Remember my asking for volunteers to share about their prayer lives? This wonderful post was written by Amy.
I am a 33-year-old mother of 3 girls. I have twins who are 5 and my youngest daughter is 1 1/2. I have been a Christian since childhood. I remember praying the salvation prayer as the pastor led at church one Sunday morning, but do not know my exact age. I think about 7 or 8. Prayer has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. My mom would pray with my sister and I each night before bed. As we got older, I continued to pray on my own each night before I would go to sleep. It became a habit and a desire. As I entered college I began using a devotional book along with prayer each night before bed. Some nights I would not do the devotional, but would still pray.
It became more difficult to pray before sleep after I became a mom. I was so exhausted. Since then, I have had times where my devotional/prayer time was consistent, and other times when it was not.
This past fall/winter has been difficult. I can't really explain why, but I have dealt with exhaustion, anxiety, and feelings of being overwhelmed. My prayer life suffered. When Christine began writing about consistent prayer time, I was convicted to begin again. She reminded me of using the ACTS plan to pray. I have been praying each night using that outline. It has helped me organize my thoughts and reminds me to begin with praise/adoration.
What went well this week was the feelings of peace I experienced as I prayed. I gave my worries to the Lord and spent time praising and thanking. When I was experiencing a difficult day with my children, I didn't feel like praying. I was tired, angry, and overwhelmed with how to deal with certain behaviors my two oldest girls have been struggling with. I prayed anyway.
Beginning with adoration, I became relaxed. Confession humbled me, and thanksgiving made me realize I had no reason to be complaining. Supplication allowed me to ask the Lord for help and answers.
Slowly, I believe the Holy Spirit has revealed me to that I have taken all the responsibility of molding, and raising those girls, but in reality they are His girls. His children. I struggle with trying to do many things in my own strength. I understood this when praying and was able to confess and repent and ask for help.
Unfortunately, it is still difficult to keep this prayer time. I know the importance and I have the desire to spend time with Jesus, but some nights I have started to make excuses that I am too tired. I have still prayed each night, but one night it was more of duty rather than spending time with the Lord. I feel ashamed because I make time for other things and I know how importance prayer is.
1 comment:
Thank you for taking the time to bless us with this, Amy!
I, too, have had days where it felt more mechanical than worshipful. The Lord is gracious and I believe He will provide wisdom on how to avoid this mechanical feeling.
I am thinking of starting my prayer time with a couple Psalms, to calm my spirit on particularly stressful days.
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