The flavor of your parenting experience depends in large part, it seems to me, on the spacing of your children, and on the sex of the eldest children.
Having a girl first is easier. Girls are mature enough at young ages to help Momma quite a bit. It's not that boys can't be systematically trained, just that girls need far less training at younger ages. My three-year-old daughter is much more mature than her brothers were at the same age. Really, no comparison. She has a natural drive to mature, while the boys seemed to have a natural drive to let Mom do everything for them, when they could swing it.
Natural birth control facilitated by on-demand breastfeeding lasts between 6 and 18 months. Consequently, some women can have babies 15 months apart, while others experience a rhythm of 18 to 27 months apart.
I find myself in an incredibly busy season, so I think of these spacing issues frequently. Most days I scratch my head and think, "How does anyone do this well? I am over my head!" Basic hygiene and nutrition needs take up most of my day.
And then there's the laundry.
Never mind the dust bunnies and the various surfaces in need of a good wiping.
I keep coming back to this thought: There simply must be a way to do this well! After all, our Lord created our womanly bodies. He knows the childrearing rhythm he had in mind. Having children every two years or so, or more often, can make for a very frazzled Momma.
So, what exactly was he thinking?
All I know is this. And I think of it often--guilty, overwhelmed mom that I am.
By the time a child is ten years old, she doesn't remember the details of her life before the age of four or five.
Tell me God, is that Grace in action for us overwhelmed Mommas? They actually lose the memory of Momma having an eye-rolling frenzy over spilt milk....over fingers in the diaper poo.....over a wet diaper right after a potty visit.....over food flung to the floor by a tired baby? They have no recollection of my worst moments?
Good. Then I can start from scratch tomorrow, making self-control a part of my persona? I haven't ruined them?
I can hope.
6 comments:
My 10 year old remembers tons from when she was 2...sorry not what you wanted to hear.
And more seriously, for me I had to redefine what "doing it well" meant.the more I downsize the better it gets. Less clothes, less suff, less dishes, less school stuff etc but my floors are still dirty though I did get to the basement floors today. Go me! :o)
My children show grace in their forgiving hearts. I don't think a day has gone by that I haven't reacted to something in haste. It keeps me humble enough to know when I need to apologize....which is often. lol I also have learned that, in order to keep the house running smooth, I need to have consistent expectations of my girls, that they need to help out around the house.
I am not sure about what kids recall when they're older, but I do know they have a very strong capacity to forgive. They know they are loved, even by parents who really, really mess up at times.
You do hug them, kiss them, comfort them, laugh with them, talk with them, tell them stories, dance and sing. They remember the good times and how much Mom loves them. The good times help them forgive the other times. Trust me.
You asked me about honey in bread. I'm not a bread expert, but I do put honey in mine. I've never heard that it compromises the nutrition. Maybe someone else knows better than me? My breadmaking ability is something I'm working on and hopefully will be good at someday.
Hang in there!! Your kids love you!!! And they know you love them.
:o)
Paula
I don't know whether you've seen this, but I thought you might be interested. This is who we picked to go up against Harry Reid this fall:
All About Sharon Angle
She's one of the people behind Nevada's great homeschooling laws (basically, you submit something to the school district once declaring your intent to homeschool and what you plan to teach, and that's it.)
Wouldn't that be something if we can get her elected? I can pretty much guarantee the northern part of the state is behind her. We'll just have to wait and see how disappointed the Las Vegans are in Harry Reid.
I re-read this and it sounds kinda awful. Sorry about that. I was SO tired when I wrote it. What I was trying to say was she remembers things but it doesn't really matter to her much, like what others have said.
I'll try to remember to re-read before I post. :o)Burning it at both ends lately.
Hello Sandi,
I didn't think what you wrote sounded awful at all. I just haven't had time to write back. I love ya!
I don't remember where I read that kids lose their early memories by ten. Sadly, my Peter is losing his memories of California. He was three and a half when we moved to Ohio. The first four years, he could recall so many details of our life there. Kind of sad, really.
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