Saturday, July 28, 2012

How He Parents Me



"Do you understand?", he pleads for maybe the tenth time in thirteen years. "The most loving thing you can do for me, besides making love when I'm well, is to wear a mini-skirt around the house at night so I can look at you. It makes me so happy to look at you."

This desire, expressed on his birthday, the day after surgery.

After a day with four children who fussed, complained, argued, fought each other. To the very. last. minute. before they fell asleep. With the loss of routine, they fell apart, the impulsive one leading the pack.

What am I doing wrong with these kids? This inquiry filled my head and my prayers all day.

Even had I not fallen asleep with exhaustion while nursing Beth, easing the pain of varicose veins that ached all day and begged to be rested......him? He fell asleep after reading Narnia stories to the boys.

When will it get easier with the kids, he wonders.

And I don't know the answer. I don't know how to stretch myself or chop myself to care for all these people...their needs often conflicting with each other.

How can I ever be enough? When one wins, another loses.

Beth wakes three times in the night from dreams--her sister once, complaining that bumble bees invaded her bed. When do children dream, roll over, and just go back to sleep? With the boys I don't remember so many dream-related wake ups.

This marriage? It's strong, lived with grace, and he will survive, like every other man whose wife is caring for small children. God gives these intense years and they are gifts.

Still, he needs me to listen and plan and act.

Black bear sightings increase here, I read this week. Just last week, a sighting in the next township over. They search for bird feeders and pet food bowls and exposed trash May through mid-July.

Most interesting, I read that the parents, they kick the cubs out at one year old, who then must find their own territories.

And human children? We love, teach, nurture for twenty years, and then some. And God knows his own design. He knows a mother's challenges.

I sit in the dark living room...insomnia at 2 AM.

I talk with my Lord and he comforts me, agreeing that yes, I am not enough.

But I am, He reminds. Pray your way through...for me, the great I AM?

I do not parent like a bear. I will never leave you nor forsake you.

John 15:4
Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

Isaiah 42:16
I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them. 

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Something About Jonah, Part 3

Read part 1 here, part 2 here




Jonah Chapter 3; Jonah Goes to Nineveh Scripture in red, my commentary in blue.
1Then the word of the Lord came to Jonah a second time: 2“Go to the great city of Nineveh and proclaim to it the message I give you.”

3Jonah obeyed the word of the Lord and went to Nineveh. Now Nineveh was a very important city—a visit required three days. 4On the first day, Jonah started into the city. He proclaimed: “Forty more days and Nineveh will be overturned.”


Preaching a message of doom. Wow. Is that an easy assignment for any of us? Would we want to go out into our neighborhood with a bullhorn, preaching repentance? What are some of the consequences, potentially? 
We would be ridiculed. Our house would be toilet-papered, rocks thrown in our windows, or worse. No one would speak to us, henceforth, but they would watch us closely, looking for any reason to call us hypocrites. Our children would be ostracized.
We are called to share our faith, to make disciples of all nations...or neighborhoods. This isn't an assignment we can ignore, any more than Jonah could ignore the command to preach repentance to an evil nation. 
Just last week I felt an incredible pull to go down the street and give a dinner invitation to a neighbor and her seven-year-old grandson (the one who lost his mother as a one-year-old baby. This grandma has custody of him). Previously I had gone down to properly introduce myself and let her know we were here, should she ever need anything. She was appreciative and friendly and not in a hurry for me to leave, and asked about the church that meets in the elementary school down the street, which we've attended about a year.
Then after receiving my dinner invitation, she never responded at all, even to say she wasn't interested. I put two potential Sunday evenings on the invitation, asking what would work for her. The first Sunday has already passed and we've heard nothing. She is two houses down and was out talking to her neighbor on Sunday, and though we were out as well, she didn't come down or wave, though Landon, the seven-year-old, did wave.
I thought she was a Christian because she sends her grandchildren to VBS and AWANA every year. The invitation explained that we wanted to be the Body of Christ to her and fellowship with her and be here for her, should the need ever arise. Inviting her didn't feel risky; I thought she was a Christian. Maybe she is, but from our last conversation I surmised she doesn't currently go to church, nor did she ever attend the church she sends her grandchildren to for programs. Her sister is the connection to that church. I didn't invite her to church, but I did gave the start times after she inquired. I wanted to concentrate on making a real connection and I felt a casual summer dinner would be the best way. 
Remember that I'm shy. All this started after my study of the Body of Christ. I felt a pull, not from within, to go down the street and see this woman. It was God, for sure, which makes me all the more confused.
I wouldn't have taken these steps had I not thought she was a Christian...and that bothers me. I don't share the gospel except with young children (like ten-year-old Lexi, our neighborhood friend), and on the Internet through my writing...because it's safe that way. 
How many of us want to feel safe, more than we want to work for God? I have to admit my neighbor's lack of response makes me feel stupid--as though I'm not even worth a walk over to say she's too busy. Unbelievers can do that to us...make us feel less than. We mustn't let it stop us though, for who defines us? Who gives us our worth? The world, or our loving Heavenly Father? 
5The Ninevites believed God. They declared a fast, and all of them, from the greatest to the least, put on sackcloth.

6When the news reached the king of Nineveh, he rose from his throne, took off his royal robes, covered himself with sackcloth and sat down in the dust. 7Then he issued a proclamation in Nineveh:

“By the decree of the king and his nobles:

Do not let any man or beast, herd or flock, taste anything; do not let them eat or drink. 8But let man and beast be covered with sackcloth. Let everyone call urgently on God. Let them give up their evil ways and their violence. 9Who knows? God may yet relent and with compassion turn from his fierce anger so that we will not perish.”

10When God saw what they did and how they turned from their evil ways, he had compassion and did not bring upon them the destruction he had threatened.



Wow! Can you imagine a more miraculous response? How blessed we are that the Lord desires to correct us in love, not take revenge. 


Judah and Israel had been dealt with by prophets before, but they never repented; their hearts remained hard. Jesus said in Matthew 12:39-41 that at the time of judgement, the Ninevites would stand and condemn Israel for not repenting.


Matthew 12:39-41 He answered, “A wicked and adulterous generation asks for a miraculous sign! But none will be given it except the sign of the prophet Jonah. 40For as Jonah was three days and three nights in the belly of a huge fish, so the Son of Man will be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth. 41The men of Nineveh will stand up at the judgment with this generation and condemn it; for they repented at the preaching of Jonah, and now onee greater than Jonah is here.

I have to admit to a lack of mercy in my own heart. When I saw my neighbor out the other day, talking with another neighbor, my heart grew hard. I didn't want to look at her. I felt humiliated at her lack of response and I didn't feel she deserved any kindnesses. My own perspective, my own feelings, prevailed, just as we'll see happened to Jonah in chapter 4. Peter, my son, had more heart than I did. He waved at Landon and tried to wave at the grandmother as well (she was preoccupied with her conversation). Peter, too, feels bad about her lack of response. He's shy as well, but more social than me; he looked forward to having dinner with a neighbor, but his disappointment didn't stop him from extending kind gestures.

Trust me, you'll be disgusted at Jonah's response in Chapter 4. It'll leave you shaking your head. But don't shake it too much. If you look deep enough, you may find similar hardness in your own heart. 

The Book of Jonah has so much to teach us! One of the most important lessons is humility before God--having an awe at His divine mercy toward all people, no matter their sins. No sin is too great for his mercy, if we will only humble ourselves and repent. We must be mindful of our lowly position before God. We are worthy now, as a redeemed people, thanks to His mercy and grace...but exalting ourselves above others in our own minds? Always a grievous sin!

I never meant for this to get so long.  I fully intended on getting to Chapter 4 today, the conclusion of the Book of Jonah. Maybe tomorrow? My husband is having hernia surgery at 11:00 am this morning (Wednesday). If he doesn't need me much in the coming days, I'll get to Jonah 4 hopefully on Thursday or Friday. Please pray for a perfect surgical outcome? Thank you!

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Something About Jonah, Part 2


 If you missed it or have forgotten it, see Something About Jonah, Part 1




We left Jonah being swallowed by a big fish after being thrown overboard by merciful pagan sailors who tried but failed to deliver him to dry land. Jonah had run away from God in an attempt to avoid preaching repentance to the Ninevites, who were guilty of atrocities against the Israelites. 

In his heart Jonah was afraid the Ninevites would repent after being preached to and that God would spare them--something the hate in Jonah's heart couldn't allow. In running away he had given up his ministry, his family...everything. The mercy shown to Jonah by the pagan sailors stands out in sharp contrast to the lack of mercy in Jonah's heart.

Now, in chapter 2, we have Jonah's prayer. Scripture in red, my commentary words in blue.
1 From inside the fish Jonah prayed to the Lord his God. 2 He said:
“In my distress I called to the Lord, and he answered me.
Notice this is not a prayer for deliverance. Instead, Jonah gives thanks to the Lord for His mercy, for Jonah has not drowned! He understands the magnitude of his sin and that death is a fair punishment. He's overwhelmed by the Lord's mercy. 

No matter what's going on in our own lives, we can have this same magnitude of feeling about our own deliverance from death. The Lord's mercy is overwhelming! Take a moment and contemplate that today. Escaping hell and eternal suffering is mercy. Getting heaven instead of hell? That is wild, radical grace

A spirit of thanksgiving should permeate our lives, setting the tone for all our interactions and reactions. We've already been given so much! 
From deep in the realm of the dead I called for help,
and you listened to my cry.
3 You hurled me into the depths,
into the very heart of the seas,
and the currents swirled about me;
all your waves and breakers
swept over me.
4 I said, ‘I have been banished
from your sight;
yet I will look again
toward your holy temple.’
5 The engulfing waters threatened me,[b]
the deep surrounded me;
seaweed was wrapped around my head.
6 To the roots of the mountains I sank down;
the earth beneath barred me in forever.
But you, Lord my God,
brought my life up from the pit.

7 “When my life was ebbing away,
I remembered you, Lord,
and my prayer rose to you,
to your holy temple.

Let this sentence in verse 7 not be us. We must not "remember the Lord" only when life overwhelms--when it's ebbing away--but every day. A solid, on-going relationship with the Lord grounds us in righteousness and allows peace to flood our hearts. We can choose God or choose Satan, for Satan always wins when God doesn't--life is a spiritual battle. A new or immature Christian doesn't always understand this sober reality, but the longer we walk faithfully with the Lord, the more we comprehend the battle that makes up our daily lives.
Remember that the full fix doesn't come until heaven. Until then, we must daily choose God over Satan as the ruler of our hearts. Our salvation means we will triumph in the end, but we can be used by God and have greater peace today, if we will engage in the battle, putting on the full armor of God. (see Ephesians below)

When we lack peace, let us ask ourselves why. Who is winning in the battle for our attention and devotion?
Ephesians 6:10-18 The Armor of God 10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

Matthew 12:30 "He who is not with me is against me, and he who does not gather with me scatters."
Back to Jonah's prayer, in chapter 2 verse 8:
8 “Those who cling to worthless idols
turn away from God’s love for them.


When we choose idols instead of God--too much time spent on hobbies, electronics, a career, acquiring riches, whatever it is that steals our time away from God--we give up so much that is precious and sustaining and renewing. When we fail to choose God, we give up his mercy.

9 But I, with shouts of grateful praise,
will sacrifice to you.
What I have vowed I will make good.
I will say, ‘Salvation comes from the Lord.’”

Jonah repents and promises to obey God--to make good on his ministerial vow. How easily do we obey God? Is a yes always ready on our lips? Do we wake up in the morning asking, "What do you want to do today, God?"
10 And the Lord commanded the fish, and it vomited Jonah onto dry land.


In chapter 3 we learn that although Jonah repented and did as God commanded--he preached repentance to the Ninevites--his heart still burned with hate.

Prayer TimeDear Heavenly Father, thank you for your mercy and grace toward us. May we live our lives clothed in thankfulness, never forgetting or minimizing your sacrifice. May we say yes to you and put on the full armor of God, so we can daily do battle with the enemy, to bring you your due glory. Let us live to bring you glory, in all we do. Open our hearts to what you have to say about mercy in the next chapter of Jonah, especially as our country mourns a tragedy in Colorado. Your desire is that all shall repent and receive mercy--even the villains ( the Ninevites of our world). May our hearts be filled with mercy for the perpetrator and his family, even as we mourn the loss of innocent life. May the country look to you for peace, for truth.


In your Son's name I pray, Amen



Monday, July 23, 2012

How to Really Love Your Children

What flavor parent are you?

Are you a conscientious parent, always serving fruit and the right amount of dairy servings? Religiously combing everyone's hair and checking their faces before outings? Do you check their clothes for stains and hang everything from the dryer so their clothes are neat, not disheveled? Do you read stories to them faithfully every night? Reading the Bible too and listening to them pray?

Or, are you a fun parent, always laughing with them, tickling and joking? Do you play hide-and-seek outside on summer evenings instead of worrying about the dishes? Do you catch fireflies with them and chase after butterflies? Do you entertain them in the bath, eliciting giggles and squeals? Are there always practical jokes going on in your home?

Maybe you're a highly organized parent, with hooks for every backpack and hat and a tidy place for important papers? Are your dinners all planned for the next week with accompanying groceries already purchased? Do you have your back-to-school supplies already bundled up, ready to go? Are the kids' afterschool activities arranged and on the calendar?

We can be many things to our kids, excelling in this area or that, depending on what our gifts are. If we could be a fly on the wall in ten separate homes, we'd find parents of all stripes, really good at one or two things and mediocre at others.

But as my friend Emily Wierenga reminded yesterdaythe most important thing for us to be good at, is loveIf we can get this one thing right, a multitude of wrongs pass away.

1 Peter 4:8
Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.

Some children need to hear "I love you" many times a day, or "I love how you put such bright colors in that painting". They need our affirming words.

Others need to be cradled in our arms several times a day, held tightly, or nestled against us on the easy chair for a story or song. They need our physical touch.

Still others need us to sit and play that favorite board game with them, or talk to them long about everything and nothing. They need our undivided attention--some quality time.

Some need little token gifts given here and there, like a note on the pillow or a Hershey's kiss in the lunch box.

And lastly, some need acts of service performed regularly, like their bed made or their room tidied as a little surprise.

Oh, I know. The more children you have the more complicated these five love languages become. The best thing moms of many can do is to pick out one or two children a day--preferably pairing the ones with the same primary love language--and concentrate on giving them what they need on that particular day, especially.

The 5 Love Languages of Children

Gary Chapman's updated The 5 Love Languages of Children published on January, 2012. It sells for $10.19 on Amazon. Or for $9.99 on Christianbook.com

Here is an excerpt from Amazon reviewer Dylan Coe's featured write up:

As a mom, I found that The 5 Love Languages of Children was one of the best books I could have read. Even though my children are just preschoolers, they still require their love languages being spoken. Gary Champan and Ross Campbell use biblical principles, personal illustrations, and personal application to really open up your eyes to your child's needs. I highly recommend this book to any parent - new or old. It might just be the charge your family needs to go from average to exemplary. If every child had their love languages met just think of what a better place we would live in.

The love languages are the same for children as they are for adults. This book just concentrates on loving your children, rather than on nurturing your relationship with your spouse. Here is a table explaining the five languages, taken from http://www.5lovelanguages.com/learn-the-languages/the-five-love-languages/


  • Words of Affirmation
    Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.
  • Quality Time
    In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.
  • Receiving Gifts
    Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.
  • Acts of Service
    Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.
  • Physical Touch
    This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.


Now that we know what we're doing, ready, set... Go Love! 

Because if love isn't a verb...what is it?

Victorian photo credit 

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Baked Oatmeal For Breakfast

It was our turn to bring a breakfast food to Sunday morning fellowship. Our church fellowships from 9:30 to 10:00, right before church. I found this healthy, lowfat baked oatmeal recipe. Moist and delicious, it was enjoyed by all. Baking this the night before really cuts down on breakfast prep time. Just pop a piece in the microwave.

 Baked Oatmeal print recipe here
Ingredients

  • 2 cups uncooked quick-cooking oats (or use regular whole oats and add 10 minutes baking time)
  • 1/2 cup packed brown sugar
  • 1/3 cup raisins (or cranberries, or blueberries, or mashed bananas)
  • 1 tablespoon chopped walnuts (I left this out.)
  • 1 teaspoon baking powder
  • 1 1/2 cups fat-free milk
  • 1/2 cup applesauce  (or use 1/2 canned pure pumpkin and add some cinnamon and nutmeg)
  • 2 tablespoons butter, melted
  • large egg, beaten
  • Cooking spray
  1. Procedure
  2. Preheat oven to 375°.
  3. Combine the first 5 ingredients in a medium bowl. Combine the milk, applesauce, butter, and egg. Add milk mixture to oat mixture; stir well. Pour oat mixture into an 8-inch square baking dish coated with cooking spray. Bake at 375° for 20 minutes. Serve warm.
It is supposed to be very moist, but mine turned out soupy with just 20 minutes baking time. I added 4 minutes baking time and it was still very moist, but not soupy. Some people pour milk and fruit over it.



Nutrition information (If less than 30% of the calories come from fat, the dish is considered a lowfat food. We should try to keep our total fat intake each day at less 30% of our total caloric intake. I always figure about 3 grams of fat per 100 calories. Protein and carbohydrates have 4 calories per gram, and fat has 9 calories per gram)

Calories: 281
Calories from fat: 24%
Fat: 7.6g
Saturated fat: 2.8g
Monounsaturated fat: 1.5g
Polyunsaturated fat: 0.9g
Protein: 7g
Carbohydrate: 48.8g
Fiber: 3.4g
Cholesterol: 47mg
Iron: 0.8mg
Sodium: 171mg
Calcium: 148mg