To Whom Are You Listening?

Harry Broker: Breakfast time

I find a quote on a dear friend's blog, and though I love most of it, some of the words haunt me.

"The home is also where future queens learn how to rule their own kingdoms.

Are your daughters learning by example all that goes into the management of your family estate?

It doesn't matter if you live in an apartment or a grand house; your home is truly your family's castle. Do your daughters see you as the queen and ruler of your realm or as a slave reluctantly doing enough to get by? The future of the home depends upon the example you are giving your daughters." 

Quote taken from Queen of the Home: Essays, Poetry, and Quotes on the Honor, Nobility, and Power of Biblical Womanhood. Compiled by Jennifer McBride

"doing enough to get by"...this is the part the enemy uses against me.

Is my house clean enough? Should I be doing more? Should it be company ready all the time?

Miss Mary makes three-letter words with the Leapfrog Fridge Word Whammer, purchased years ago. It still works off and on and I'm trying to hold out before purchasing another. She calls me for help. "Mommy, I can't find the H!"

I sit there on the kitchen floor with her, marveling at her attention span and her love for learning. That's when I notice it.  

The magnetic letters are filthy! The Word Whammer is filthy! 

How could I let this happen? Why didn't I notice it before? Has it been so long since we've actively used it?

Shame fills me. Yes, I should be doing more! I'm a terrible house keeper. There's visible dirt in my house. Cobwebs on the ceiling. Dust on the blinds.

I wonder...is it Satan's voice, or His, shaming me? 

Each time I clean the house for guests, I ignore the children to do it, for that's what it takes. The boys make lunch for their siblings. They fetch things for their sisters...reluctantly sometimes, but they've come to understand cleaning deadlines.

After guests leave, I try so hard to keep things orderly. No piles anywhere. No clutter on the counter. If we just clean up as we go, it won't get behind again. I remember a friend of the Flylady's telling her early on, regarding the Flylady's messy home, which in those days was never company-ready: "Why you just have to clean up after yourself, that's all."

So I drive myself and the family insane, cleaning up as we go. I don't tolerate messes. I react immediately, putting everything in its place.

The problem is, I don't ever relax or spend time with my kids. I just scurry here and there, putting things away and sweeping the slightest bit of dirt as soon as it shows up.

After about 24 hours of this, I go back to really living, instead of being a slave to my home. Leave the scurrying around to the neat nicks, I say. That's just not me. 


My way is to clean like a fiend for a day, whenever friends or repair workers are due. In the meantime I keep Clorox Wipes in both bathrooms, ensuring we live as germ-free as possible. 

I don't mop every three days as needed, but I do sweep often and use wet paper towels on sticky floors. If the children are needy or appointments overtake us, I take a wet paper towel to the debris that collects at the baseboards, instead of sweeping. 95% of the time we have the clean clothes we need. We have three home-prepared meals a day plus snacks. 


We school at home, we disciple, and we pray. We read the Word. We hug and enjoy stories. We pursue our interests and hone our gifts.

Some days, depending on chronic illnesses, temporary illnesses, and appointments, I only do the meals, the dishes, and the laundry. Just those three things can take Herculean effort sometimes. 

Children use their imaginations when they're allowed to make messes. They get out all the pots and pans and ladles, experimenting with high and low tones. They tear up nature magazines, painting, gluing and cutting to the glory of God. They experiment, discover, and marvel.


I'm training my children to care for their school books, their clothes, and their rooms/playroom. It's a slow process, requiring commitment, patience, and grace, but it's worth the effort. Mom should eventually become the manager, not the sole worker. One day the house will be orderly most of the time, but they're still young yet; they still need me.


Many factors contribute to how clean or organized ours homes are. Every family is unique, so don't compare. For example, how many children do you have and what are their ages? How much supporting family live close? Do you or your children have chronic conditions or disorders? How many hours a week does your husband work? Does he travel? Is your husband a carpenter who whips up shelves and cabinets and makes organization a breeze? Does he bring home the money necessary to provide custom closets, and a garage, or a basement?


My own husband doesn't whip up shelves or provide a garage or basement , but when things are behind he gladly takes the children to the park on the weekends so I can organize, clean, and fold. If the weather is bad he takes them to the mall to ride the merry-go-round and the escalator, and to share greasy french fries or an order of Chinese food. They all come back happy. And me? I'm grateful and at peace.


Yesterday I cleaned for four hours before the used appliance place brought a dryer. Then I took Peter to get a new coat. The forecast included snow and he'd torn his only coat earlier in the week. Next we went to Home Depot to buy hardware to rehang the cupboard door Peter ruined. 


This afternoon husband took them to the mall so I could continue with yesterday's cleaning--dusting, taking a broom to the ceiling dust, and vacuuming and folding.


We can all do a few things right, no matter our circumstances. We can pray for wisdom, good habits, and proper attitudes. We can buy less to clutter our home. We can live simply. We can train our children.  We can use our time wisely.


To whom are you listening? Satan can turn even the loveliest exhortation against you. He attacks from every angle. His burden crushes. He's deceptive and convincing.


The Lord's burden? It's light. He cares about the heart, above all else. 


Let us be thankful for what we have and do our best to take care of it...fulfilling our duties to the glory of God.  


Above all, may we never neglect the shaping and cleansing of the heart. Which would you rather have? A clean house or a clean heart?


Ephesians 6:10-11
¹⁰ Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. ¹¹Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 


Ephesians 6:14-17
¹⁴ Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, ¹⁵ and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. ¹⁶ In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. ¹⁷ Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.


I ask it again. To whom are you listening?

photo source