants, that we push
Him out. We fall asleep reading our Bibles, or we don't read them at all. And prayer is one to three times a week, or when something is very wrong.
So I conclude, isolation is not a curse, but a blessing. (I certainly don't expect anyone to agree. Just my own conclusions here, based on conditions that were forced on me.)
I read the other day that only 9% of evangelicals have a Christian worldview. Something is
wrong in America.
We're a distracted people.
82% of Christian public-schooled students leave the faith after high school. And it's no wonder. Not only are they away from home during the best hours, but they're involved in extra activities that
also put them outside their parents' sphere of influence. When kids are away from home six to seven hours a day, don't their at-home, parent-influenced hours need to be sacred?
Who is getting discipled in America?
Not the kids. They're too busy.
Due to isolation, my boys don't know a single word that could corrupt their sisters. And if they did, they would never ask their sisters to repeat it, because they have no negative peer pressure sources in their lives. Our homeschooling events include other similarly-sheltered children.
Yes, I hear you. They do need to get out in the world, but not before
they're deeply in love with their Savior.
So in love, that no one could convince them to do something immoral, just to fit in.
Fitting in with God is enough. Having rich family relationships is enough. Or, in the case of only children, perhaps including neighborhood kids or cousins regularly is enough.
What is the best way to learn social skills?
Read and discuss the Bible.....and practice the precepts on your own family, uniquely chosen to sharpen
you.
How did Jesus disciple others?
By spending all his time with them.
But society says,
successful kids do lots of extracurricular things. What parent doesn't rattle off a list of all the things their children do? It's not that they're bragging--it's just part of the culture. And certainly there's nothing wrong with it in moderation. But soccer coaches of America seem to think kids need soccer three times a week and always on Saturdays. It's often the event
organizers that forget about moderation, leaving the parents little choice but to comply.
Be brave. Be counter-cultural. Instead of giving your kids
too much to do, don't give them
enough to do
. And watch them create their own pastimes.....even physically active ones.
Say goodbye to meltdowns....
theirs and yours. When you're running kids around, can you keep up at home?
Most importantly, when you're behind,
is discipling your kids even on your radar?
Deuteronomy 11:19
Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.
Psalm 78:4
We will not hide them from their children; we will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the LORD, his power, and the wonders he has done.
Deuteronomy 4:9
Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.
Isaiah 38:19
The living, the living--they praise you, as I am doing today; fathers tell their children about your faithfulness.
Proverbs 22:6
Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.
Ephesians 6:4
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Matthew Henry's Consice Commentary
11:18-25 Let all be directed by the three rules here given. 1. Let our hearts be filled with the word of God. There will not be good practices in the life, unless there be good thoughts, good affections, and good principles in the heart. 2. Let our eyes be fixed upon the word of God, having constant regard to it as the guide of our way, as the rule of our work, Ps 119:30. 3. Let our tongues be employed about the word of God. Nor will any thing do more to cause prosperity, and keeping up religion in a nation, than the good education of children.
