Monday, June 13, 2011

Guest Post: Amy's Prayer Warrior Journey, Vol. 2

To read Vol. 1 of Amy's Journey, click here.

Hearing the Spirit
Continuing my prayer this week, I've realized how much easier it is to hear the Spirit speaking to me because I have put time into my relationship with the Lord--praising Him, thanking Him, and asking for help.  

This week the Spirit has revealed to me that I need to ask to be filled with the Spirit each night and morning and throughout the day.  I can tend to be a perfectionist and want to do things in my own strength.  The Lord has revealed this to me before, but it's a continual struggle.  

For His Glory
What's even more important is that I ask to be filled with the Spirit so I can do all things for HIS GLORY.  This was an ah-ha moment for me when I read one of Christine's posts and then heard it again at church Sunday morning.  I want to be a good wife, mother, sister, and friend, but I believe I was thinking of it in a more self-centered way.  I wanted to be better, more like Jesus, because then I would feel better, but it's not about me, it's about HIM.   

I heard the Spirit speaking because I made the time to listen

I must admit that one night I did not pray.  I really don't know why other than I was tired.  After I pray each night, I feel a sense of peace that often gets lost throughout my day of caring for children, the house, and some days, going to work.  I often forget to pray during the day and my scheduled prayer time brings me back to God.  I can't figure out why I would choose to skip praying because it was a choice.  I just didn't pray one night.  At all.  

I was so filled with anxiety the next day.  I struggle with anxiety at different times.  Change of seasons or other big changes seem to bring it on.  It's probably related to hormones too.  My anxiety often leads to fear, which is such a difficult thing to deal with.  I need to pray and read the Bible to help me gain the right perspective.  I know anxiety and fear are not from God.  He is not communicating to me through these feelings.  

Experiencing His Faithfulness, His Grace
When I spoke with my husband about my feelings, he asked if I had prayed about it.  The answer was "no."  I can't explain why I didn't other than my sinfulness, pride, selfishness.  I ended up praying earlier that night as my husband watched over the kids....because I needed the Lord's help.  This prayer was not as structured, but Jesus answered my prayer and my fears were relieved.  

I continue to pray for help in this area.  I am so thankful that Jesus always forgives and loves me, not for my actions, but by His GRACE.

1 comment:

Christine said...

How your sweet spirit comes through your words! Makes me teary eyed to read how He guides his children. This is a beautiful picture of His grace and faithfulness. And what a blessing a Christian husband is!

With Love,