The Gospel of Married With Children

I'm not the fun parent; it's not me who makes sure the kids get to the park every week; not me who forsakes chores to play board games or otherwise entertain the kids. Since my husband works 54 hours a week (5 hours on Saturdays included), the kids entertain themselves mostly, and it's good for them to do so.

I read to them, cuddle with them, feed them, listen to them, and teach them.

My husband is the fun one, hands down. Not the always-laughing-tickling kind of fun, but the let's-amuse-ourselves-and-spend-time-together kind of fun, which almost always includes going outside. We have no entertainment budget so nature is our entertainer, along with the basketball hoop in the front yard. For two of my children, add art into that mixture.

If we could be flies on the walls in different homes, I suspect we'd find many parents who are opposites. Kids need both styles to flourish, and God knew what he was doing when he paired you with your spouse. As much as it may seem you're incompatible at times, that's probably far from true.

If we believe that God created marriage to reflect the Gospel--and I think he did--then it makes sense that marriage is both very hard and glorious. He also created it to produce and nurture children, in most cases, whether they be birth or adoptive children. So parenting partners are incredibly important to God; he takes the parenting business seriously and puts together the combination most likely to reflect the Gospel, so that our children can live it.

What does discipleship look like, exactly? How does it work in your home? Can you pinpoint how each spouse contributes, by God's design? Sometimes it can seem like it's not a paired effort, but when you look closely at who you both are, you'll find a complement, I suspect.

This month, our devotional schedule includes 4 days of Bible & prayer devotions with just Mommy in the morning, and 3 days of after-dinner Bible & prayer devotions with the whole family. It would be all whole-family devotions if Daddy got home earlier than 7 PM.

But discipleship is more than having regular devotions, and that fact is our greatest motivation for homeschooling. It's a lifetime endeavor, this discipling of children. The more time we have with them, the more we can do it effectively, for once they leave home the opportunities are fewer and the stakes are higher.

That's not to say you can't do it well if you don't homeschool. It's just that you have to regard the several hours before bed as very sacred, otherwise, and use them wisely as your window of opportunity, along with the weekends.

Being a quiet, reflective sort of person who's always thinking, I don't waste opportunities to impart wisdom. To give you a clearer picture, how about if I say my husband just lives, and I just think. As much as I hate creating such a boring picture of myself, I have to admit it's true. Most people who need or love to write would probably describe themselves as quiet and reflective. We like to figure life out, while other people just live it.

My husband disciples by his very living, while I put words to the lessons.

I take the opportunity of a dog who doesn't fetch sticks and balls, much to my son's disappointment, to say that someday your wife and kids will be missing something you'll feel you desperately need. But you have to love them anyway, generously, just as they are--not reminding them of what they aren't. Not constantly reflecting on what they aren't, but giving thanks for who they are.

Now my husband? His way, without even thinking about it, is to show love for me, despite my faults and idiosyncrasies. My children see him living the marriage gospel by loving me generously.

Again, my husband disciples by his very living, while I put words to the lessons. Children need both and that means having two parents, ideally, because where one of us is weak, the other is strong.

Without a gospel-reflecting foundation, our children go out into the world expecting excitement and/or success, not disappointment. But life is a never-ending series of both. Spiritual success entails dying to our own desires, when appropriate. Marriage and child-rearing are more about dying to ourselves, than about anything else. Getting along well in any interpersonal relationship is similar, though to a less-intense degree.

Reflecting the gospel entails accepting disappointment rather than fighting it. Growing up is growing in the ability to absorb disappointment without losing heart or gratitude.

Growing as a Christian is realizing that God is the perfect companion, the perfect lover, the perfect soul-filler. We must teach our children to accept no substitute. Teach them: don't get married or have children to fill something within yourself. That sets you up for failure. Do it for the Lord and with the Lord, knowing all the while that it will be full of disappointments.

The glorious part? Surely there's a glorious part? Emphatically, yes. That part comes out of the many daily acts of obedience and self-sacrifice. Marriage and child-rearing feel most glorious when God is at the center of them. The glorious feelings are a reward from a loving, faithful Heavenly Father who is pleased. When God is glorified, we get to share in it.

Now discontentment? What is that about? Most discontentment comes from the sinful part of us that's out for our own good. The more we look out for ourselves, the more discontented we are.

Don't fear that real-life gospel lessons are too heavy for children. Giving them the answers before they have the questions is good parenting. Your words and lessons will resonate over and again, year after year. When the problems of disappointment or discontentment arrive, they'll already know the folly of feeding them. They won't be blind-sighted by sin or obstacles you failed to prepare them for. Yes, they'll make mistakes, but the mistakes will only highlight your lessons, and strengthen them.

I think God had me sit down today to say three things:

1. Accept your marriage partner as God-given, and as a perfect compliment to your personality. Accept that marriage is not about you, but about God's glory. Accept the same about child-rearing. Accept that your rewards are divine, and come from your daily obedience.

2. Teach children to absorb disappointment well. Teach them that God is the answer to all their dilemmas, and that they should accept no substitute. Teach them that to marry and have children is to reflect God's glory, and that their contentedness shall be equal to their gratitude.

3. Pray your way through. Pray that your discipleship team efforts will include both living it and speaking it. Pray that you'll use your time with your children wisely, with God's glory as your goal.

Isaiah 26: 3 You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.

1 Corinthians 7:17 Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him. This is my rule in all the churches.


Proverbs 14:14 The backslider in heart will be filled with the fruit of his ways, and a good man will be filled with the fruit of his ways.

2 Corinthians 12:10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.


1 Timothy 6:6 Now there is great gain in godliness with contentment

James 4:8 Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

Philippians 3:7-8 But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ

Homeschool and Mother's Journal Mar. 28

In My Life This Week:

I've enjoyed watching my children fall more in love with our new dog, Rudy. Even Paul, who isn't an animal lover, makes sure he spends time with Rudy every day, though not as much as Mary or Peter, who cuddle with Rudy like he's their newborn, cherished baby.

One thing disappoints Peter, who is Rudy's main caretaker: Beagles do not fetch. Peter's had dreams for years of playing fetch with a canine best friend. When he researched Beagles, it just didn't come up. I think he just assumed that all dogs fetch, and my husband and I, not being animal lovers, had no idea to the contrary. 

I used Peter's disappointment to point out that someday there will be things he doesn't like about his wife and children, but nevertheless, he can't trade them in for a more attractive model. Loving people the way they are, not for what we want them to be, is about courage and self-sacrifice, and it's the difference between a legacy of love and a legacy of self-indulgence. Self-serving pursuits are usually a mirage that just lead to more emptiness.

I didn't think I'd ever say this about a dog, but I love Rudy too. You can't not love this dog. He's the sweetest little guy. He gets right up on our laps and looks deeply into our eyes, almost like he's silently saying "I love you". Then he tries to give us doggy kisses, which we've not taken a fancy to yet.

In Our Homeschool This Week:

Writing Notes: As much as my boys sometimes whine their way through writing, they have a flare with words and use good sentence structure, and they combine sentences well. I often tell them they're both good writers, and I give them specific examples from their work to back up my praise. It's been slow, but today I began to feel the praise efforts have paid off. "I know I fuss a lot about writing, Mommy, but I actually like it, and I even think I'm pretty good at it." 

Of course, our assignments this week may have something to do with that. When the written narration required of them comes from a fictional story (twice this week it was Beatrix Potter), then the whining is light or non-existent. But if they have to narrate something about the French Revolution, or about Joan of Arc, they feel inadequate and the whining starts.

Going to college later will entail both types of writing. They have to be able to respond to both fiction and non-fiction comfortably. In most college classes there are numerous writing assignments, including sometimes the entire final exam. I am so grateful to be using Susan Bauer's writing resources. I feel they'll prepare my children well for what lies ahead. I don't use the resources exactly as Susan directs--I make it harder--but I still do no prep work at all.

Cheapest buying place is at christianbook, rather than the Peace Hill Press website, which is owned by Susan Bauer and her mother, Jessie Wise Bauer.

Sonlight Core F notes: The boys are reading Teresa of Calcutta, finishing up India, and have started a book about Saudi Arabia called Ali and the Golden Eagle by Wayne Grover. Our Sonlight Core F package has us studying the middle east for the next few weeks.

Overview of Ali and the Golden Eagle:
An American working in Saudi Arabia befriends a boy from a remote village and helps him train an eagle to hunt.




Overview of Teresa of Calcutta: The inspiring and challenging story of Mother Teresa who, for more than 40 years sought to be "the arms of Christ" to the poorest of the poor in the slums of Calcutta.

An unlikely hero who went against the grain of our me-first culture.

Notes about our year: It's been a wonderful ride this year for all of us, learning about the eastern hemisphere for the first time, really. Every year of Sonlight I'm sorry to see the year end. For us, the only problem is that we run out of books before the year is over, so I have to find more on the same topics. We're down to a handful left.

Or perhaps this year I will start the World History Part 1 (Core G) package early, since we already have the complete set on hand.

Trade Books to Share:

No Monkeys, No Chocolate, a new, 2013 book by Melissa Stewart and Allen Young

Overview:

Everyone loves chocolate, right? But how many people actually know where chocolate comes from? How it’s made? Or that monkeys do their part to help this delicious sweet exist?

This delectable dessert comes from cocoa beans, which grow on cocoa trees in tropical rain forests. But those trees couldn’t survive without the help of a menagerie of rain forest critters: a pollen-sucking midge, an aphid-munching anole lizard, brain-eating coffin fly maggots—they all pitch in to help the cocoa tree survive. A secondary layer of text delves deeper into statements such as "Cocoa flowers can’t bloom without cocoa leaves . . . and maggots," explaining the interdependence of the plants and animals in the tropical rain forests. Two wise-cracking bookworms appear on every page, adding humor and further commentary, making this book accessible to readers of different ages and reading levels.

Back matter includes information about cocoa farming and rain forest preservation, as well as an author’s note.



Talk about living science books! This is wonderfully written. Very engaging and fascinating.

______________________________

Mumbet's Declaration of Independence by Gretchen Woelfle (Brand new, 2014 book)





Synopis: "All men are born free and equal." Everybody knows about the Founding Fathers and the Declaration of Independence in 1776. But the founders weren't the only ones who believed that everyone had a right to freedom. Mumbet, a Massachusetts slave, believed it too. She longed to be free, but how? Would anyone help her in her fight for freedom? Could she win against her owner, the richest man in town? Mumbet was determined to try. Mumbet's Declaration of Independence tells her story for the first time in a picture book biography, and her brave actions set a milestone on the road toward ending slavery in the United States.

______________________________

Edwardo The Horriblest Boy in the Whole Wide World by John Burningham





Overview: Edwardo is an ordinary boy who does his best to live up to grown-ups' expectations. So when they rant at him for being the clumsiest, noisiest, nastiest, cruelest, messiest, and dirtiest boy in the whole wide world, he becomes all those things with a vengeance, thus earning the title of the horriblest boy in the whole wide world. How Edwardo becomes the nicest boy in the whole wide world will be appreciated by ordinary little boys everywhere. John Burningham's amusing illustrations bring a lighthearted touch to the power of positive reinforcement.

This book is a wonderful reminder for every parent about choosing words carefully. They can speak so much life into our children's hearts, or so much heartache. The single most important parenting strength, in my opinion, is having sufficient control over our words.

______________________________

Grandmama's Pride by Becky Birtha




Kirkus Reviews:

Young African-American Sarah Marie travels by bus from her Northern home to the South to visit her proud grandmother, both before and after segregation. Her first-person narrative conveys wide-eyed wonder, and each of the superbly detailed watercolor illustrations is a short story in itself. Sarah Marie and her little sister experience the fun of making paper dolls and playing on a rope swing and sewing with Grandmama and their Aunt Marie, but also visit a lunch counter and bus station torn by segregation. When she returns a year later, the separate bus station bathrooms have been eliminated and Grandmama's public face changed from a proud scowl to a warm smile. Bittersweet nostalgia and a gentle introduction to an important and painful piece of our national past. A lengthy author's note gives the story a helpful historical context. (Picture book. 7-10)

This is one of the best books I've encountered about the pre-Civil Rights Law South. Bittersweet indeed. I cried the last half of the book. A wonderful living history book for your elementary students.

____________________________

Pictures for Miss Josie by Sandra Belton

Overview: This remarkable picture book tells the story of Josephine Carroll Smith (Miss Josie) and a young artist who, like many in real life, became one of her almost-sons. It's a story that starts with a train trip to a faraway city; it's a story about taking chances, and making friends, and believing in oneself.

Throughout her life Miss Josie was like a giant standing in front of the sun. Her achievements on the national stage were notable -- she was responsible for outlining the boundaries for the integration of the Washington, D.C., public schools. But it is her spirit and influence on a personal scale that this book celebrates. Miss Josie reminded the generations of young black men who walked through her door and stayed in her home to believe in themselves and all they could become. They did.

Illustrated with compelling collage paintings by fine artist Benny Andrews, Sandra Belton's intimate and inspirational story pays tribute to the much-loved Miss Josie.

When his father first takes him to meet Miss Josie, a young boy is somewhat intimidated by her, but through the coming years he comes to treasure her friendship and support and passes on his love of her to his own son. Based on the life of Josephine Carroll Smith.

I love this book because it reminds us to invest our hearts and lives into our young people, whether our own, our neighbor's, those in our church, those we sponsor, etc. Young people represent the future, yes, but they're also very important to Jesus, and what His heart bleeds for, ours must bleed for too. 

Homeschooling Advice to Share (literature versus skills):

It's so tempting to over teach, buying so much curriculum our heads spin. Knowing what to concentrate on is most of the battle, because clearly, we can't do it all well. 

Those who are parts-to-whole thinkers tend to emphasize the building blocks (skills), rather than the whole (a piece of literature). For example, they spend more time on grammar and related skills, than they do on putting many books into their children's hands and hearts, thinking that the books themselves can't do the teaching.

I have been teaching either first graders or my own children since 1991, and I can tell you that no matter the learning style, novels and picture books are outstanding teachers. Whatever skill work you assign, don't let it steal too much of your child's day (15 - 20 minutes is sufficient). Children should be reading an hour or more a day, and that doesn't include reading they do on skill worksheets. For younger children, break this hour up into 15 minute increments, if necessary. 

And parents should be reading to children at least 30 minutes a day, in addition to the reading the children do independently. I know it's hard to think that just reading is doing your child so much good, but time and again, I have seen this work...for every child.

Struggling readers may need more time, and they need the parent to read aloud more minutes each day, but don't assume that the slow progress means you need to invest in a bunch of skill-related curriculum. Be patient with your slower learners. Worrying or getting uptight with them is the worst thing we can do. They will get it with time, and with quality literature invested into their hearts and minds. The whole language of books is something our brains respond to strongly, but sometimes the payoff can take a few years. No one ever learned to talk by doing skills worksheets, and similarly, no one learns to read this way either. Language input = language output.

You know the child who utters few to no words before two, and then starts speaking in sentences? This is similar to the child who doesn't read independently by six or seven as expected, but soon after, they begin to read beautifully, and write well too. Trust me on this and get more books, not more worksheets. (I am no expert on dyslexia, but other learning disabilities are represented in my home, and worksheets have not helped. Literature has made all the difference.)

Our Gratitude List was shared in yesterday's Thankful Thursday post.

Quotes to Share About Children's Literature:

“A childhood without books – that would be no childhood. That would be like being shut out from the enchanted place where you can go and find the rarest kind of joy.”

― Astrid Lindgren

“Children's literature as a literary aberration or at best a minor amusement is a notion held most strongly by people who read the fewest children's books. I think it was Ruth Hill Viguers who compared this attitude with asking a pediatrician when he's going to stop fooling around and get down to the serious business of treating adults.”

― Lloyd Alexander

“In this modern world where activity is stressed almost to the point of mania, quietness as a childhood need is too often overlooked. Yet a child's need for quietness is the same today as it has always been--it may even be greater--for quietness is an essential part of all awareness. In quiet times and sleepy times a child can dwell in thoughts of his own, and in songs and stories of his own.”

― Margaret Wise Brown

“Oh, yes," nodded Pollyanna, emphatically. He [her father] said he felt better right away, that first day he thought to count 'em. He said if God took the trouble to tell us eight hundred times [in the Bible] to be glad and rejoice, He must want us to do it - SOME.”

― Eleanor H. Porter, Pollyanna

“Be generous with your smile and try not to frown.

And you will see my children; your smile will never let you down ☺”
― Benny Bellamacina, The King of Rhyme

“Come, my child," I said, trying to lead her away. "Wish good-bye to the poor hare, and come and look for blackberries."

"Good-bye, poor hare!" Sylvie obediently repeated, looking over her shoulder at it as we turned away. And then, all in a moment, her self-command gave way. Pulling her hand out of mine, she ran back to where the dead hare was lying, and flung herself down at its side in such an agony of grief as I could hardly have believed possible in so young a child.

"Oh, my darling, my darling!" she moaned, over and over again. "And God meant your life to be so beautiful!”
― Lewis Carroll, Sylvie and Bruno

“All their life in this world and all their adventures in Narnia had only been the cover and the title page: now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story, which no one on earth has read: which goes on for ever: in which

every chapter is better than the one before.”
― C.S. Lewis

Thank you for reading, and how was your week, friends?

 



Thankful Thursday Kids' Addition

 

 

What are you thankful for about your family?

 

Beth, age 5

~ My family are my friends and they like me.

~ They always smile at me.

~ Mary always loves me.

~ They're sensational.

 

Mary, age 7

~ They take care of my cuts.

~ I have a nice, cuddly, cute dog.

~ They give me good clothes.

~ They take care of me and teach me what I need to know.

 

Paul, age 10

~ They are loving people.

~ With a big family there is plenty of help and enough people to play games with me.

~ They are very nice and kind.

 

Peter, age 12

~ My mom and dad.

~ My siblings.

~ My dog.

~ I have lots of love.

 

What are you thankful for about your home or country?

 

Peter, age 12

~ My house

~ No earthquakes

~ No volcanoes

~ Loving family here

~ Freedom of religion

 

Paul, age 10

~ Safest country

~ No one starves here.

~ House is nice and big and comfortable.

~ Plenty of things to do--toys, books, games.

~ Safe home that keeps us warm. 

 

Mary, age 7

~ No tornadoes

~ No hurricanes

~ No mud slides

~ No rock slides

~ No volcanoes

~ Nice soft furniture

~ Nice toys and a soft carpet

 

Beth, age 5

~ It has what I want and need.

~ It has all my family, who are my friends.

 

What are you thankful for about God, or about being a Christian?

 

Beth, age 5

~ You smile when you're a Christian (My little girl is a big smiler, and loves other smilers. Even at age 5, she wakes up next to me every morning, throws her sleepy arms around me, smiles right in my face, and tells me I'm the bestest mommy ever. She is a balm to my soul.).

~ God is nice and he helps us.

~ He loves us and cares about us.

 

Mary, age 7

~ He helps me through tough times.

~ He loves me.

~ He gave me good bushes to catch crickets, tree frogs, and a yard with toads and frogs.

 

Paul, age 10

~ I know God.

~ No worries about Hell.

~ God loves me.

~ I go to church and feel happy about it.

~ I go to AWANA.

 

Peter, age 12

~ God's will

~ God's love

~ Going to Heaven

 

Momma says...

~ I am thankful for a loving husband, for homeschooling, for cooking with my children, for watching my children enjoy each other, for devotions with my family, for our dog and how the children love him, for our Compassion children, for God's Holy Word and the way it heals, straightens, strengthens, and fills.





 

No-Bake Cookies

One of our penpals sent this delicious no-bake cookie recipe. It's fast, easy, and it will quickly become a favorite at your house.

Ingredients

3 T. cocoa
2 cups granulated sugar
1/2 stick of butter or margarine
1/2 cup milk
1/2 cup peanut butter (creamy or crunchy)
2 3/4 cups quick oats

Procedure

In a small saucepan, add the cocoa, sugar, butter and milk. Stir well and bring to a boil. Boil for one minute. Remove from heat. Add peanut butter and oats. Stir well. Drop by tablespoon onto waxed paper, let cool. (I don't buy waxed paper, so we usually set them on foil and it works just fine.)

They harden and cool quickly. Oh, how mouthwatering they are!

Understanding God's Ways

Daily I'm confronted with two wayward souls, never satisfied, always pining for that one thing they perceive to be the answer. For one, it's living in the west where the weather is good, and having more money. For another, it's the perfect pet and money for all his hobbies--gardening, nature observation, nature experiments. Now that he has a dog, he thinks a bearded dragon lizard is the answer (today, anyway). The dog was supposed to be the end-all and completely satisfy his soul, though I warned as I do almost daily, that only the Lord satisfies the soul's longings. 

These beloved men in my life want that to be true for them, but the brain chemicals aren't listening and none of us know what to do. Lecturing about what's important in life is definitely not working. In fact, it only leads to more frustration because the control is not there.

And I'll say again, I don't know the answer. Both of them have stellar, well-balanced diets--the best diets in the family, partially because there are few things they don't like. So food is probably not the brain-chemical culprit, but I'm praying that God reveals any solution to me, whether it's the hormones in the meat we're sold, or the pesticides in the produce we're sold. Anything. I'm desperate for improvement in our daily life.

While working in the church nursery today, I cared for a two-year-old boy who is the grandson of my good friend--the good friend who had to give her 15-year-old son over to the State because he became too dangerous and defiant for her to manage, after her husband's death ten years ago. Her son had it all--ADHD, OCD, Tourette's, anxiety, autism, bipolar. She had triplets--two girls and a boy--and all of them have problems, her son being the worst off behaviorally. One of the triplets is a dear soul, who at the age of 21 is like a four-year-old child, though extremely calm and serene (the doctors told my friend to pull the plug on this one-pound baby, who would never amount to anything because of the stroke she suffered early). Another of the triplets goes to college, but has learning disabilities, mild cerebral palsy, mild OCD, and ADHD.

I love my friend and deeply admire that she's still standing, after having absorbed more of the sin curse than most of us could even fathom. Her triplets were born after three miscarriages. Besides the child-bearing difficulties, she has disorders of her own, and she grew up with a mentally unstable mother. Later, in her mid-forties, she was left a widow to care for four children alone, three of whom were equal to at least seven children, emotionally and physically (they all had seizures for years).

To say the two-year-old grandson is a handful is putting it lightly (the son of her non-triplet daughter). He engaged with the new-to-him toys in the nursery for 15 minutes, then kept us on our toes for the next 80 minutes, with defiance, hyperactivity, and destructiveness. We've cared for lots of two-year-old boys, but none like this.

As soon as my family was safe in our van after church, my tears flowed. I held in my shock well, but I couldn't any longer. How could God plague another generation of this dear family with mental/neurological disorders? Hasn't the family endured enough? Must the terrible, inheritable conditions of the brain keep on going?

Where is the grace in that? Where is the relief? Only that my friend is still standing and breathing? I imagine it's incredibly hard to watch her adult daughter struggle so with her son--much like my friend struggled with her own son at this age.

I tried so hard all day to understand God, even as I stared at the hole my own son put in his wall during the hellish week we endured (Strattera was increased to 18 mg five weeks ago, which needs to be taken back down to 10 mg to stop this anger side-effect) .

At the end of the day, emotionally exhausted, I came to a conclusion.

The sin curse is not equally represented in every household. In households with everyday struggles, rather than monumental struggles, it's easy to fall prey to judgement and puff up with pride.

Well, if only those other people had better nutrition, or didn't take drugs during pregnancy, or exercised their kids more, or cut out dairy, gluten, and sugar, and took away the TV more...blah, blah, blah. If only they were more responsible, they wouldn't have to live like that.

Our minds easily fall into judgement and pride as we try to understand the depth of human suffering around us. Placing blame somehow makes it easier to comprehend?

What is God asking of us? What does he expect from those who have it relatively easy? What does he expect from those who have the sin curse weighing on them so heavily, they can barely stand up?

Some of what God wants is the same for both parties:

~ Give thanks in all things.

~ Judge not, lest you be judged.

~ Don't grow weary in doing good.

~ Fight the good fight of the faith.

~ Be holy, as I am holy.

~ Remain in Me as I also remain in you.

~ Love your neighbor.

But more is required from some.

Luke 12:48 But the one who does not know and does things deserving punishment will be beaten with few blows. From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.

Just as God expects the rich to help the poor, he expects the mentally-fortunate to help the mentally-unfortunate. Usually, mentally-unfortunate people are poor. Their poverty stems from many causes, not the least of which are mental deficits.

Poverty has other, less-serious causes, too. Sometimes, people just haven't had a break from generational poverty--no opportunities, nutrition, education, hope--like with our Compassion children, but their mental potential is great. They just need a boost to get jump-started.

But in many other cases, even with a jump-start, there are mental conditions that must be endured for a lifetime, that will hold a person back, depending on the severity. Modern medicine helps with some mental conditions, but medical progress has been slowest, it seems, in the area of mental illness. Understandably, the brain is hardest to understand and alter. We have great strides to make in the world, in terms of understanding and treating mental illness.

If your family is free of mental illness, reach out. Share your wholeness with those who are less whole.

~ Prayer is the most important thing you can do. Pray for daily grace, healing, stamina.

~ Be cautious and pray for wisdom before you help, so that when you act, you are truly helping.

~ Offer to lighten the load in some way.

~ Be brave and non-judgmental. When we judge, it is really our own cowardice coming through. We have to seek to understand, and that takes patience and courage.

~ Sponsor a child and write to him or her, so you can stop the cycle of poverty. Speak life into your sponsor child's heart through your letters. Sponsoring a child is orphan prevention. Lack of hope is a terrible thing, leading to terrible outcomes, both mentally and physically. Stop that in its tracks. Change a life, a family, a neighborhood, a village, by sponsoring one child.

In my searching of God's heart, I remembered something Big.

I think God reconciles the hurt in the world by knowing what's coming. Judgement Day. We serve a just God, though we can't always see it right now. We will be held accountable for how we handled the gifts he allowed in our life--whether they be mental gifts, spiritual gifts, monetary gifts. We all have gifts, and we are called to use them for the Glory of God. We can't bury them in the sand, hoping they'll bare fruit and multiple.

So don't just feel fortunate if your life is better than some. Do something about it. Take on more of the weight of the sin curse by loving your suffering neighbor. No, I don't mean enabling them. If you suspect drug or alcohol abuse, pray hard and tread carefully. You can research how drug and alcohol rehabs are paid for, what insurances they take, make a list of some in your area, and then give that information. And pray that God pushes them to the edge, so they can see the light.

Look for opportunities to bless. Pray for opportunities to bless. Read Scripture so you are filled to overflowing, equipped to bless. And then act accordingly. 

I don't know what God will do on the last day. I don't know how crowns in Heaven are given out, and to whom, but I know what I want Him to say to me when my time has come.

"Well done, good and faithful servant."

I want to honor Him with my life, not wasting a second of the Gift.

Note: My husband never minds if I write about him, for if someone is helped, he is glad. He isn't a blog reader and prefers people interaction to quiet reflection, but he understands my need to write out my pain and path. 

My son, however, is coming upon an age where he may begin to care, so even though this is an anonymous blog, I should remain silent going forward. But please, we always covet your prayers, whether I speak of the hard fight nor not. Thank you and bless you, and let us know if you need prayer.