When You Need Joy

Five Children Playing in the Forest
George Elgar Hicks

Flashing before me all day now? A slideshow of family photos dating back to 2008. My boys, they made it our screen saver and broke my heart.


Seeing pictures of my Beth as a baby, and my Mary with her early, abundant curls, it shatters me. My husband, an outstanding father, wants them to grow up so things are easier. But me? I want them in my lap, little. 


I love children...everything about them. The funny things they say, the way they love, the things they do for fun, the way their hair smells after a bath, the way the chocolate covers their mouths. 


I'm in heaven here on earth, with these four. 


I wanted more than four, though I didn't know it until I had three. But my birthing years? Over. My husband made that decision three years ago, and due to my age, I'd reluctantly come to accept it. 


But these old photos of the children. What an ache.


How can I bare them growing up so fast? How do I put my heart back together, when each season I give more clothes to Goodwill? Clothes that once flattered and fit and brought out their eyes, or their hair. Clothes I remember seeing on them when they were smaller and got into things constantly and drove me crazy. Gone. Just like the years.


Each Goodwill box reminds me. One day, this house will empty.


How soon can they have their own children for me to love? If we raise them strong in the Lord, will they get married at twenty, ready to love for a lifetime? Can I be a grandmom in thirteen years?


I ask the Lord these things. And his answer? It's always the same when I wonder..."How can I endure, Lord?"


Give thanks for today...for now. Joy isn't a large family. It's thanks-giving. It's knowing that eternity is enough and everything else? Bonus. Icing.


Let your photos become your screen saver. You might mourn, but you'll also live in the moment with your children.


Thank you, Father, for...


...a loving and dedicated husband.


...Peter, Paul, Mary, Beth, Isaac, and one more.


...Mrs. Piggle Wiggle books in the mail and Peter getting lost in them right away.


...putting winter clothes away on an 80 degree day.


...more room in the closets.


...summer clothing =  less laundry.


...girls playing with their dolls more.


...girls having dolly tea parties with their new dishes.


...the hamster acquired in December 2011, Jack The Black, still lives and delights Peter.


...my Mary wanting to be a mommy with her whole heart.


...Mary's and Beth's sweet, mutually-nurturing relationship.


...that girls and boys are so different, yet so individual, still.


...a good visit with a relative.


...Beth's flare gone...she's eating and sleeping better. Thank you for praying!


...a quiet house while I give thanks to God.


...God loves me and forgives me and remakes me.


...God himself...He brings joy. 

Thursday Devotions 5/3

Morning prayers
Peter Jackson

Thursday Devotions

Today's Text:  James 1:19-27

Listening and Doing

¹⁹ My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, ²⁰ because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. 

So, as I mentioned, we had a relative visit Ohio for two weeks. We hosted her about every other day for several hours. If you have babies and toddlers or more than a couple children, you know the damage children do to a house. I'm not normally a neat nick, but my visitor needed a place to sit down, see. We normally picked her up about 10:00 AM, so things had to be put away and hopefully swept and vacuumed much earlier than usual. If relatives see crumbs or dirt on your floor, they offer to sweep or vacuum for you. Or maybe that's just my relatives? Or my floors? I wanted her to concentrate on spending time with the children--whom she sees only once every two years--so I tried to maintain a non-distracting environment.

Only--and here's how the verse comes in--maintaining that environment transformed me. Not into an efficient neat nick, but into a wretched soul who shouted angry at her children. They sometimes stuffed things into holes and drawers to clean their playroom, or they did poor jobs making their beds, or they got distracted and took too long for simple tasks. 

Or, the most irritating, they made messes as fast as I cleaned them. 

But they helped too. Ten-year-old Peter vacuums like a champ. Eight-year-old Paul folds clothes well and even remembers to put them away. 

I'm grieved to say, my nagging prevailed over my praises.

The van ride over to the next township to pick her up? It calmed all of us and the visits went exceedingly well. God, loving my visitor mightily and wanting her saved, transformed the spiritual environment here from messy to glorious, no thanks to me.

My heart aches remembering my shouting...my careless words. Yes, the Holy Spirit chastised me. He did his job. I held their sweet faces in my hands each time, looked them in they eyes, and spilled tearful apologies:: "I am so sorry! I shouldn't have shouted at you. Mommy is stressed about cleaning on a deadline. Can you forgive me?"

And my children? They smiled knowingly. "That's okay, Mommy.  I forgive you."

I don't know that letting the house go was the answer. She would have felt sorry for me, trying to help me catch up each time. And the children wouldn't have the memories of her they do now...of reading stories, playing Tiddly Winks and Backgammon, of exploring the backyard, and cuddling on the couch watching Gordy The Pig (which she hated, I came to find out. No, it's not a masterpiece; the acting is atrocious. But we love icky sweet movies). 

Peter cries at the end as the pig family reunites. And I feel like crying. We're pitiful that way about pigs...we'd rather live on a farm than in a neighborhood (though not my Paul, who thinks farm animals stink). The visitor hates hillbilly anything, including pigs and cows and country love songs...a fact I'd forgotten from my childhood.

My long-winded point here? The Holy Spirit holds us accountable for Scripture. We don't have to be perfect. He knew this verse was already planted in my heart. He brought it to my mind the instant my shouting hit tender ears. And my apologies? They took all of eight minutes to spill out.

Your spiritual growth and obedience? It's in Holy hands. Read the Word. Plant it in your heart and pray it. Let the Holy Spirit do the rest. 

Prayer time:  Dear Lord, thank you for the work you've done in my heart and life. I love you. I want to shine your light and truth and grace, as pleasing fragrances in my home. Help me, Father. Make me long-suffering, slow to speak and slow to become angry. May I live to bring you glory. In Jesus' name, Amen.

²¹ Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.

Prayer time:  Dear Lord, search my heart and cleanse it. Help me to humbly accept your teaching and plant it in my heart. You alone can transform me. I'm too weak to change myself. Your Word, your blood, your Holy Spirit, they have all the power. Help me to submit, Father. In Jesus' name, Amen.

²² Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. ²³ Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror ²⁴ and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. ²⁵ But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.

Prayer time:  Dear Lord, I want to do what your Word says. Hold me accountable. Make my heart sensitive to the Holy Spirit's moment-to-moment leading. When I look in the mirror, help me to really see. I'm a sinner in need of grace and transformation. Keep me humble in heart. Transform me, day by day. Help me to experience the freedom your Word brings. Help me, my family, to be blessed in what we do, as your Word promises. I love you. Thank you for your love and faithfulness. In Jesus' name, Amen.

²⁶ Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless. ²⁷ Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

Prayer time:  Dear Lord, my walk is worthless if I don't let you transform me. If I don't humble myself daily and read your Word with a desperate thirst...if I don't pray every day to receive your heart. If I'm not desperate for you, then I'm not humble enough. For without you, I'm nothing. Don't let me deceive myself, Father. Change me and make me worthy. Cleanse me from all unrighteousness...from the world's stain. Help me to serve others with your heart. Help me to love the least with my time and my resources.

In Jesus' name, Amen.

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Linking with Emily today @ imperfect prose

Wednesday Devotions

Sunday in the Backwoods
Thomas Faed

Wednesday Devotions 5/2

Today's Text: Ephesians 6:10-20

The Armor of God

¹⁰ Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. ¹¹ Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. ¹² For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

Fallen angels headed by Satan...they are everywhere a Believer is. We battle against Satan and his army constantly. Their deception is powerful, making us fall away from God and live for ourselves, even as mothers. Living for ourselves can be so subtle we don't recognize it as sin or as backsliding. But it is sin, as surely as adultery, lying, and cheating are sin.

Dear Lord, I must admit frustration. I awoke at 4:30 AM to read your Word, pray, and write...all before the children awoke between 7:00 and 7:30. In the first hour three children woke up, needing comforting or coaxing back to sleep. Help me, Lord, because carving out time is huge. I know this is hard for all mothers. Please intervene and keep my children asleep. 

Help me to live for you...to dedicate every day to you, giving up my right to myself. For I was bought and paid for and I love you, Lord. Help me stand firm in battle, and order my days for your glory.

¹³ Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. ¹⁴ Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, ¹⁵ and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. ¹⁶ In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. ¹⁷ Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

Here is how a Christian defeats Satan and his army:

~ Truth:  Satan is all about deceit. God is all about Truth. We must cling to truth, wear truth like a belt, in our hearts and in our interactions.

~ Righteousness:  This refers not to our behavior, but to the righteousness imputed to us by God through faith in the blood of Christ. As a breastplate, it protects our hearts from deceit.

~ Our Feet to spread the Gospel:  We are to advance into enemy territory and spread the message of grace. Don't be quiet about your faith. Talk about it, write about it, sing about it. Stay close to God so you have a testimony to share.

~ Faith:  Our faith shields us from doubting God's faithfulness in the midst of enemy attacks.

~ Salvation:  This is like a helmet to protect our minds, our thoughts. Without salvation, a person cannot discern truth from lies. 

~ Spirit:  This is the Word of God, like a sword, speaking of its power to defeat. A sword is offensive, while a belt, breastplate, shield, and helmet are defensive. When Christ was tempted in the desert, he responded to Satan using the Word of God. Nothing is more powerful than the Word of God, which is why we carve out time for it and try to memorize it.

Dear Lord, thank you for these glorious tools. Help me to stay armed. Help me to remember that Satan and his army are real and they are everywhere. Their attacks may be subtle, but if I am armed, I will see through their schemes. Help me to submit my will to yours, so that I may be victorious and ever useful to you. Satan wants me to claim my right to myself, while you want me to give it up. Help me to choose you, every hour, every day.

¹⁸ And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. ¹⁹ Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mysteryof the gospel, ²⁰ for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.

I like to think of power and strength as two separate entities. To me power is ability, and strength is will. The Word of God is my power, and prayer is my strength. I need both power and will to defeat Satan, and to bring glory to God. Believers have two important duties...defeat Satan, bring glory to God.

To pray in the spirit means to pray with the mind of God, with His priorities, His will. 

It's confusing to hear that we must "pray without ceasing", or "pray on all occasions". This is not impossible, actually, and it begins with a disciplined devotional life: with you, your Bible, and your personal prayer system. Try not to use devotionals as the backbone of your time with the Lord. They should never replace your Bible, only accompany it at times as extra reading. It's tempting to want all the work done for us, but sitting with just a Study Bible is priceless. 

When you carve out this time for God, endeavoring to search and know his mind and heart, he works wonders and gives you a mind for prayer, a heart for prayer, so that you're not only praying at your devotional time, but throughout your day as well. 

I like to think of "praying without ceasing" as a gift from God. I seek Him first, diligently and with a pure heart, and then he infiltrates my heart and mind. 

He chased my heart down and saved my soul. Now, I need to chase him down. Daily. To defeat Satan, live the abundant life, and bring Him glory.

Dear Lord, thank you. You have given me everything, through your Son. Help me to chase you down. To give up my time, and my will, so that yours reigns supreme in my life. Help me to take your power, by reading my Bible, and your strength, by having a pray life. Help me to bring you glory with my heart, my mind, and my actions. 

In Your Son's name I pray,

Amen

To Pray or To Judge

Santa Claus checking the naughty and nice list
William Rogers Snow

Are you open? Or closed? Do you share burdens, or lock them up? 


As an official prayer warrior, let me tell you something. God wants you to receive help. I've come to dearly love praying for people and I'm convinced many others have the same passion. Maybe God chooses prayer warriors. Maybe hardship gives birth to a passion for prayer. Or maybe what starts as discipline, becomes passion.


Whatever.


The important thing?  Know we're out there. Prayer warriors. Wanting to pray. Needing to pray. Loving to pray.


If everyone walks around with their burdens locked up, what's a prayer warrior to do? There's no shame in having a hard time. With anything. Is there shame in hiding your burdens? Maybe.


Would you rather figure it out yourself? Do you wonder if someone will betray you if they knew? Do you see value in a certain persona and work hard to keep up that image? 


Maybe pride keeps you from soaring. Stifle it. 


In your path somewhere, you'll find a prayer warrior. Please...take her hand, pull her aside, and share your burdens. Without shame or fear.


You have much to gain. And your prayer warrior friend? You'll bless her. This is work God has given her to do.


And trusting her? Just do it. See Santa Claus up there in that painting? He's busy judging. Those who pray? They have no time to judge. Those who judge? They have no time to pray.


If you don't personally know a prayer warrior, leave me a comment with your request. Comments are on delay and your comment won't be published. I'm the prayer warrior in your midst. Put me to work.


Leave me your name or use the anonymous feature. I can make it work either way. You can also e-mail me at christine4431(at)ymail(dot)com.


Through prayer you have divine intervention to gain, and nothing to lose. Except pride.


James 5:13-16
Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.

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Thankful Reflections

Victorian Lady II
John O'brien

Gratitude is the fairest blossom which springs from the soul. Henry Ward Beecher

Lord, I thank you for...


...a friend sending a prayer cloth for Beth in the mail from CA. Prayer cloths are mentioned in the book of Acts. They have no healing power of their own. Rather, they're a point of contact--a way of combining the prayers of people who aren't in the same location. Our church does not anoint with oil, but my friend put oil on the cloth while she and others prayed for Beth. We put the cloth on Beth and add our prayers to our friends' prayers. I don't understand why the sick aren't anointed with oil as a rule anymore. Husband said there's no biblical reason for this practice to have fallen away. (I'm sure some American churches still do it regularly.)

...a basketball hoop for the boys to get in shape, and for mom and dad and the girls to join in when we can.

...delighting over Pooh Bear tales.

...Beth's flare subsiding more.

...freshly mown grass.

...pineapple upside-down cake.

...a nurturing Beth covering her bunny every night before bed, and re-covering him during the night when she wakes up. The covers have to be just so for bunny to be happy.

...Mary helping with baking and asking, "Aren't I going to be a good mommy some day?" 

...Mary asking, "Mommy, how do I get started being a mommy? Like...how do I get the house?"


...a nice uncle and aunt visiting from Washington D.C.


...another visitor wrapping up her two-week visit in a few days. Visitors are a blessing, but getting back to a schedule is attractive too.


...children who behave nicely away from home and with visitors. Kind of frustrating when they let their hair down at home, but being able to count on their good behavior elsewhere? What a grace. It hasn't always been that way, but with the youngest turning 3.5 yrs. this June, things are easier in many respects.


...my girls still wanting to cuddle often...and my Paul too, who will never stop cuddling, I'm sure. He'd do well to marry another cuddle bug.


...library books to enjoy together.


...the promise of warmer weather this Wednesday.


....my husband, the most wonderful man on earth (to me). The only truly selfless man I know.


...five pairs of very nice jeans for Peter from our latest thrift store run. He was down to just two pairs without holes and I couldn't keep up with his laundry. I don't get to go shopping very often, so finding five pairs for $3 to $5 each, at the same store? A God thing, surely. They'll fit into the fall, too.


...after reading about Tiddly Winks in a Mrs. Piggle Wiggle book, Paul found a used Tiddly Winks game at the Goodwill. What a blast they've had playing it these past few days! They bring their own money when we go to Goodwill, and they always find nice board games for $2 or less. On the last run they found Backgammon, which they're still enjoying. My boys don't play with toys anymore, so games are a godsend.


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