What flavor parent are you?
Are you a conscientious parent, always serving fruit and the right amount of dairy servings? Religiously combing everyone's hair and checking their faces before outings? Do you check their clothes for stains and hang everything from the dryer so their clothes are neat, not disheveled? Do you read stories to them faithfully every night? Reading the Bible too and listening to them pray?
Or, are you a fun parent, always laughing with them, tickling and joking? Do you play hide-and-seek outside on summer evenings instead of worrying about the dishes? Do you catch fireflies with them and chase after butterflies? Do you entertain them in the bath, eliciting giggles and squeals? Are there always practical jokes going on in your home?
Maybe you're a highly organized parent, with hooks for every backpack and hat and a tidy place for important papers? Are your dinners all planned for the next week with accompanying groceries already purchased? Do you have your back-to-school supplies already bundled up, ready to go? Are the kids' afterschool activities arranged and on the calendar?
We can be many things to our kids, excelling in this area or that, depending on what our gifts are. If we could be a fly on the wall in ten separate homes, we'd find parents of all stripes, really good at one or two things and mediocre at others.
But as my friend Emily Wierenga reminded yesterday, the most important thing for us to be good at, is love. If we can get this one thing right, a multitude of wrongs pass away.
1 Peter 4:8
Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.
Some children need to hear "I love you" many times a day, or "I love how you put such bright colors in that painting". They need our affirming words.
Others need to be cradled in our arms several times a day, held tightly, or nestled against us on the easy chair for a story or song. They need our physical touch.
Still others need us to sit and play that favorite board game with them, or talk to them long about everything and nothing. They need our undivided attention--some quality time.
Some need little token gifts given here and there, like a note on the pillow or a Hershey's kiss in the lunch box.
And lastly, some need acts of service performed regularly, like their bed made or their room tidied as a little surprise.
Oh, I know. The more children you have the more complicated these five love languages become. The best thing moms of many can do is to pick out one or two children a day--preferably pairing the ones with the same primary love language--and concentrate on giving them what they need on that particular day, especially.
Gary Chapman's updated The 5 Love Languages of Children published on January, 2012. It sells for $10.19 on Amazon. Or for $9.99 on Christianbook.com
Here is an excerpt from Amazon reviewer Dylan Coe's featured write up:
As a mom, I found that The 5 Love Languages of Children was one of the best books I could have read. Even though my children are just preschoolers, they still require their love languages being spoken. Gary Champan and Ross Campbell use biblical principles, personal illustrations, and personal application to really open up your eyes to your child's needs. I highly recommend this book to any parent - new or old. It might just be the charge your family needs to go from average to exemplary. If every child had their love languages met just think of what a better place we would live in.
The love languages are the same for children as they are for adults. This book just concentrates on loving your children, rather than on nurturing your relationship with your spouse. Here is a table explaining the five languages, taken from http://www.5lovelanguages.com/learn-the-languages/the-five-love-languages/
Now that we know what we're doing, ready, set... Go Love!
Because if love isn't a verb...what is it?
Victorian photo credit
Are you a conscientious parent, always serving fruit and the right amount of dairy servings? Religiously combing everyone's hair and checking their faces before outings? Do you check their clothes for stains and hang everything from the dryer so their clothes are neat, not disheveled? Do you read stories to them faithfully every night? Reading the Bible too and listening to them pray?
Or, are you a fun parent, always laughing with them, tickling and joking? Do you play hide-and-seek outside on summer evenings instead of worrying about the dishes? Do you catch fireflies with them and chase after butterflies? Do you entertain them in the bath, eliciting giggles and squeals? Are there always practical jokes going on in your home?
Maybe you're a highly organized parent, with hooks for every backpack and hat and a tidy place for important papers? Are your dinners all planned for the next week with accompanying groceries already purchased? Do you have your back-to-school supplies already bundled up, ready to go? Are the kids' afterschool activities arranged and on the calendar?
We can be many things to our kids, excelling in this area or that, depending on what our gifts are. If we could be a fly on the wall in ten separate homes, we'd find parents of all stripes, really good at one or two things and mediocre at others.
But as my friend Emily Wierenga reminded yesterday, the most important thing for us to be good at, is love. If we can get this one thing right, a multitude of wrongs pass away.
1 Peter 4:8
Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.
Some children need to hear "I love you" many times a day, or "I love how you put such bright colors in that painting". They need our affirming words.
Others need to be cradled in our arms several times a day, held tightly, or nestled against us on the easy chair for a story or song. They need our physical touch.
Still others need us to sit and play that favorite board game with them, or talk to them long about everything and nothing. They need our undivided attention--some quality time.
Some need little token gifts given here and there, like a note on the pillow or a Hershey's kiss in the lunch box.
And lastly, some need acts of service performed regularly, like their bed made or their room tidied as a little surprise.
Oh, I know. The more children you have the more complicated these five love languages become. The best thing moms of many can do is to pick out one or two children a day--preferably pairing the ones with the same primary love language--and concentrate on giving them what they need on that particular day, especially.
Gary Chapman's updated The 5 Love Languages of Children published on January, 2012. It sells for $10.19 on Amazon. Or for $9.99 on Christianbook.com
Here is an excerpt from Amazon reviewer Dylan Coe's featured write up:
As a mom, I found that The 5 Love Languages of Children was one of the best books I could have read. Even though my children are just preschoolers, they still require their love languages being spoken. Gary Champan and Ross Campbell use biblical principles, personal illustrations, and personal application to really open up your eyes to your child's needs. I highly recommend this book to any parent - new or old. It might just be the charge your family needs to go from average to exemplary. If every child had their love languages met just think of what a better place we would live in.
The love languages are the same for children as they are for adults. This book just concentrates on loving your children, rather than on nurturing your relationship with your spouse. Here is a table explaining the five languages, taken from http://www.5lovelanguages.com/learn-the-languages/the-five-love-languages/
Words of Affirmation
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.Quality Time
In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.Receiving Gifts
Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.Acts of Service
Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.Physical Touch
This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.
Now that we know what we're doing, ready, set... Go Love!
Because if love isn't a verb...what is it?
Victorian photo credit
2 comments:
I love the one for adults but have not read the kid version. I know that loving my children is something I could do better at. I am really good at meeting their need and taking care of them but to really just love them in a meaning way to them can be hard. Thanks for the inspiration and book review my friend :)
Tesha, thank you for reading, my friend. And for letting me know you were here. Love to you.
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