but it is good, no?

This Mommy is at the end of herself.  Nothing I've planned  is coming to fruition, in terms of baking to bless others, and getting the house spiffy and comfy for Christmas.

Each child has consuming issues right now.

Grace.

When I get to the end of myself, He carries me.  

Slows me down.

I give it all to Him readily because is there any other choice?  Keeping the joy means giving Him the angst.

Beth is on a second round of antibiotics for a UTI--my first child to have one.  I always wipe her properly as I've done all the others.  I just don't understand why this is happening.  No family history of diabetes and if it were a congenital problem, she would've had trouble before now.

Unfortunately, the antibiotics upset her tummy and cause looser stool, which in turn makes it harder for bacteria to stay out of the urethra.  Sorry for the detailed unpleasantness, but I'm discouraged!  This second antibiotic tastes badly--just getting her to take it depletes much energy.  She had a coughing fit this morning and spit it all up.  And the pharmacy said, of course, you'll have just enough.

Today, day one of a cold for Beth.  More reason to sleep poorly and keep Momma red-eyed.

The more children under your roof, and the closer their ages, the more you say goodbye to your own agenda.  I'm still getting used to it--this lack of control, this utter reliance on grace.

But it is good, no?  Children bless in unexpected ways.

What better way to grow in depth and fortitude, than to need to love more deeply--selflessly--everyday?