Children Are Natural Learners

It all started when Mary found a canvas binocular bag, complete with velcro closer and a shoulder strap. Her mind began working. What can I use this for?

Soon, she asked, "Mommy, can I be a newspaper deliverer when I grow up?"

After hearing my answer in the affirmative, she set about "designing" a newspaper to put into her bag.

Later I heard tears of frustration from very focused, very determined, almost-five-year-old Mary.

Unable to help--I'd already delayed my shower for other kid-related reasons--I enlisted Paul's help. "Please help Mary design a newspaper. She wants to make newspapers so she can deliver them."

Paul responded, reluctantly at first. Then his own mind began working.

Out of the shower, I found all four children designing newspapers. Thrilled, I commended them for including ads, since that was one way newspapers and magazines generate revenue.  Hearing that, they each cut ads out of a mail circular. Next, they glued them down and surrounded them with made-up headlines. (Miss Beth just practiced with her scissors. Thankfully, she doesn't get frustrated with how little she can do, compared to her siblings. She's just happy they welcome her).

"Fall is here!"

"New exhibits at the Cleveland Zoo!"

"Basketball this season will be in the house"

"Carriage and Wagon Rides 2 Cents"

"Free Help With AWANA Verses"

"Mr. Poller Comes Out of Hospital"

"Mr. Goodrich is 100 Years Old"

"A Parade is Coming on the 19th"

"Good Year Tire Factories Now Open!"

"Bulb Ads Coming March 2012"

"Bug Supply Ads Coming January 2012"

Newspapers were all the rage here for about an hour. I dutifully marked "writing" off both boys' daily school lists.

Later they asked, "Who marked my "writing" column?" (They usually do their own marking)

I responded. "I did."

"But I didn't do writing yet." 

I went to get their newspapers and showed them their "writing".

I love this about free time. My children often use it for learning-related schemes, never realizing it. 

In fact, the more I observe children, the more I realize that imagination unlocks so much of their potential.

The case against over-scheduling and teaching to the test has never been stronger in my mind. Children are natural learners. 

Serving them well, preparing them well for the future, means we must be primarily facilitators. 

- We must give them time to create.

- We must ensure that a variety of materials are always available (paper, glue, magazines, newspapers, paint, ink, markers, etc.), or allow them to innovate--even if it's messy. 

- We must encourage them by delighting in their work.

- We must use their creative works to evaluate their learning, and then target lessons to address weaknesses. 

They may demonstrate knowledge on a test right after studying, but if it doesn't transfer to their creative works, the concepts aren't quite mastered--they aren't second nature yet. Tests are one tool to evaluate learning, but the best way is to observe students create. What can they really do? Do they instinctively know where to go for information? Can they problem-solve? Can they innovate? Can they work with a partner--combining their strengths....supplementing their weaknesses?

Observing my kids and watching them grow, I'm so thankful for homeschooling. Only the one-room schoolhouse can duplicate, to some extent, what I can do in my home. 

photo credit

The Prayer Warrior Life: When Words Won't Come

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When it became clear that Beth had arthritis and not an injury, I stood strong for a few days, and then fell into a pit of grief. And I couldn't pray. Words wouldn't come, though I could kiss her knees, or touch her knees, and plead with the Lord in my spirit.  My husband experienced the same thing.


We'd been silenced before, in 2000 and in 2005, with miscarriages. No words, just tears and blank stares, groans of the spirit, and needing to be held by the Lord.


We all experience things in this life that silence us for a time, and for the prayer warrior, it can be challenging to jump into disciplined prayer again, after a time away.


Like so many things in the Christian life, we must do it out of obedience. Obedience is a powerful way we can worship God.


Whether it is reading the Bible regularly, praying, helping the poor, raising our children to fear the Lord, telling others about Jesus, staying with an annoying or sinful spouse.....whatever. Sometimes it's easy, sometimes hard, but we do it as an act of worship. We just do it.


Our level of obedience, our level of worship, will be judged someday, and there will be rewards in heaven for a steadfast love for our Savior.


If you've walked away from prayer, go back. Remember your first love. Jesus.


And be blessed.


"I would rather train twenty men to pray, than a thousand to preach; A minister's highest mission ought to be to teach his people to pray." -H. MacGregor


Prayer does not fit us for the greater work, prayer is the greater work. --Oswald Chambers


There is not in the world a kind of life more sweet and delightful than that of a continual conversation with God. --Brother Lawrence


Our ordinary views of prayer are not found in the New Testament. We look upon prayer as a means for getting something for ourselves; the Bible idea of prayer is that we may get to know God Himself. --Oswald Chambers


Tell God all that is in your heart, as one unloads one's heart, its pleasures and its pains, to a dear friend. Tell God your troubles, that God may comfort you; tell God your joys, that God may sober them; tell God your longings, that God may purify them; tell God your dislikes, that God may help you conquer them; talk to God of your temptations, that God may shield you from them: show God the wounds of your heart, that God may heal them. If you thus pour out all your weaknesses, needs, troubles, there will be no lack of what to say. Talk out of the abundance of the heart, without consideration say just what you think. Blessed are they who attain to such familiar, unreserved intercourse with God. --Francois Fenelon


Why is it so important that you are with God and God alone on the mountain top? It's important because it's the place in which you can listen to the voice of the One who calls you the beloved. To pray is to listen to the One who calls you "my beloved daughter," "my beloved son," "my beloved child." To pray is to let that voice speak to the center of your being, to your guts, and let that voice resound in your whole being. --Henri Nouwen


We hear it said that a man will suffer in his life is he does not pray; I question it. What will suffer is the life of the Son of God within him, which is nourished not by food but by prayer...Prayer is the way the life of God is nourished. --Oswald Chambers


The Church has not yet touched the fringe of the possibilities of intercessory prayer. Her largest victories will be witnessed when individual Christians everywhere come to recognize their priesthood unto God and day by day give themselves unto prayer. --John R. Mott


The Church is looking for better methods; God is looking for better men. The Holy Ghost does not flow through methods, but through men. He does not come on machinery, but on men. He does not anoint plans, but men…Men of prayer." --E. M. Bounds


We lean to our own understanding, or we bank on service and do away with prayer, and consequently by succeeding in the external we fail in the eternal, because in the eternal we succeed only by prevailing prayer. --Oswald Chambers


When a Christian shuns fellowship with other Christians, the devil smiles. When he stops studying the Bible, the devil laughs. When he stops praying, the devil shouts for joy. --Corrie Ten Boom


Is the Son of God praying in me, or am I dictating to Him?....Prayer is not simply getting things from God, that is a most initial form of prayer; prayer is getting into perfect communion with God. If the Son of God is formed in us by regeneration, He will press forward in front of our common sense and change our attitude to the things about which we pray. --Oswald Chambers


Is prayer your steering wheel or your spare tire?-- Corrie Ten Boom


I have been driven many times to my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had absolutely no other place to go. -- Abraham Lincoln


Some people pray just to pray and some people pray to know God. --Andrew Murray


More prayer quotes here.


To read more of my prayer journey, check out Into a Life of Prayer: A Journey Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7

To read even more, check out The Prayer Warrior Life part 1; part 2; part 3; part 4; part 5, part 6, Part 7, 8, 9, 10

A sweet friend, Amy, wrote guests posts for us, telling of her prayer journey: Vol. 1, and Vol. 2, and Vol. 3, Vol. 4, Vol. 5

Author's Corner, James Warhola: If You're Happy And You Know It

Nothing delights two-year-old Beth like the song, "If You're Happy And You Know It". Spontaneously, she breaks into her favorite part, "If you're happy and you know it, do all three." Next you see her clapping, stomping and lifting her hands to proclaim, "Hooray!".

Perusing library shelves, I found a jungle edition of the classic song, written and illustrated by James Warhola.



What a giggle-filled workout!  There are ten hilarious motions:

- clap your hands
- stomp your feet
- scratch your fur
- give a roar
- flap your wings
- laugh out loud
- beat your chest
- jump up high
- crawl around
- blink your eyes
- do all ten

My little girl is the happiest child on the planet reading and acting out this hilarious book! Lots of jungle friends act out the motions at the playground, along with a couple unsuspecting kids.

Please, check it out! You need a good laugh today.

James Warhola, prolific illustrator, is the nephew of Andy Warhol. One of Warhola's books is about his famous uncle:



Read more about his work in children's literature here.

Grace and Damage Control

In case yesterday's post depressed you, I wanted to add a few quick positive thoughts.

I used to write between 10:00 PM and 1:00 AM, when my husband worked nights. It gave me time to delve into long topics, especially those that required research or reading. I simply can't do that very often now. It would horrify my husband to find his wife sitting at the computer every night. I need to actively avoid that folly.

So forgive the poor editing and lack of thought put into any partial nighttime, partial daytime posts. They must be fast and furious.

The possibility that we're making the same mistakes we resented our own parents for, is depressing. But a few things come to mind regarding damage repair and perspective.

Perspective

First, I recall a time when I had a very difficult student, in the year 1999-2000. My body and mind exuded stress. So much so, that I couldn't seem to get a lunch prepared the night before work, and I found myself frequenting a fast food restaurant during my lunch hour--always the drive thru. One day--one of my worst days--a fast food worker commented that I was always so happy, and how did I manage it?

I've told this story before, so forgive me for the repetition, but I think it illustrates the power and reign of the Holy Spirit in our bodies and lives. He decides what gets presented to the world. No, that doesn't mean we can be nasty and not suffer consequences, but it does mean there's always a softening and a grace administered by the Holy Spirit--especially when we're experiencing a trial (particularly trials not brought on by our own mistakes).

If you're ashamed of your behavior, remember that when trials come, so does grace.

Damage Control


My children recently cracked a library DVD, and after being lectured for that, continued, in the same week, to leave others out without cases. Also, we wasted time this same week looking for misplaced items. These circumstances left me concluding that my children weren't growing in maturity and responsibility. Hence, they got an earful that week. And a consequence.

Did I lecture them gracefully, mercifully?  No. My frustration and stress--all encouraged by Satan--won. (No, I didn't cuss at them--don't get a horror picture in your head.)

Did I, at the time, remember all the good things they do? No. Again, Satan's tactics won.

After repenting and asking for their forgiveness (without giving excuses), I set about controlling the damage. For every negative interaction, we have to increase the amount of positive interaction--not in a manipulative or contrived way, however, and not in a way that makes it seem like their behavior was acceptable.

Some ideas:

- Spend time painting or drawing or coloring with them ( in the same few days after a blow up)

- Write a nice note detailing all the reasons you're proud of them.

- Bake something with them, or read extra books.

- Take a walk, a bike ride, or make time for the park.

- Set aside a time every day, whether tuck-in time, or daytime rocking chair time, to speak love and encouragement into your children--each one separately. We should do this in good times and in bad--it should be a regular part of our parenting. Traditions like this are remembered and treasured. And, they can make up for other poorer parenting techniques. Love covers a multitude of sins.

I find it helpful to make myself a checklist of parenting/caretaking techniques and posting it somewhere like the fridge. Did I make time each day to cuddle, to cut fruit, to read stories, to just talk? Without such a list, I don't practice intentional parenting and my kids could go two days without fresh fruit for lunch or snack, or two days without a daytime story. It's far too easy to practice reactive parenting, especially when you're swamped.

Keeping outings at a minimum helps us practice intentional parenting. I find that when we have two whole days at home, consecutively, the week goes smoother. I don't get behind on chores, and my mind and body are more relaxed. My to-do list isn't overflowing.

The more we leave the house, the worse our parenting is, in some respects. We can't be hermits, but there's a delicate balance.

As much as kids think they like a lot going on, it's worth considering that time at home enhances creativity and fosters relaxation and bonding.

- The quieter children are more likely to grow up with resentments--the children who aren't trouble makers or consistently high maintenance. Be sensitive to them, knowing they may not always talk about their feelings. Draw them out, plan a fun outing with them, check in with them.

- Some children are peacemakers, and/or they put a burden on themselves to make everything better. That was me, growing up. It can lead to, in my opinion, co-dependent tendencies, if the child grows up with an identity that focuses primarily on rescuing others. (Not in a Compassion International kind of rescuing, but in a way that leaves them feeling unsatisfied when they're not "working" on someone.) I don't know how to remedy this, but keep it in prayer and keep a close watch. My husband and I find nothing in the Bible that addresses co-dependent behaviors, but it seems to both of us that they are, when taken to the extreme, unhealthy.

I hope this helps all the mommies out there!

Most importantly, remember this one thing. Recall the way Ann signs everything? Alls Grace. When you're a Christian, it's all about grace.

A Mother's Role: Not What You Think

What are your thoughts when reflecting on your mother, and on your relationship with her? Of the childhood you spent under her care? Blessed ones? Conflicted ones? A little of both?

My mother raised an ADHD child--my brother--and that colored my world quite a bit, growing up. I can't recall a single memory of her being happy. Part of it is personality type; she is introverted, reflective, fiery, perhaps a little glass-half-empty. But much of it was the daily stress of raising an ADHD personality. Disorders and dysfunctions color your world differently. Without firsthand experience, no one can understand.

But, my mother is kind and good and did her best to raise three fine children. And now that I'm forty-five, I think of her quite differently. I appreciate her efforts more and take her failings lightly. I live her realities and I wish I could have been the face of Jesus to her, all those years ago. Not a believer, she had no divine strength to draw from.

My own failings changed my perspective about my upbringing.

I also have an ADHD child, and now with Beth's arthritic condition, I have another challenge; my little girl experiences chronic pain. Not a stranger to chronic pain--daily migraines/rebound headaches--I understand how it threatens your hope and energy. But I'm mature enough to understand the reality of a sin-cursed world. My pain is minor. I'm keenly aware of this, even on the worst of days.

But Miss Beth, at 34 months old, can't understand what's happening. Her life has changed enormously and she can't comprehend why; nor does she have any idea how long this will last. This pains me as much as her diagnosis does.

When a child aches, mommy's love is like the face of Jesus. Mommy shares the pain. Though a young child can't understand what's happening to her body, she can understand grace, comfort, and love. I must be that for her, tirelessly.

With so much on my plate, I fail miserably in self-control--especially when someone loses something and my time is wasted searching. This happens far too often, with four kids around. I rant about irresponsibility and how can I do everything? Sometimes, like with Mary's AWANA book, I'm the one who misplaces something.

I'm making mistakes with my rants, with my anger, with my stress, just as my own mother did. I wonder if, at age 20 and 30, my children will feel blessed by their childhoods? Will it take them until 43 years old to come to terms with my imperfections, or will God fill them with grace and mercy for me, a sinner? Will they understand the toll of disorder?

I've added something to our mealtime prayers. I tell God in my children's hearing:  I'm not a perfect Mommy and I don't have perfect children, and may we all forgive each other in this house? May we love each other anyway, as Jesus love us?

I want the richest of relationships with them, with their spouses, with their children. I want us to be a fully functional, love-filled, grace-filled family, passing on intimate knowledge of the Savior.

I can't be the mother I want to be. I never will be, no matter how much chiseling God does on me.

When I sit with my face in my hands, wishing I could take back a rant over some silly, misplaced item, God speaks to me.

You are nothing, it's true, without Me.

- Cast your burdens on Me. 
- My plan is better than yours. 
- Entrust your children to me. 
- Know that my cross washes you clean.
- Know that my grace is sufficient for you, for them.


Draw them to the foot of the cross, where they belong. For someday, they will come face to face with their own failures. You don't bless them by being perfect. You bless them by seeing your own need for the cross, daily, and showing them their need.


I've written in this vein before about motherhood, but we all need this reminder.


A side note: Peter has been on Strattera 10 mg for over a year (a non-stimulant AD/HD drug). It helps some with the hyperactivity and takes the edge off the tic disorder and the OCD. However, it's the dose for a six-year-old child, and Peter will be ten in January. We hoped to never increase this dose. But, due to problems in Peter's relationship with Paul (stemming from too little impulse control), the doctor increased Peter's dose to 18 mg yesterday--still not enough for his weight, but enough that I saw a difference in the last 36 hours. I pray the change lasts and there are better days ahead. I can't help but wonder about the role of stress in daily arthritic disease activity. Stress affects our bodies in untold ways.