Saturday, June 4, 2011

Guest Post: Amy's Prayer Warrior Journey, Vol. 1

Remember my asking for volunteers to share about their prayer lives?  This wonderful post was written by Amy.

I am a 33-year-old mother of 3 girls.  I have twins who are 5 and my youngest daughter is 1 1/2.  I have been a Christian since childhood.  I remember praying the salvation prayer as the pastor led at church one Sunday morning, but do not know my exact age.  I think about 7 or 8.  Prayer has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember.  My mom would pray with my sister and I each night before bed.  As we got older, I continued to pray on my own each night before I  would go to sleep.  It became a habit and a desire.  As I entered college I began using a devotional book along with prayer each night before bed.  Some nights I would not do the devotional, but would still pray.  

It became more difficult to pray before sleep after I became a mom.  I was so exhausted.  Since then, I have had times where my devotional/prayer time was consistent, and other times when it was not.
This past fall/winter has been difficult.  I can't really explain why, but I have dealt with exhaustion, anxiety, and feelings of being overwhelmed.   My prayer life suffered.   When Christine began writing about consistent prayer time, I was convicted to begin again.  She reminded me of using the ACTS plan to pray.  I have been praying each night using that outline.  It has helped me organize my thoughts and reminds me to begin with praise/adoration. 
What went well this week was the feelings of peace I experienced as I prayed.  I gave my worries to the Lord and spent time praising and thanking.  When I was experiencing a difficult day with my children, I didn't feel like praying.  I was tired, angry, and overwhelmed with how to deal with certain behaviors my two oldest girls have been struggling with.  I prayed anyway.  

Beginning with adoration, I became relaxed.  Confession humbled me, and thanksgiving made me realize I had no reason to be complaining.  Supplication allowed me to ask the Lord for help and answers.  

Slowly, I believe the Holy Spirit has revealed me to that I have taken all the responsibility of molding, and raising those girls, but in reality they are His girls.  His children.  I struggle with trying to do many things in my own strength.  I understood this when praying and was able to confess and repent and ask for help. 
Unfortunately, it is still difficult to keep this prayer time.  I know the importance and I have the desire to spend time with Jesus, but some nights I have started to make excuses that I am too tired.  I have still prayed each night, but one night it was more of duty rather than spending time with the Lord.  I feel ashamed because I make time for other things and I know how importance prayer is.   

1 comment:

Christine said...

Thank you for taking the time to bless us with this, Amy!

I, too, have had days where it felt more mechanical than worshipful. The Lord is gracious and I believe He will provide wisdom on how to avoid this mechanical feeling.

I am thinking of starting my prayer time with a couple Psalms, to calm my spirit on particularly stressful days.