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| "Suspence" Charles Burton Barber |
I gave her the same answer I've reiterated for the last three days.
"God doesn't want us doing those close, long kisses before we get married. The couple in the movie didn't even get married. They had no business sharing those kisses together. God created long kisses as a special gift for married people. That means God wouldn't like this movie. It's hard sometimes, Mary, but we must please God, not ourselves. We have to make hard choices."
Tonight as everyone slept, I read this in 1 Peter 1:13-15 (emphasis mine):
Therefore, prepare your minds for action, be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: "Be holy, because I am holy."
"Holy" is from the Greek word that means "separated," and in this case it means separated from sin and therefore consecrated to God, or set apart for a sacred purpose.
Just as children struggle with peer pressure, adults do too. The church mirrors the world more than ever before. Many Christian parents have one foot in church and another in the world. If they like a movie that's Rated R, they go see it. If they like a worldly show, they turn it on in their homes. Everybody is doing it, so it must be okay.
Holiness? It's lonely. You won't find many people committed to it. You'll hear common sentiments like, "You can't shelter your kids too much. You have to trust them to make the right decisions."
Parenting doesn't come with guarantees. Ever.
But these 5 things will give our children a fighting chance:
1. Mom and Dad need to love holiness. We need to make holy decisions about what magazines, computer software, games, shows, clothing, movies, language, and attitudes we allow in our home and hearts. We need to make holy decisions about whom we call friends. Do the friends have a holy standard for their own lives? We must love everyone, but choose our friends wisely.
2. Most of the time that children are away from their family, whether it be in school, in sports programs, or at friends' houses, they're going to encounter either unholy words, unholy attitudes, or unholy ideas.
When they walk back into our home, we need to wash them clean of the world. We have to ask questions--be willing to gently probe for anything that seemed uncomfortable or confusing to them, or that seemed contrary to Mom and Dad's teaching, or to the Bible's teaching. If we fail to do this washing they'll slowly build up a world view that is contrary to holiness. We might not realize it's happening until it's too late. Jesus spent all day and night with his disciples. That's what it took to instill His ways. If we can't or don't spend 24/7 with our children, we have to be steadfast--very intentional--about instilling holiness.
Deuteronomy 6:4-9 (about discipleship of children--see my underlined sentences especially)
Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. 3. Our children need to hide God's Word in their hearts. How much Scripture are they familiar with, off the top of their heads? The key here is to review Scripture over and over. Even if they can't get the words exactly right, do they know most of the key verses--enough to understand and discuss the concepts taught? I urge you to look into Scripture memory programs. My own children do AWANA, which is heavy in review, but there are many resources out there for purchase.
4. Our children need to understand that holiness is lonely. They won't be the most popular kid around. They may be persecuted because of their views and choices. A strong, cohesive family unit helps with that loneliness. Family time needs to be paramount so that kids experience profound love and acceptance. If they don't have family filling up their love and acceptance cups, they'll look elsewhere for that sense of belonging.
If you love holiness and strive after it, you won't be the most popular parent around. People will talk behind your back. They'll question your choices. They'll say you need to get a life outside of your kids. They'll call you a helicopter parent. They'll say you're snobby and judgmental. Expect it. Cling to your relationship with God, with your husband, and with your Christian family.
5. We need to be praying parents. Pray God's word for your children, your future grandchildren, your future sons- and daughters-in-law, your children's friends and cousins:
Scripture list found here.
Acts 19:20.........I thank you Father that Your Word prevails over our children.
Isa 54:13...........That they are taught of the Lord and continue to be
Prov 13:1.......... the fruit of godly instruction and correction.
Isa 54:13...........Great is their peace and undisturbed composure.
Prov 2:6............ Father, give us counsel and wisdom in bringing up our children.
1Pet 1:14.......... I say they are obedient, not conforming to the things of the flesh,
1Pet 1:15.......... but holy, in all conduct.
1Pet 2:2........... desiring the pure milk of the Word that they may grow thereby.
Jas 1:19............That they are swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to wrath.
Heb 13:5.......... Their conduct is without covetousness,
Heb 13:5.......... and they are content with what they have.
Heb 13:16......... They do not forget to do what is right and to share.
2Pet 3:18.......... I pray that they grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord,
1Thes 4:1......... and abound more and more in how they should walk and please You.
1Pet 5:5........... That they submit to their elders, and to one another,
1Pet 5:5........... being clothed with humility.
1Pet 5:7........... That they cast their cares upon You, Father, for You care for them.
Jas 1:22............I thank You that they are doers of the Word, and not hearers only,
Ph'm 1:6...........effectively sharing their faith.
2Tim 1:7 ..........not having a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind.
2Tim 1:9...........Father, You have saved them and called them with a holy calling,
2Tim 1:9 ..........not according to works, but according to Your own purpose.
2Tim 4:18.........Deliver them from every evil work and preserve them.
John 10:5 ........They will by no means follow strangers, not knowing their voices.
2Tim2:22 .........They abide with others who call on the Lord out of a pure heart,
Jas 3:10 ..........and cursing comes not out of their mouth.
1Jn 5:18 ..........Because Jesus keeps them safe, the wicked one does not touch them.
Ps 91:11..........Give Your angels special charge to accompany, defend, preserve
Ps 4:8.............and provide safety for them, day and night.
1Jn 2:5 ...........Because they keep Your Word, Your love is being perfected in them.
1Jn 2:15 .........They do not love the world or the things in the world,
3Jn 1:11..........and they do not imitate what is evil, but what is good.
1Jn 1:7 ...........They walk in the light as You are in the Light,
Jas 4:8 ...........cleansing their hands and purifying their hearts,
2Tim 2:22 .......They follow after righteousness, faith, love, and peace.
Heb 13:18........They have a good conscience and desire to live honorably,
Prov 3:4 ..........having favor and high esteem with God and man.
Finally, do not be afraid. Be set apart and fight the good fight.
1 Timothy 6:12
Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses.
Philippians 3:12
Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me
1 Timothy 1:19
holding on to faith and a good conscience. Some have rejected these and so have shipwrecked their faith.
2 Timothy 4:7
I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.
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