When We Worry

Do you sometimes lie awake at night, worrying? 


Will Peter learn to control his temper and focus on details? Will his fine motor delay ever go away? Will Paul give up his perfectionism? Will he grow in humility and give the glory to God, despite everything being easy for him? Will Mary let go of her stubbornness and remain teachable? Will Beth have any long-term eye problems? Will she handle her arthritis gracefully?


Peter's issues worry me more than anything, but at different times all the children occupy my nighttime thoughts. Peter had a rough week and after two days of insomnia, a lesson already learned came to my mind afresh.


God gives each of us roles to perform. My concerns are my roles only. I am a wife, a mother, and a keeper of the home. Also a daughter, a friend, and a sister. 


God is responsible for the outcomes; we are responsible for fulfilling our roles. It's crucial to really get this into our heads and our hearts. We mustn't waste our time worrying! For when we worry, aren't we saying we don't trust God? That we want it our way, not His? 


Better to focus on what He wants from us, and then rest in peace regarding outcomes. Separate your roles from God's role. Sounds too simplistic, but we need this pounded into our heads time and again.


What roles needn't I concern myself with? Supporting the family and leading it. Those are my husband's responsibilities...given to him by God. I must be grateful and show my husband due respect, but wasting my time wondering if he's adequately fulfilling his role? That's pointless. God will speak to him about it, if necessary. I need only pray for him and always respect him.


Think of you and your husband standing under an umbrella. God is over the umbrella as the ultimate authority, and the umbrella represents your husband's authority over you. As long as you remain under that umbrella with your husband, God protects you, the wife. Of course, if your husband asks you to steal or do something else against God's laws, you must obey God, not your husband. But in most cases, you're safe under that umbrella, and you're in trouble when you stray from it. If you don't like one of your husband's decisions, it's very tempting to stray, but always remember God's protection over you. Obeying your husband is obeying God.


Whenever we worry about something, we need to ask ourselves: What is my role here? Am I doing it well? How can I do it better?


~ First, pray for wisdom, strength, and discernment concerning your role. 


~ Next, be obedient to the Holy Spirit's leading. 


~ Lastly, sleep well, knowing you are walking in His will. That's what we all crave, isn't it? The assurance that we are walking in His will?


When we worry specifically about our children, it helps to define what God wants from us as mothers. 


He expects 4 things from mothers (and fathers):


No special order here. A lot of Scriptures are listed. You may want to digest them in more than one sitting.


1. discipleship
2. discipline
3. prayer
4. love


1. We must disciple our children: 


Deuteronomy 6:4-9
Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.


Deuteronomy 4:9-10 
Only take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. Make them known to your children and your children’s children–how on the day that you stood before the LORD your God at Horeb, the LORD said to me, ‘Gather the people to me, that I may let them hear my words, so that they may learn to fear me all the days that they live on the earth, and that they may teach their children so.’


Psalms 78:2-8 
I will open my mouth in a parable; I will utter dark sayings from of old, things that we have heard and known, that our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the LORD, and his might, and the wonders that he has done. He established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers to teach to their children, that the next generation might know them, the children yet unborn, and arise and tell them to their children, so that they should set their hope in God and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments; and that they should not be like their fathers, a stubborn and rebellious generation, a generation whose heart was not steadfast, whose spirit was not faithful to God.


2. We must discipline our children:


Proverbs 13:24
Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him. 


The rod was used to guide sheep--to keep them with the whole group--so I don't think this points to spanking, solely, though some argue it does. Spanking may work for some children, but not for the strong-willed ones. If it incites anger rather than repentance, it isn't working. The point is that a child's will needs to be subject to his parents' will (and later, to God's will). Different methods may be needed to make this happen, depending on the child's temperament. 


Lately due to illnesses, my discipline slipped a bit and I'm seeing a difference in the kids. Two things we shouldn't compromise on are obedience and respect. Are they talking back, trying to negotiate, or simply not listening? Then it's time to reestablish boundaries--be stricter for a bit, until they fall in line again.


Hebrews 12:11
For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.


Proverbs 22:15
Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.


Proverbs 29:17
Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart.


Proverbs 19:18
Discipline your son, for there is hope; do not set your heart on putting him to death.


Proverbs 29:15
The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.


Proverbs 12:1
Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid.


Hebrews 12:5, 6
And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons? “My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.”


Ephesians 6:1-4  
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother (this is the first commandment with a promise) that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.


Proverbs 30:17  
The eye that mocks a father and scorns to obey a mother will be picked out by the ravens of the valley and eaten by the vultures.


Leviticus 19:3 
Every one of you shall revere his mother and his father, and you shall keep my Sabbaths: I am the LORD your God.


Titus 2:3-5 
Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

3. We must pray for our children: Praying God's Word Scriptures found here


James 5:16
Therefore, make it your habit to confess your sins to one another and to pray for one another, so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.


Ephesians 6:18
Praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints,


Colossians 1:9
And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding,


Philippians 4:6
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.


Acts 19:20.........I thank you Father that Your Word prevails over our children.
Isa 54:13...........That they are taught of the Lord and continue to be
Prov 13:1.......... the fruit of godly instruction and correction.
Isa 54:13...........Great is their peace and undisturbed composure.
Prov 2:6............ Father, give us counsel and wisdom in bringing up our children.
1Pet 1:14.......... I say they are obedient, not conforming to the things of the flesh,
1Pet 1:15.......... but holy, in all conduct.
1Pet 2:2........... desiring the pure milk of the Word that they may grow thereby.
Jas 1:19............That they are swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to wrath.
Heb 13:5.......... Their conduct is without covetousness,
Heb 13:5.......... and they are content with what they have.
Heb 13:16......... They do not forget to do what is right and to share.
2Pet 3:18.......... I pray that they grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord,
1Thes 4:1......... and abound more and more in how they should walk and please You.
1Pet 5:5........... That they submit to their elders, and to one another,
1Pet 5:5........... being clothed with humility.
1Pet 5:7........... That they cast their cares upon You, Father, for You care for them.
Jas 1:22............I thank You that they are doers of the Word, and not hearers only,
Ph'm 1:6...........effectively sharing their faith.
2Tim 1:7 ..........not having a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind.
2Tim 1:9...........Father, You have saved them and called them with a holy calling,
2Tim 1:9 ..........not according to works, but according to Your own purpose.
2Tim 4:18.........Deliver them from every evil work and preserve them.
John 10:5 ........They will by no means follow strangers, not knowing their voices.
2Tim2:22 .........They abide with others who call on the Lord out of a pure heart,
Jas 3:10 ..........and cursing comes not out of their mouth.
1Jn 5:18 ..........Because Jesus keeps them safe, the wicked one does not touch them.
Ps 91:11..........Give Your angels special charge to accompany, defend, preserve
Ps 4:8.............and provide safety for them, day and night.
1Jn 2:5 ...........Because they keep Your Word, Your love is being perfected in them.
1Jn 2:15 .........They do not love the world or the things in the world,
3Jn 1:11..........and they do not imitate what is evil, but what is good.
1Jn 1:7 ...........They walk in the light as You are in the Light,
Jas 4:8 ...........cleansing their hands and purifying their hearts,
2Tim 2:22 .......They follow after righteousness, faith, love, and peace.
Heb 13:18........They have a good conscience and desire to live honorably,
Prov 3:4 ..........having favor and high esteem with God and man.

4. Most of all, we must love our children:


Psalm 127:3
Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 

Ephesians 4:2 

with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love,


1 Peter 1:22

Having purified your souls by your obedience to the truth for a sincere brotherly love, love one another earnestly from a pure heart,

Psalm 139:13-16 

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.

1 John 4:7 

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.

Matthew: 19:14  

But Jesus said, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who are like these children.”


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