Parenting as Prayer

Friends, I have tangible evidence that prayer for our children works! I'm giving thanks tonight.

Let me explain?

Some stubbornness is to be expected in children ages 3.5 and 5.5. I get this. But both my daughters are about as stubborn as a butternut squash is to cut into. Sweet and tasty on the inside, begging for cinnamon and nutmeg, if you can ever get in there.

For example, they have no difficulty apologizing to each other (they're very tight) but when it comes to apologizing to others? They dig their heals in and pout and will take a consequence rather than apologize. In fact, Mary is one of the most stubborn children you'll ever meet, despite having two parents who ranked high in submissiveness on Christian personality surveys.

Oh...I'm stubborn all right, but no more than the average woman. I'm talking far higher than average for dear little Mary, and though it may be too soon to rank Beth's stubbornness, I suspect it, too, is high.

Will they have difficulty obeying God? Will they make colossal mistakes in their teens or twenties, negatively affecting their entire future? Will their hearts ever be submissive, desiring to please the Father? And hopefully their parents occasionally? Will they remain in the faith or go their own way?

I have my set of worries about Peter too, who is easily angered and very reactive.

I prayed, but things remained the same.

I continued to pray.

And this week, a breakthrough.

No, they aren't cured of sin. The breakthrough wasn't with the children, but with me. (Not that I'm cured either.)

When it comes to training children in the way they should go, the problems lie as much in our reactions, as in their behaviors.

This week the Lord answered my parenting prayers by changing me. Whenever a heart issue came up with one of these three children, instead of reacting, the Holy Spirit prompted me to pray for their relationship with the Father, first.

I turned every transgression into a prayer. And then, while calm and with faith that the Father will complete a good work in them, I went on to give a reasonable consequence if appropriate. Peter and Mary are saved and receptive to the Holy Spirit, but Beth is young yet. She has some knowledge and some spiritual practices, but not salvation.

Philippians 1:6
being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus 

Romans 8:28

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. 

Previously, my worrying about their futures as Jesus followers prompted me to react emotionally to their transgressions. It was as though I panicked somewhat every time they displayed a hard heart.

Having the Holy Spirit tangibly direct my parenting this week renewed one of my core beliefs: Parenting is a prayer.



I believe our greatest parental accomplishment, and greatest act of love as a parent, is to pray consistently for our children. Prayer is hard. In our down time--if we have any, that is--there are so many things we need to do, or that we'd like to do, that prayer easily gets pushed aside. It's a sacrificial act until it's routine, but then the very act of prayer becomes blessing.

Get through that first month clinging to consistent prayer, and feel and watch a lifelong habit form. It's transforming.

We've all failed enough as parents to know this: We can't do it in our own strength.

Once you have your prayer system in place, wait and see, continuing to pray in faith. Notice how the Holy Spirit will make you his instrument, his robot if you will, letting parental wisdom and love flow right through you.

The greatest parent we'll ever know? Our Heavenly Father! We need Him as the wind beneath our parenting wings.

If we pray consistently for our children, we'll never regret it. If we don't, the regret will last a lifetime. 

Bless the Lord, Oh My Soul

My new favorite song. And thank you to Kathleen for posting this video on her blog.

When this song comes on, gratitude tears flow by the second singing of the chorus. It's so powerful and while I sing it, I know exactly what God intended for my soul. Worship. A hand-lifting, tear-flowing worship of the Almighty God. My Redeemer. My faithful Father.

It's no coincidence that so many tears flow during corporate worship. And I don't even go to Pentecostal churches! Those tears? They're evidence that we've been overcome by his grace, by his love, by the sheer magnitude of his sacrifice. And by the faithfulness He's always shown.

If you have loose ends in your life right now and you can't seem to see God's hand in the tethers, be still and know. Worship right through those loose ends.

Philippians 1:6
being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus 

Romans 8:28

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. 

Memorize these two verses above and be reminded of this. God doesn't do loose ends.

Take time to worship today. It's your calling.

Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name

The sun comes up, it's a new day dawning
It's time to sing Your song again
Whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me
Let me be singing when the evening comes

Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name

You're rich in love, and You're slow to anger
Your name is great, and Your heart is kind
For all Your goodness I will keep on singing
Ten thousand reasons for my heart to find

Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name

And on that day when my strength is failing
The end draws near and my time has come
Still my soul will sing Your praise unending
Ten thousand years and then forevermore

Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name

Jesus, I'll worship Your holy name
Lord, I'll worship Your holy name

Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name
Jesus, I'll worship Your holy name
I'll worship Your holy name

Thankful Thursday

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Psalm 30:12
To the end that my glory may sing praise to thee,
and not be silent. O Lord my God,
I will give thanks unto thee for ever.

Dear Lord, thank you for these blessings:

~ For a missionary friend and her husband, who've spent 30 years in Brazil and still currently do ministry there. She is a faithful prayer partner and soul friend. What an encouragement to me! They visited us this summer while on furlough. It was a blessing to finally meet them in person. My first contact with them was through Christmas letters after I married in 1999. My husband's family had ties to them. So often her e-mails say just what my heart needs to hear, and it's a pleasure to pray for their ministry there. They've started two churches, do home Bible studies, and she does one-on-one discipling with Brazilian ladies.

~ For the wonderful wisdom penned by Ann Voskamp this week, here and here.

~ For AWANA, a 9-year scripture memorization program providing a structured, solid foundation in the Bible for ages preschool through sixth grade. It started up again last night. Click here to find an AWANA program near you. It's the best mid-week program you'll find for kids, including structured PE games, a Bible lesson, a craft for ages 3 - 8, and a one-on-one time with a trained volunteer to recite verses. There are three levels: Cubbies for ages 3-5 (turning age 3 by Sept. of the starting year), Sparks for grades K - 2, and Truth and Training for grades 3-6.

After graduating your child can build leadership skills by becoming a helper for Cubbies or Sparks. This is a brilliant investment in your child's present and future--one with an eternal perspective. The scaffolding and review that occurs in the program ensures comprehension and mastery of the foundational verses of the Christian faith. Just try it one year and see if it doesn't beat every other activity on your list.

~ For my younger ones, so excited as we drove to AWANA, chanting and cheering with all enthusiasm, A - W- A -N - A, and bolting out of the car as fast as they could upon arrival.

~ For starting the day in the easy chair rocking with two of my children, praying over their hearts.

~  For brilliant green, freshly cut grass

~ For volunteering in the Cubbie room; being the verse teacher for the year.

~ For my Beth, age 3.5, sitting nicely in the Cubbie room, listening to her teacher's every word and delighting in every moment...until she noticed the cute boy on the carpet square next to hers, who happened to be the preacher's kid with speech as garbled as hers. They were all so cute and precious...the time passed way too quickly.

~ For Paul taking over my practice session with Mary this morning, telling her he knows every verse in the first Sparks AWANA book and he would help her any time she wanted. Poor Mary has poison ivy, making her quite miserable, but she was a trooper as Paul had her say over and over: S is for Savior. 1 John 4:14: The Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. Then he asked her what we were saved from. When she answered: "From our sins" he gave her a huge, surprised smile, telling her what a good job she did.

~ For cooler weather on the horizon. It's been so humid the past week, you'd think we lived in Florida. I visited Florida a few times and as soon as I left the airplane, I wanted to turn around and get back on. "No, no, this was a mistake!" So you can imagine my joy at the impending cooler weather. Thank you, Lord, for the changing seasons!

~ For my Mary, who as I mentioned has poison ivy, telling me last night right before she fell asleep: "Mommy, no one in AWANA said anything about the poison ivy on my face. Wasn't that nice of them?" Oh, but that spoke volumes. We are not a family of mirrors. The only mirrors are small ones, in the bathrooms and entry way, and three of my children aren't tall enough to use them. The children rarely look at themselves, which could be good or bad, but it touched my heart that Mary was concerned about her face. She heard my husband wondering if it would leave a scar if she scratched it, and she remembered me noticing it and wincing, telling her how sorry I was that she was suffering. Both those things apparently made her self-conscious about it. I have to be so careful about drawing attention to appearances, in even minor ways, especially with girls. I'm most thankful, though, that I was there at her beside. Children often share very important things at bedtime. Lingering with them is always a blessing.

Friends, what are you thankful for today?

Linking with Iris at http://www.eph2810.com

How to be Like Jesus

Cornell University Library, 1920
Photo featured in a popular woman's magazine of the time: The proper way to do chores.

The most significant thing that Christ did on this earth? I contemplated it today, heavily, to get through some rough patches in my day. Obviously, His most significant acts were suffering and dying. Many lessons were taught on top of that, sure. Hard ones--like turn the other cheek and lose your life to gain it and rejoice in your suffering and cheerfully give up your resources to help another.

And mothers? I needed to know: what is the most significant thing a mother can do? I pondered it as I struggled with the dishes. They're my least favorite chore because as interruptions occur I have to wash my hands, dry them, attend to a child, and then turn back to my dirty dishes, getting my hands soiled again, only to get interrupted again, starting the cycle over. Only the word maddening works to describe the scene.

Am I happy-go-lucky during the dish struggle? Do I give the moment to God and take what comes, so long as the interruptions seem reasonable? No. The frustration level percolates, slowly rising, and then the dryer bell rings, forcing me to wash my hands and stop the dishes once again. Then as I get the dry load hung up, amid its own interruptions, and go back to the dishes, I get two more loaded in before my three year old falls and needs cuddling. So I quickly wash my hands again, and nurse her tears away in the easy chair.

And then my own tears threaten to fall. I just want to get. the. dishes. done. already. Why is it such a struggle every day, to just do the dishes three times? While I wash dishes who knows how many other women wash them at precisely the same time, around the globe? So why does it send me into such despair--this simple, universal act?

I found my answer today. As my nursling's tears calmed I sat there, silent. I contemplated Christ's most significant act. He died to himself. On the cross...and every day.

Every single day he tired himself out, giving. Little return did he receive, but still he gave, willingly, knowing he would suffer and die at the end of it all. Willingly is such a key word here. He didn't complain or wish all the giving could finally be finished for the day, so he could have time to himself to just read and relax.

Every mother has those things she does well, whether it be playing on the floor, giggling and enjoying the moment, reading countless books, kissing boo boos with style, running a house like a pro, or making everyone consistently accountable. Mothering requires many skill sets and no woman masters them all.

If we're great at some things, good at a few, and mediocre at all the rest, what does growing more like Christ mean, practically speaking, for the stay-at-home mother? I've been a Christian for fifteen years and by now I know my everyday task. Upon waking in the morning, I'm to be a little more like Christ than I was the day before.

And this is precisely why the struggle with the dishes confounds me. Because I don't ever get any cheerier about it than I was the day before. I want to do them my way. As in, efficiently. In one full swoop. I give in to crankiness when it can't be my way: going in there, getting down and dirty for twenty minutes, rinsing them off, loading them up, wiping everything down, getting the machine humming, turning off the light, and leaving.

So in my big blue easy chair today, the Holy Spirit whispered it to me. Graciousness. I want you to work on doing what you don't like--dying to yourself--graciously. Yes, you already work hard. Yes, you don't have a support system in town. No grandparents to take over. No help. No dates to go on with your hubby. And, yes, there's never a let up in the problems and worries.

But still, I want to make a gracious woman out of you, if you'll let Me. 

I only understand it perfectly right now, as I type it. Tomorrow when the time for dishes comes, I am to imagine Him on the cross, giving up his life, graciously.

And when the interruptions come, I am to wear a smile. Feel a smile. Live a smile. That's graciousness. In His strength, not my own, I will do it.

Philippians 1:6

Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. 

One day at a time. One conversation in the easy chair at a time, He will make me more like Him. It's not about the dishes or the laundry or the wiping of toilets or the sweeping of floors or the herding of children or the proper style of boo boo kissing. 

It's about my heart. About my willingness to take my desires and nail them neatly to a cross, never turning back for a pining look-see, wishing it could be different. I need to walk up there with my nails and hammer, and my pieces of paper that reflect my way of doing dishes, my way of paying bills, my way of raising children, my way of being a wife, mother, teacher, daughter, friend....pounding every last desire onto the tree. Graciously.

Only then, can I be like Jesus. 

Luke 17:33

Whoever tries to keep his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life will preserve it. 

 

Multitude Monday: Answering Hard Questions

Less than twenty-four hours after his official asthma diagnosis, he peers out the window, envious. Neighborhood kids fill the street.

"Why do I have to be different, Mommy? All these kids can ride their bikes and play whenever they want, and I have asthma. Why did God allow this is happen to me?"

Oh, I see his point. He also has ADHD, an anxiety disorder, a tic disorder, OCD, a fine-motor delay and unusual difficulty with spelling. The three weeks he went without his ADHD medicine during our break from school, were some of the longest days of my life. He needs routine; vacations are not his friend, nor mine. Among other problems his tics came back and the doctor agreed he's not a candidate for summer breaks from Strattera.

He's different alright.

And he's ten years old, seeking to understand.

I've uttered it all before...what a blessing it is to be plucked from the crowd by a loving Heavenly Father, one who works all things for your good, according to His purpose. One who sets you apart for sanctification, for eternity, for good works.

When you're ten, how does it all sink in...become breathe and life even? How can I explain it so that his question becomes: "Mommy, why am I set apart for God, while all these others may perish?"

How do I watch him struggle to take a breath, give him albuterol, oral prednisone, claritan and strattera, and not wish things were different for him? How do I notice the peace in the house when he goes birding with Daddy for four hours, and not wish things were different for him and for me?

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Son, you Praise Him. When you're praising the Almighty you can't possibly feel disadvantaged. Your soul will soar the very way God intended. While uttering your praise, while worshiping your Father, you will know the greatest peace available on earth. A peace that surpasses all understanding, the way it did for the man who wrote--after losing his son, his financial security, and then his four daughters--"It is well with my soul."

Horatio Spafford (1828-1888) was a wealthy Chicago lawyer with a thriving legal practice, a beautiful home, a wife, four daughters and a son. He was also a devout Christian and faithful student of the Scriptures. His circle of friends included Dwight L. Moody, Ira Sankey and various other well-known Christians of the day.

At the very height of his financial and professional success, Horatio and his wife Anna suffered the tragic loss of their young son. Shortly thereafter on October 8, 1871, the Great Chicago Fire destroyed almost every real estate investment that Spafford had.

In 1873, Spafford scheduled a boat trip to Europe in order to give his wife and daughters a much needed vacation and time to recover from the tragedy. He also went to join Moody and Sankey on an evangelistic campaign in England. Spafford sent his wife and daughters ahead of him while he remained in Chicago to take care of some unexpected last minute business. Several days later he received notice that his family's ship had encountered a collision. All four of his daughters drowned; only his wife had survived.
With a heavy heart, Spafford boarded a boat that would take him to his grieving Anna in England. It was on this trip that he penned those now famous words, When sorrow like sea billows roll; it is well, it is well with my soul.. http://www.sharefaith.com/guide/Christian-Music/hymns-the-songs-and-the-stories/it-is-well-with-my-soul-the-song-and-the-story.html

 It Is Well With My Soul

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well with my soul.

Refrain:
It is well (it is well),
with my soul (with my soul),
It is well, it is well with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ hath regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

Refrain

My sin, oh the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to His cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

Refrain

For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.

Refrain

And Lord haste the day, when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

Refrain

My son, do not look to the world for peace, for parity, for any truth. None is found there, but take heart...For He has overcome the world.

These words, son, speak truth: Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come, Let this blest assurance control, That Christ hath regarded my helpless estate, And hath shed His own blood for my soul. No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life, Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.

Abide in Christ, my son. Read His beautiful, healing Word. Praise Him and lift your hands in worship. He will whisper it. That peace that surpasses all understanding. Stop looking out the window and let your soul feast on that.

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Praising Him and thanking Him for these gifts today:

~ Husband took all four to the park so I could dust all the blinds, lamps, wall pictures, ceilings and surfaces, then launder all the valances and bedding, and finally, vacuum. We needed an asthma-friendly home, which unfortunately included giving our beloved new hamster away. Peter seems mostly recovered and has only one more day of prednisone.

~ Working with these folks, learning to be more like Jesus. Click over and pray for these children, please?

~ While it wasn't a particularly fun holiday weekend for Momma, we did take the time to cuddle together one night and watch Tinkerbell and the Great Fairy Rescue, which is a wonderful, wholesome family movie with the same theme as Mary Poppins...enjoy your children every day, for your time with them is far too short.

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~ hearing I love you, Mommy a lot this weekend.

~ kids saying Thank you, Mommy for cleaning the house and all the bedrooms. "How did you do it?', they added in awe as they looked around. That one really made me smile. It didn't occur to them that I only got it done because they were gone. :) It's amazing what Momma can accomplish when she's alone, isn't it?

~ A pediatrician who knows me well and trusts me.

~ being a Momma of four, with two more in Father's care in heaven, waiting for their Momma hugs

~ being a wife

~ fall temps and color right around the corner

~ prayer partners

~ husband off all day on Labor Day

~ grilled squash

~ mercy, grace, peace

~ being set apart

~ Horatio Spafford, his words and faith

~ that a friend was obedient to God and dared to share her faith with me, those 15 years ago

~ that when I asked the whole family at dinner: "Name one thing the Holy Spirit said to you today", everyone answered without hesitation. Praise God! (except the three year old :)

~ that when I asked the whole family to tell me one way their family had blessed them that day, they all answered readily, without much forethought.

~ family dinners

~ listening to my five year old pray

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 Friends, what are you thankful for today? Please know I'm thankful for you, too. Thank you for reading here.

Linking with Ann today and many other thankful ladies