Amazing Grace For A Depraved Father

Have you ever contemplated your own depravity of heart....that is, the heart you had before Jesus redeemed you? Did you consider yourself a pretty decent person?

I read a story about a father who did the unthinkable. He left his daughter to die, alone.

We were any better, as unsaved people? As you read about his daughter, Eva, below, you'll most assuredly feel you were better than this depraved father.

Earlier, when our child development center conducted HIV testing for all the children in the sponsorship program, Eva had tested HIV-positive. Her father received the information but refused to take the test himself.

When Eva’s condition worsened into full-blown AIDS that was visible to onlookers, he no longer wanted to be associated with her. He was afraid his friends and colleagues would think that since his daughter was HIV-positive, then he, too, was HIV-positive.

Eva’s father decided to bundle up the little angel and take her to Kawolo village to “save his face.” When we finally were able to approach him, he showed remorse for his actions.

We hired an ambulance and paramedics and drove to Kawolo village in Lugazi district. We arrived in the heat of the noonday African sun. Beautiful Eva lay shivering, as though it were winter, on a bare mat in a derelict thatched hut.

She had thinned so much that her skeleton protruded beneath her skin. Her lovely hair had fallen out. Eva’s lips had transformed into a wound so big that she was unable to eat. I could not tell how long it had been since she had last eaten.

Eva could not move any part of her body except for her frightened eyes. She saw me and tried to say something but was unable to form words.
Courtesy of Compassion International: http://blog.compassion.com/hiv-in-children-the-last-days-of-an-hiv-positive-child/#ixzz1fL9q7Z25


Click here to read the incredible story in its entirety. God uses everything. His capacity to forgive, to redeem, to make beauty out of stench, amazes me. I often read something on the Compassion blog and think, "That's the most incredible movement of God I've ever seen." 

But every week, the miracles just keep on coming. Praise God! 

What a reminder of the grace we've been given. We were no better than this father. We can't ever forget that. 

Romans 3:10
As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one:


Romans 3:11
there is no one who understands, no one who seeks God.


1 John 1:8
If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.

James 2:10

For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it.

Blessings on Thursday

Some months I feel nary a hormone effect. Three months running, in fact, found me sitting pretty.

Then, crash! I'm a mess. So forgive me if I have to count blessings for another week in an effort to avoid the exceedingly-ugly uglies, as opposed to just the serious uglies.



I'm thankful for...

...giggles in the bath.

...toast and hot cocoa.

...a cupboard full of baking supplies.

...a washer, dryer, dishwasher, a working furnace and water heater.

...free and fabulous Family Advent Devotions by Billy Graham, courtesy of the AWANA program--kid friendly with interactives.

...boxes of candy canes, only a $1, delighting my children.

...a Christmas tree.

...the large, round, pinkish mark on my cheekbone that needs to be checked by a dermatologist (I'll go in February). I have no insurance and no doctor and this whole matter reminds me of my total dependence on the Lord for everything. Total dependence on God? Not a bad thing.


...the rapidly-uglying aging process that, again, reminds me of my total dependence on God. When the mirror scares, what can one do? Nothing. That's precisely the point. You look to God for any form of beauty left in you. Some have good aging genes and sail right through this, but I deal with some unfortunate genes.

...a curious and sweet son.

...a cuddly and responsible son.

...a loving and giving daughter.

...a giggly and fun daughter.

...school days at home.

...pumpkin pie for breakfast.

...a depleting laundry pile.

...a depleting folding pile.

...clean socks and underwear.

...acknowledging and typing my blessings. It uplifts my spirit.

...praying for others. It leads me away from myself.

...chili for lunch.

...the beautiful sunset last night. The sun came out, finally, right before sunset time.

...the cross-country ski exerciser, which brings sanity to my children on cold and rainy days.

Have a blessed day!

Wednesday Blessings

Psalm 136:2-3
Give thanks to the God of gods. His faithful love endures forever. Give thanks to the Lord of lords. His faithful love endures forever.

Giving thanks for...

...Peter and Paul memorizing the Old Testament books together. And laughing through it.

...only two arthritic joints in my Beth. The naproxen seems to have no affect on her arthritis. Unless God intervenes soon, more aggressive drugs are on the horizon. Trying to hope and knowing I need to give thanks anyway. My Savior's time on the cross? It's enough. When Jesus uttered It is finished and gave up His spirit, the curtain tore in the Holy of Holies and our Father became accessible to me, to you. That is always enough. He is enough.


...brothers playing Chess and Uno on rainy days.

...Miss Beth racing her bike through the house on rainy days (part of her therapy).

...a long-awaited snow flurry, though it's still too warm to stick. Those making a living snowplowing will have a lean Christmas. December predictions aren't promising. Husband is ecstatic at this weather news, though sorry for the snowplowers.

...a sign in the neighborhood reading real estate auction coming soon. I first saw it coming back from Beth's therapy appointment. I gave thanks it wasn't our house but shed tears for the evicted. Why make the sign part of a blessing list?  It's a reminder that many desperately need prayer for stable shelter and the ability to give thanks anyway--especially over the holidays.

...the arms of a loving husband.

...clementine oranges.

...Shepherd's Pie for dinner.

...a warm home.

...owning a Bible and knowing it washes me clean and brings me joy.

...children to hug.

...prayers to pray.

...books to read.

...laundry to hang and fold, floors to sweep, dishes to wash, cluttered counter to clear. We do it all for the glory of God, with thanksgiving.

...the book Wild At Heart: Discovering the Secrets of a Man's Soul. A Christian book by a Christian counselor, it teaches how to disciple boys and understand your man. Though written for men, wives and mothers can glean much. I would read it cover to cover without stopping, but alas, my people need food and clean underwear. Or at least food. Just kidding...a load is bleaching in the washer as I type.

The author asserts that three desires are fundamental to men: the desire for battle (thus, the sticks boys constantly pick up), the desire for adventure (few men are homebodies...domestication makes them claustrophobic), and the desire to rescue a beautiful woman. When wives, mothers, and society discount and don't make allowances for these things, a man is lost. Public education doesn't help, with its sit down, be still and be nice expectations. More to come on this book, as part of my Discipling Boys series.

And guess what? My Catherine Marshall book turned up! Someone wrapped it as a pretend present and put it under a bed--a favorite pastime around here, especially around birthdays. More to come on that book as well...if my people stop dirtying their underwear and getting hungry.


On that note, the washer stopped.

What are you thankful for today? And how can I pray for you? It would be a privilege, friend.

Giving Thanks, Again

1 Thessalonians 5:18
Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
Giving thanks for...

...my Peter, the idea man, who keeps this place hopping with playtime delight, along with the detail man's help (that would be Paul). The last two days brought library simulation time. Peter and Paul rounded up "library cards" for everyone (our old CA driver's licenses and other old cards) and used Daddy's bible college books to set up a library, from which the kids checked out books, raced the clock and went back to a bedroom to "read" them. Next, they returned them, only to check out more. If they didn't beat the clock they had to pay an overdue fee of 5 cents a book. When checked out, the books were given a small cross stamp in red ink, on the inside back cover--the cross stamp being the smallest stamp they could find. Daddy would never sell his collection of bible scholar books, so I figured a small, inconspicuous stamp wouldn't hurt anything.

...Miss Mary delighting us with her pretend reading. She inserted dates and read thus: "In 1921 they sailed the seas, seeking adventure...."  The boys, so tickled by Mary's readings, congregated outside the bedroom, listening and giggling. "In the 1590's they sailed and ran into aliens."

Okay, I admit it. Mary likes Backyardigan library videos, and though I personally hate them, I say yes a couple times a month. I suspect this is where she might get her "adventure language"? It certainly isn't from The Swiss Family Robinson, which Daddy tried to read to the boys after Mary's bedtime (They boys, it turns out, couldn't handle the Old English yet).

...a day of baking and blessing. I didn't keep the laundry moving yesterday, but we did bake ten dozen cookies, enabling us to bless our mechanic, Gary, and still have some left to enjoy at home. Husband considers it a happy day when he walks through the door at 7:00 PM (following 12 hours away from home), only to find a pie or freshly baked cookies waiting for him. We try to sit down to dinner between 6:30 and 6:45, so that we're all still there when Daddy comes home. He joins us and encourages the girls to finish all their food--a duty I hate. While he eats, the children start on the prayer jars for corporate prayer. The first one done eating, usually Peter, gets the dessert on the table (if we baked something). Next, someone starts on a Bible reading. When dessert is included Miss Beth, almost three, stays around longer. She also loves to unwrap prayers and "read" them after I whisper them into her ear.

...the beginnings of a beat up Bible. Do you have a clean, neat Bible, with pages still perfect? Shame on you, then! I too, have a Bible that doesn't look well studied. A well-used Bible, marked and dated each time a passage is read, is the way to a deeper Christian walk, along with regular prayer--disjointed though it may be. Let's all make 2012 the year our Bibles become marked up and well-studied. I started a few weeks ago with this, and last night I read the Book of Colossians, underlining my favorite verses and dating them with tiny numbers in the margins. Next time I read them, I'll add another date. Miss Beth did not have one of her wake-ups until I'd read the last line. How's that for divine intervention?

...Colossians, which is a beautiful book. My favorite verses below:

Colossians 3:12-17

¹² Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. ¹³ Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. ¹⁴ And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

 ¹⁵ Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. ¹⁶ Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. ¹⁷ And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

source here

Colossians 4:2-6

² Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. ³ And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains. ⁴ Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should. ⁵ Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. ⁶ Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.

source here

...the whoopee cushion. During my Thanksgiving shopping, I found a $1 whoopee cushion to keep the children busy while we cooked like fiends. Oh, the giggles! All these days later, they're still giggling and trying to trick us into sitting down on the whoopee.

...the morning Lincoln Log creations, which get more elaborate each day.

...pictures of Daddy reading to his sweeties. Those jean-couch cushion covers, a six-year-old eyesore, need to be dyed indigo blue. I'll get to that eventually, thanks to a friend who suggested doing it in the washer itself. Am I crazy to try that?

...online friends who encourage and love and bless every day. Without much family around and with no time to go on "girlfriend" dates, I sure need my online friends, who help keep me sane. Thank you!

More blessings another time. Looks like library simulation time is over, meaning I'll have to ride herd to get Daddy's books back on the shelves.

Have a blessed day!

Counting Blessings Today

- Miss Beth loves her dollies. She had me swaddle them and take them outside for her, where she "read" them a couple stories.

- Baking with my girls. Last week Miss Mary told me, "Making cookies is my favorite thing to do with you, Mommy." It's been a stressful couple of days with arthritis and ADHD. Right about now, I can think of nothing better than baking and cuddling all day, taking in plenty of the Christmas books we checked out at the library.

- Paul's deliciously insane ability to cuddle close, leaving no space. He blesses!

- No one wet the bed last night. Maybe I can catch up on the other laundry?

- As hard as many things feel to me right now, I know any affliction we have pales in comparison to the daily realities our Compassion sweeties and their parents live. Perspective is one of God's tools--compelling us to give thanks and act on our faith.

- My husband and I, very compatible, rarely find anything to fight about. Sometimes I forget what a blessing this is. The past found me disappointed in him at times, but I understand better now how ADHD affects the brain. It's one thing to read about it, and another to see it manifested in a son and a husband. Now instead of being disappointed in them, I'm grateful to be part of God's grace for them. For more than anything, people with brain irregularities need acceptance and unconditional love, not pressure to conform to standards never designed for them.

My challenge at this juncture is to keep the weight on God to help Peter find work he can support his family with--work that capitalizes on his strengths and minimizes his brain weaknesses. How will he support more than himself, and will he marry someone rich in grace? My own husband never found a decent-paying job compatible with his ADHD, partially because the condition went undiagnosed. He also has long-standing double vision, which ruled out the military, the post office, and anything involving driving or navigating. Throughout his life he experienced failure, constant ridicule, and incredible frustration, by not understanding why and how he was different. I beg God for a different outcome for my son!

ADHD people have some unique abilities, but put them in a job with many details, high stress, and constant change, and they flounder--unless it's one of their hyperfocus areas. Since Peter hyperfocuses on nature and homesteading and gardening, I suspect he'll find success in a field that involves those things. The hyperfocusing makes it difficult for them to eat well, sleep enough, and invest in relationships, but it's often the only vehicle for sufficient financial support (if the right field is found early enough).

- A family member responded negatively to my sons' holiday song writing, finding their efforts too "religious" ("all about heaven and angels" were the exact words). Huh? Heaven and angels were never mentioned in the songs, nor implied.  "Now maybe you can write songs about Christmas" was the second comment. (Of course I didn't let my sons read the note, though it was intended for them.) A few positive comments were included, but the sarcasm and anti-religious nature were palpable. If a Son being born isn't about Christmas, what is?

For two days the comments have stolen my peace. I see someone I've prayed for become increasingly hardhearted toward God. I'm looking for a blessing in this folks...I really am. I can come up with only this: my children are being raised as Christians, breaking the cycle of unbelief. Praise God for that! I have to let the rest go, or it will destroy me.

- I know Grace is going to fall like rain today, because God knows I need it. I don't just hope it will happen. I know it will.  That in itself is a huge blessing.