Homeschool and Mother's Journal Jan 10

In My Life This Week:

It was a really great, productive week, outside of the usual unpleasantness of things breaking--like my husband's car breaking down for the second time in 7 days, and some house pipes temporarily freezing, and the dryer screeching louder than last week. The dishwasher that broke last April or May, now fills up with water for some reason, probably having to do with a drain problem somewhere.

How do I avoid crying when more than one thing breaks in a week? Bible and books. The more life gets rough, with no immediate answers, the more I soak up Scripture and good stories. If you have your children gathered close, and you have a good story to share, what could be wrong?

I remember reading that a large homeschooling family who writes Christian material professionally, doesn't encourage their children to read a lot of literature because it can be a waste of time.

A waste of time? I was shocked.

Well...we do sit down when we read. We don't generally fold laundry or cook or clean at the same time, so yes, I can see how one could read the day away and not wipe any faces or make any oatmeal or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, or sweep any floors or teach any lessons.

A book lovin' mother must exercise restraint, for sure. It's hard, let me tell you, especially when Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm is in your heart and lap. I'm reading this to myself at night, and to the kids after lunch each day.

Synopsis: When Rebecca comes from the chaotic family farm to live with her spinster aunts in Riverboro, strict Miranda and gentle Jane don't know how to cope with a wild and zestful ten-year-old -- nor she with them. But Rebecca is the most likeable, energetic, enthusiastic girl anyone ever met. And Riverboro is never the same again either! Lexile 1190, Grade Equivalent 8.9

But really? Books...a waste of time? Life this side of heaven is hard. We need outstanding books to provide joy, escape, and perspective. A timeless book reminds us that we are not the only suffering souls that ever lived, and that courage and honorable character are choices.

In Our Homeschool This Week:

The boys, ages 10 and 12, still enjoy Writing With Ease, by Susan Wise Bauer, and also morning quick writes. They continue to read Water Sky from their Sonlight Core F curriculum, and are almost through Usborne's Complete Book of the Human Body, and Almost 12 (a very good Christian book about puberty). They have some non-fiction reading about China to finish up, and some World Book DVD ROM research to finish up about China, before moving on to a study of Russia.







We continue to read through 1 Kings with the accompanying commentary in my study Bible, during morning devotions, and the boys also read it on their own later.

The girls, ages 5 and 7, enjoyed many books with Mommy this week (boys listened too), and are moving right along in their studies. I'm seeing more maturity and ability to buckle down and work hard. Mary's reading fluency improved this week, and Beth's handwriting looks better, too.

Several of the library books I'm about to share are social-studies themed in one way or another. I purchased a Sonlight science curriculum for the girls, but for social studies we use library books and our own non-fiction library.

Abe Lincoln Crosses a Creek, by Deborah Hopkinson, whose author page at Scholastic is here.



Overview: This ALA-ALSC Notable Children's Book and Booklist Editors' Choice is an ingenious historical fiction picture book about the 16th president of the United States, Abraham Lincoln. It’s a tale of two boys who get themselves into more trouble than bear cubs in a candy store.

The year is 1816. Abe is only seven years old, and his pal, Austin, is ten. Abe and Austin decide to journey down to Knob Creek. The water looks scary and deep, and Austin points out that they don’t know how to swim. Nevertheless, they decide to traverse it. I won’t tell you what happens, but let’s just say that our country wouldn’t be the same if Austin hadn’t been there to help his friend.

My Mary told me this Lincoln story is one of her favorites, and my son Paul said the author has a fantastic writing style, a view I most certainly agree with.

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Fannie in the Kitchen, by Deborah Hopkinson 

Yes, this week I checked out several Hopkinson titles. She's definitely one of my favorite children's authors.

Publisher Overview: 

Marcia is unhappy when Mama hires a mother's helper named Fannie Farmer. However, as Fannie shows Marcia how to spot a rotten egg, choose the best melon, and flip a griddle cake at the precise moment, Marcia finds joy and comfort in Fannie's kitchen.

It's so heartwarming the way Fannie teaches this young girl how to bake and cook, just as her mother welcomes a new baby and is over-the-moon happy and preoccupied with her precious bundle of joy. We enjoyed every minute of this charming tale, and cheered for little Marcia with her new-found confidence!

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Knit Your Bit, A World War 1 Story, by Deborah Hopkinson

Publisher Overview: Mikey’s dad has left home to fight overseas during World War I, and Mikey wants to do something BIG to help. When his teacher suggests that the class participate in a knitting bee in Central Park to knit clothing for the troops, Mikey and his friends roll their eyes—knitting is for girls! But when the girls turn it into a competition, the boys just have to meet the challenge.

Based on a real “Knit-In” event at Central Park in 1918, Knit Your Bit shows readers that making a lasting contribution is as easy as trying something new! 

This story is exciting, charming, and informative, with plenty of historical details. A friend from church came last weekend and taught us how to knit, and I wanted to read this to the boys so they would feel confident in their desire to learn to knit. Whether they will actually take it up for good, I can't say, but at least Paul enjoys it (saying it's so relaxing). Any handicraft, whether it's knitting, woodworking, painting, or drawing, is very good for kids. We have to intentionally resist the electronics craze and get them working with their hands. Far better for the brain!

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Next we move on to three Patricia Polacco books, whose Scholastic author page is here. 

Publisher Overview: Whenever Mary Ellen needed Betty Doll, she was there. Betty Doll saw her through happy and sad times, thunderstorms and parties, weddings and births. Now, when Mary Ellen’s daughter Trisha needs Betty Doll most, she rediscovers the sweet old doll, along with a letter written by her mother before she died. This touching story is a reminder of the power of a mother’s love and the joy of life’s precious moments.

I suffered from leaky eyes all week, reading to the kids. All these stories are just precious and I didn't get to the end of one of them without crying.

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Publisher's Weekly Review: As she did in Thank You, Mr. Falker and The Junkyard Wonders, Polacco pays homage to an influential teacher from her childhood—in this case, two of them. Trisha’s homeroom teacher, Mr. Donovan, who has “a laugh that sounded like bells ringing,” realizes that Trisha needs extra time to finish (and thereby pass) tests. He also recognizes her artistic talent and arranges for Trisha to join Miss Chew’s high school art class. The girl immediately feels at home under the tutelage of Miss Chew, who is of Chinese descent and whose grace and warmth emanate from Polacco’s vibrant portraits (Miss Chew is often seen in brightly patterned dresses and paint-spattered smocks, arms spread wide). Emotionally and artistically, Trisha connects with the woman, who emphasizes the need “to see” rather than merely look at one’s subject; Miss Chew also pinpoints the cause of Trisha’s reading troubles, though a one-note villain of a substitute teacher threatens Trisha’s progress. The joy of artistic creation and the value of teachers who are willing to look outside the box come through clearly in the first-person narrative and Polacco’s fluid illustrations.

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Publisher Overview: 

Ever since the Nazis marched into Monique's small French village, terrorizing it, nothing surprises her, until the night Monique encounters 'the little ghost' sitting at the end of her bed. She turns out to be a girl named Sevrine, who has been hiding from the Nazis in Monique's basement. Playing after dark, the two become friends, until, in a terrifying moment, they are discovered, sending both of their families into a nighttime flight.

During the Nazi occupation of France, Monique's mother hides a Jewish family in her basement and tries to help them escape to freedom.

Our Favorite Things This Week:

I've enjoyed cuddling with children and books, and my quiet time reading Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm at night. I continue to enjoy John Piper's Advent book Good News of Great Joy. John Piper is a phenomenal theologian.

The children enjoyed baking snicker doodles and soft ginger snaps, and the boys rather liked the excitement of pipes freezing on us for the first time in our 8.5 years in Ohio. I, however, panicked, before checking the Internet for solutions. Only 3 faucets were affected; we used a space heater to heat up a closet that houses pipes.

They drew while I read aloud after lunch each day, and they're mighty proud of their creations.

I'm Grateful For:

~ lots and lots of grace

~ our practice of dedicating the day to the Lord each morning during devotions. We also ask for control over our tongues as we dwell and learn and play together, which really helps us remember to be kind to each other as we go about our day.

~ good friends

~ the power of prayer

~ siblings being best friends (even if they don't realize it)

~ getting lost in stories and verses

~ a very kind, helpful mechanic who even comes to our home when we need him (husband's car is 25 years old!)

~ Beth making strides in speech therapy this week

~ letters from Compassion kids

~ Paul's headaches have not returned!

~ Peter turning 12 this weekend (I've been doing this 12 years already? Blows my mind how fast it's gone.)

~ no matter how many things break, my spirit is always whole and healthy in Him

Quotes to Share:

Matthew 4:4 'Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.'"

“Fantasy is escapist, and that is its glory. If a soldier is imprisoned by the enemy, don't we consider it his duty to escape?. . .If we value the freedom of mind and soul, if we're partisans of liberty, then it's our plain duty to escape, and to take as many people with us as we can!” 
― J.R.R. Tolkien

“Literature adds to reality, it does not simply describe it. It enriches the necessary competencies that daily life requires and provides; and in this respect, it irrigates the deserts that our lives have already become.” 
― C.S. Lewis

“Oh! Do not attack me with your watch. A watch is always too fast or too slow. I cannot be dictated to by a watch.” 
― Jane Austen, Mansfield Park

“Medicine is my lawful wife, and literature is my mistress. When I get fed up with one, I spend the night with the other” 
― Anton Chekhov

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Morning Quick Write: My Paul Praises God

Each morning we start with breakfast, mom-led Bible reading (Daddy is already gone when we get to the table), and round-robin prayer as usual, and this semester we're consistently adding this to the morning opening: 10-minute quick writes

Before I set the clock they write a date opening in their journals (all except Beth, who writes the capital letters instead):

Today is Tuesday, January 7, 2014.

Once they all complete the opening, I set the timer for 10 minutes, after which they write anything they want. I have a list of suggestions taped to the window next to the dining table.

Quick Write Ideas: 

- Make a list (blessing list, grocery list, list of what you like about winter...)

- Tell about your day or week (narrative writing).

- Write a song or rhyme. (Even a song or nursery rhyme they already know, but no copying anything; there is nothing in front of them.)

- Write a short story (to be continued the next day, if desired). (narrative writing)

- Write a recipe from memory, or make up a new one. (expository writing)

- Write a prayer or a memorized verse.

- Describe someone or something. (descriptive writing)

- Convince someone of your point of view. (persuasive writing)

This is what my Paul, age 10 wrote:

I am going to write a song:

Lift the Lord up,
He is almighty.
Lift the Lord up,
He is the rescuer.

The Lord is wonderful;
he is amazing.
We praise him in the morn;
We praise him in the night,
He is amazing.

Lift the Lord up,
he died for us;
Lift the Lord up,
he rose.

The Lord is wonderful;
he is amazing.
We praise Him in the morn,
we praise
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Parenting is so hard and there are so many things to work on in our children: heart issues, hygiene issues, responsibility issues. Even at 10 years old, my boy needs me to point out when there's food on his face. How he doesn't feel it, I don't know, but when we go somewhere, I know to check four faces for cleanliness.

The time we spend on Bible reading, prayer, and discipling does sink in. It does matter. The Holy Spirit makes our efforts a success. Obedience is our part, success is His.

Usually we have to continue on in faith, with little feedback about outcomes. Sometimes, though, we get a picture of God's glory shining through our children, and that makes every ounce of exhaustion and effort worth it.

Lord, we praise you for accepting our imperfect efforts, and using them to shape hearts that are fixed on you. Please accept heartfelt, teary gratitude from weary Christian moms everywhere. Amen.

Desires Fulfilled...In God's Timing

For a long time I've mourned the absence of a creative domestic mentor in my life. My own mother never had any interest in sewing, knitting, crocheting, quilting, canning, baking, or cooking from scratch. On my own, during the last three and a half years, I've learned to cook from scratch, bake from scratch, and even make pies, but pie crusts and yeast still intimidate me. Sometimes I manage a bread loaf or some cinnamon rolls that come out beautifully, and other times the yeast confounds me. Or a child plays with the yeasty loaf after I’ve patiently let it rise, and suddenly it’s flat again. Bread dough is not Playdoh, I reprimanded them.

In my home there are no made-by-me quilts, Afghans, dresses, scarves, or sweaters. Some women have no interest in these things, but to me they’re as much a draw as the four seasons were when I was growing up in California.

I guess I just long for the old-fashioned, early 20th century life, sans the skinning of squirrels and deer, and the scarlet fever and polio.

The Lord knows the desires of our hearts, and even when we don’t make a campaign of prayer over a desire, he still comes through to delight us. I’ve prayed some for a domestic mentor, but not consistently and not as fervently as I pray for other things. But still, the longing was there, and God knew it.

This last Saturday a friend from church came over for dinner with her two daughters. They taught us to knit, and promised to also show us crochet, quilting, needlepoint, and sewing. We had the best time!

My friend’s husband died of a massive heart attack 8 years ago at the age of 54, leaving her with triplets who all have disabilities, including one daughter who is profoundly mentally disabled, being 20 years old and functioning like a 3-year-old child. The triplets were born at 28 weeks gestation, and the more disabled one, Laura, weighed a little over a pound. Sadly, she had a stroke, which can happen to the smallest-weight babies. The doctors told my friend that she and her husband should “pull the plug” on Laura because she would never be able to walk or talk.

Being Christians and parents who tried for 12 years to have children (3 miscarriages), they told the doctors they would take what God gives, and Laura did walk and talk by three years old.

She is still serviced by the local high school’s special education department, despite turning 21 years old soon, but she doesn’t know how to read. My daughter Beth brought a library book and sat next to Laura, asking her to please read it. The look on Laura’s face broke my heart. She seems like a happy young lady, don’t get me wrong, but I wonder if she wishes she could read?

Lastly, this family is rather poor, living in a trailer. They are forgotten by the world, but dearly loved by our Holy God.

What’s so wonderful to me is that my new friend needed a friend, as much as I needed someone who could teach me and my children (yes, even the boys want to learn) how to knit and create beautiful things.

She needed more than a friend, actually. She needed another whole family to fellowship with, laugh with, and share burdens with.  She needed a family who also has little money, so as not to embarrass her with invitations and outings she can’t afford, or with great stylish outfits, compared to her simple, worn, thrifted clothes. Someone who would make a wholesome meal and say: come as you are and gather at our table. (My friend is not a cook and appreciates someone serving her a homemade meal).

My son Peter, who has the more severe OCD compared to Paul, has often lamented that no one understands him…and yet my friend? She has OCD; she understands.

The less disabled of the daughters is going to a two-year college to become a vet tech. She has some cerebral palsy (but I certainly didn’t detect it), and a learning disability that affects her comprehension. She will take six years to finish a two-year program, because she can’t handle a full college load. Still, she is earning all A’s, two classes at a time.

Peter struggles with dysgraphia and it will do him good to have a friend who understands that you can be smart, but need more time than others, and that’s okay…it’s nothing to be ashamed of.

The Body of Christ: sometimes it’s a disappointment, isn’t it? Sometimes there is just no one there who understands or has time, or who will refrain from judgment.

Sometimes it can seem like even God isn’t there, and this is the time for real faith. This is the time to remember that to the Lord, a thousand years is as a day.

2 Peter 3:8-9 But do not overlook this one fact, beloved, that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day. The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.

In God’s timing, we are filled. Praise Him!

Homeschool and Mother's Journal Jan 3

In my life this week:

It's Friday, ending four days of school this week. The last of the typing lessons and math lessons are done, and at least my part of school is also complete, so the computer appears to be mine for a time before I start dinner.

As I type, the dryer screeches horribly. It's been three weeks now we've handled this unwelcome noise. Did I mention we do 3-4 loads a day?

Sometimes I feebly shout, "Thank you, God, for the squeak in my life!", and it will stop squeaking for the duration of the cycle. More often this does not work, and only a ball-bearing replacement operation will get us entirely out of our misery. But since this is an older, used dryer, we will probably just get a new, older, used dryer.

I wish I could say the dryer is it around here for broken things, but that would be wishful thinking. My husband hates two things with every fiber of his being: grocery shopping and home repairs. If we could afford new things, this wouldn't be a problem. Some of you, whose husbands love to tinker, are possibly driven a little crazy by him constantly tearing up the house to make "improvements". I sympathize with your plight, too.

Instead of crying about brokenness in its many forms (OCD currently being the worst form of brokenness around here) I look for the symbolism. Every day throughout the day, I'm on a hunt for symbolism. My reservoir of strength and long-suffering is vast, as long as I see purpose. God truly does order our lives down to the minute details, and that means everything has purpose. He doesn't order abuse, crime, disease, or disorders, but he uses them. We may want happiness most of all, but God wants us refined most of all. We're in training as Christians, and we cannot fail; the Lord promises to finish the work he started in us.

Hallelujah.

And He grieves with us. We can't ever forget that part...that we have Jesus...Immanuel...God-With-Us. If Christmas does nothing else for the long-time Believer, let it highlight that one word...Immanuel.

In Our Homeschool This Week:

We started back up the day after Christmas. With ADHD in the mix it's best to keep things routine. All four children are making steady progress, but what's true about mothering is true about homeschooling: The days are long but the years are short. 

The days are really long.

You've probably noticed that we don't do learning activities in our homeschool that appear neat and innovative. The truth is, the kids do all those things in their free time. I remember reading on Sonlight's website that if you like a bunch of hands-on projects, Sonlight Homeschool Curriculum is not for you. They believe, like I do, that kids will do all the hands-on learning on their own. Learning through play is natural for children, and we need not micromanage their inventions and experiments. Our part is to stay out of the way, and encourage them by not complaining about their messes. We must give them room and license to discover, and not take up their precious time with busy work.

We're still reading John Piper's Advent resource. Peter said, the first time I picked it up after Christmas, "But it's not Christmas anymore." Husband and I both responded, "Every day is Christmas."



The boys are reading Water Sky, by Jean Craighead George. Ms. George has written many books, usually centered around nature (she was raised in a family of naturalists). Julie of the Wolves won her a Newbery Medal, and My Side of the Mountain won her a Newbery Honor. Her author page at Scholastic is here.



Water Sky, strangely, has a grade-level equivalent of 7.2, but a Lexile of 730, which is quite low. The discrepancy must speak about the emotional concepts being more difficult to comprehend than the vocabulary itself. Definitely one for parents to pre-read. So far, Peter's a big fan of this book, but that might change with the sad ending. One thing I've noticed about authors who take their craft seriously? They don't always go for the ending the reader wants. Good endings sell, but they don't always speak something valid about the human condition.

I didn't care for the publisher synopsis of this book, so I'm using a synopsis left on Sonlight's site by a 13-year-old homeschool boy. You can find it here.

“Water Sky” by Jean Craighead George allows readers to picture the life of a foreigner trying to prove himself as a real and true Eskimo. This story takes place in Barrow, Alaska, where a boy named Lincoln Noah Stonewright comes to Alaska to find his long lost Uncle Jack who came to Alaska two years before and was never heard from again. With the help of Vincent Ologak, Kusiq, Little Owl and many others, Lincoln must try to prove himself worthy by trying to kill a whale. But it is not an easy task; many Eskimos despise foreigners and Lincoln goes through a hard time, constantly facing dangers at every turn -like Tigluk, who vowed to kill Lincoln and destroy his life. This is a book of struggles, hardship, adventure, suspense, friendship, sorrow and danger. In my opinion, this is one of my favourite books among my homeschooling readers. I am truly fascinated by how the author expresses the lifestyle of the Eskimos through her experiences in Alaska. This book not only has an exciting storyline but also contains a lot of factual information that can give readers an insight into the lives of the Eskimos. I am mind-boggled by how Eskimos can make use of every part of an animal or a natural resource. They never waste any part of anything they kill nor pollute the environment. This is a truly awesome book and I recommend this book, especially to young people. BY: NOAH LEE 13.

In early elementary news: Mary, first grade, is moving right along, and showing real strength in spelling. Her reading is going well, but I've found I have to push her to gain fluency. She encounters new words every sentence now, and after she sounds them out, she takes this momentary mental break, as though there's a period after every word. Her word-attack skills are developed enough now that I think this breaking is a habit, more than a necessity. I purposely try to move her along, not allowing her to indulge in these "breaks". The slower the fluency, the harder it is for them to make inferences or mental predictions about what the next word will likely be, eventually affecting their comprehension.

Beth just turned five and I'm trying to work with her more consistently. She is sounding out her first words, and I noticed right away that she's less a phonetic reader than her sister, and more a big-picture reader, using different cues (not just picture cues) to attack the text up front. I started her in the kindergarten readers that come with the Sing Spell Read Write K-1 combo curriculum.

One more thing about Mary, first grade: She's a methodical reader, and that has tested my resolve to let each child develop as God created them. I prayed, I believed, I waited, and I think we're now moving away from the hard part of beginning reading. 

Paul is a whiz at math and loves it, but Peter and Mary struggle with it. I predict Beth won't have any difficulty with it. She seems to be a natural, like Paul. Teaching Textbooks will work for all my children and that pleases me exceedingly, because those two guys are great teachers. They still only have material starting at 3rd grade, probably because the young ones need hands-on materials. 

What I'm grateful for:

~ Lots of new snow to delight the children. It's been too cold to be out this week, but this weekend the temperatures will be better for play and snowman-building.

~ Encouraging friends

~ Loving husband

~ A friend coming to teach us to knit 

~ Immanuel

~ Lots of brokenness to refine our characters and straighten our Christian walks.

~ The molasses cookies Peter made

~ Baked Potato Soup (Keep meaning to type that recipe here, but no time today.)

Time to start the chicken and rice. My children absolutely love plain brown rice, cooked 45 minutes in water, butter and a bit of salt. They even fight over the leftovers and enjoy them for snack time. So funny. I told them some people eat the leftovers with milk and raisins and brown sugar, but they haven't warmed up to that idea yet.

Quote to Share: How about a whole Psalm? An amazing Psalm.

Psalm 66

1Shout for joy to God, all the earth!

2Sing the glory of his name;

make his praise glorious.

3Say to God, “How awesome are your deeds!

So great is your power

that your enemies cringe before you.

4All the earth bows down to you;

they sing praise to you,

they sing the praises of your name.”^a

5Come and see what God has done,

his awesome deeds for mankind!

6He turned the sea into dry land,

they passed through the waters on foot—

come, let us rejoice in him.

7He rules forever by his power,

his eyes watch the nations—

let not the rebellious rise up against him.

8Praise our God, all peoples,

let the sound of his praise be heard;

9he has preserved our lives

and kept our feet from slipping.

10For you, God, tested us;

you refined us like silver.

11You brought us into prison

and laid burdens on our backs.

12You let people ride over our heads;

we went through fire and water,

but you brought us to a place of abundance.

13I will come to your temple with burnt offerings

and fulfill my vows to you—

14vows my lips promised and my mouth spoke

when I was in trouble.

15I will sacrifice fat animals to you

and an offering of rams;

I will offer bulls and goats.

16Come and hear, all you who fear God;

let me tell you what he has done for me.

17I cried out to him with my mouth;

his praise was on my tongue.

18If I had cherished sin in my heart,

the Lord would not have listened;

19but God has surely listened

and has heard my prayer.

20Praise be to God,

who has not rejected my prayer

or withheld his love from me!

Have a blessed weekend, friends.

New Year's Resolution: Just One

The New Year is not so big a deal for busy mothers. Every day is the same in terms of chores, 365 days a year. There's still laundry, changing sheets, wiping down wet or dirty bathrooms, making three meals and doing loads of dishes.

Today, New Year's Day, my husband was home the entire day, which is rare.

Halfway through the day, he said to me, "Aren't you ever going to sit down?"

The truth? The minute I sit down I get more behind, so I only sit down to read to the kids, have a meal and devotions with them, or do a lesson with them. I even check e-mail and read a blog here and there, standing up before my desktop computer, which one of the boys will surely need for school momentarily. When all are in bed, that's my time to sit...after the dishes are done and the last load put in the dryer.

Anyway, I guess my husband doesn't notice these things usually. The truth is, he only sits down to play chess with Paul or a game with another child. Otherwise, he's helping or taking the kids to the park for an hour, weather permitting.

So...New Year's Eve? What did I do to celebrate a day that, sans marriage and children, used to be very important to me?

After the kids went to bed, I read 1 John chapters 1-4, while my husband called his father in Florida. I was in bed by 11:00 PM.

Like most writers, I try to come up with something inspirational for the first post of the new year. But this year the old brain was short on ideas and overwhelmed with chores.

I picked up my Bible last night, specifically looking for something inspirational for my own private new year.

What is it you want from me this year, Lord?

As I read the first three chapters of 1 John, what came to me was this: "As Christians, it's not okay for us to dislike anyone in our churches, or in our Christian circles."

1 John 2:7-11

(NRSV) Beloved, I am writing you no new commandment, but an old commandment that you have had from the beginning; the old commandment is the word that you have heard. Yet I am writing you a new commandment that is true in him and in you, because the darkness is passing away and the true light is already shining. Whoever says, “I am in the light,” while hating a brother or sister, is still in the darkness. Whoever loves a brother or sister lives in the light, and in such a person there is no cause for stumbling. But whoever hates another believer is in the darkness, walks in the darkness, and does not know the way to go, because the darkness has brought on blindness

Wow! That is huge, isn't it? Churches are full of sinners, ourselves included, and we're supposed to feel good will toward every single person there?

Yes. That's exactly what John is saying. We don't have to make every person we meet at church our new best friend, but we have to feel good will toward the whole lot of them.

Are you thinking, like I did, of a certain person at church you sorta dislike? Chances are, you dislike this person partially because he or she is different from you. When someone is different from us, we can develop a prejudice toward them, unbeknownst to our blind hearts.

The person I thought of was a mother, about 30 years old or younger, who doesn't put her children first. She sent her baby to the nursery for weeks, sick with bronchiolitis (probably caused by RSV; 50% of cases of bronchiolitis are RSV.) I assumed since she had him in the nursery, that he must not be shedding virus, but that was just false. I got a rapid chest cold 4 days after holding him for 30 minutes the Sunday before Christmas, and I never bring home a virus. I usually just catch those my children or husband bring home, but this time, I was the only one sick.

For eight weeks, starting at four months old, this baby has had chest retractions when he breathes, and he's been on a inhaler for many weeks, which is a serious medicine. In my opinion he belongs at home, trying to recover without worry about getting a second RSV virus (more than one virus causes RSV), or even a common cold.

This mother will also send her baby to the nursery still in his nighttime diaper, and ask me to change him and put on his day outfit. I love caring for babies, so I don't mind, but I'm embarrassed for her every time. Has she no pride or regard for her baby? She drove all the way to church (she doesn't live close) with the baby still in his nighttime diaper? She also sends a canister of formula and empty bottles, rather than preparing bottles ahead of time. I'd never mixed formula in my life, so I was at a loss and felt stupid asking her what to do.

Her other child comes to the nursery still eating a fast food breakfast, sometimes with uncombed hair. (Believe me, I know how hard it is to get multiple kids and myself ready for church, sometimes without my husband's help. He has to shovel snow at his work church before our own church service begins.)

Lastly, this young woman is not friendly, not warm, not grateful. Just stubborn and out to live her life the way it suits her. We never have altercations and I am very appreciative of my time with her sweet baby, and professional too, so she isn't aware of my feelings, but that doesn't mean it's okay for me to have these feelings of dislike, toward another Christian.

I make motherhood my whole life, and this woman tries to be a mother on the side, or so it seems. There's nothing I would rather do with my time, than be a mother. But this is not a universal feeling all mothers share, and I get that. This young lady is trying to have it all...two kids under three, and tying up schooling to be an occupational therapist, not to mention being a wife.

The Lord clearly said to me, "You may think you are walking in the light, but at least as concerns this woman, you are not."

Of course, I have no right to judge or dislike this young woman. I don't know much about her circumstances or her past life. I don't know if she battles depression and struggles when she's at home. Perhaps school loans will be due soon and she has no choice but to continue with school. I know basically nothing, and yet I judge. She may be nearly young enough to be my daughter, and certainly deserves some slack for youth. Shame on me.

The solution to our feelings of dislike toward fellow Christians? I think it's to put them at the very top of our prayer list. (We can also serve them with our time.) Have you noticed that it's rather hard to pray for someone you dislike? Rather than pray, we usually add up in our minds all the reasons we dislike the person. Then maybe, we'll spend one minute praying for them. Not very charitable, is it?

The Christian walk is nothing if not a journey. We don't ever arrive, because perfection awaits us in Heaven; the complete heart fix comes later, but for now, we have the Holy Spirit--the downpayment on our inheritance. When we read the Scriptures, something will always stand out that the Holy Spirit wants to work on in us. That's why it's so imperative that we are in the Scriptures daily.

No Scripture = no growth.

I don't know what the Holy Spirit's New Year's message was for you, but for me, it was definitely this:  to love well...my own family, and my Christian brethren.

I read the Matthew Henry commentary on the passage above, and posted it below for you. What I most like are the sentences in red:

He who is governed by such love approves his light to be good and genuine: He that loveth his brother (as his brother in Christ) abideth in the light, 1 John 2:10. He sees the foundation and reason of Christian love; he discerns the weight and value of the Christian redemption; he sees how neat it is that we should love those whom Christ hath loved; and then the consequence will be that there is no occasion of stumbling in him (1 John 2:10); he will be no scandal, no stumbling-block, to his brother; he will conscientiously beware that he neither induce his brother to sin nor turn him out of the way of religion, Christian love teaches us highly to value our brother’s soul, and to dread every thing that will be injurious to his innocence and peace. 3. Hatred is a sign of spiritual darkness: But he that hateth his brother is in darkness, 1 John 2:11. Spiritual light is instilled by the Spirit of grace, and one of the first-fruits of that Spirit is love; he then who is possessed with malignity towards a Christian brother must needs be destitute of spiritual light; consequently he walks in darkness (1 John 2:11); his life is agreeable to a dark mind and conscience, and he knows not whither he goes; he sees not whither this dark spirit carries him, and particularly that it will carry him to the world of utter darkness, because darkness hath blinded his eyes, 1 John 2:11. The darkness of regeneracy, evidenced by a malignant spirit, is contrary to the light of life; where that darkness dwells, the mind, the judgment, and the conscience will be darkened, and so will mistake the way to heavenly endless life. Here we may observe how effectually our apostle (John) is now cured of his once hot and flaming spirit. Time was when he was for calling for fire from heaven upon poor ignorant Samaritans who received them not, Luke 9:54. But his Lord had shown him that he knew not his own spirit, nor whither it led him. Having now imbibed more of the Spirit of Christ, he breathes out good-will to man, and love to all the brethren. It is the Lord Jesus that is the great Master of love: it is his school (his own church) that is the school of love. His disciples are the disciples of love, and his family must be the family of love.

Matthew Henry's Commentary

matthew-henry

Do you struggle with dislike for another Christian? What has helped turn your feelings around?