A Desperate Prayer

A friend hurts and I've prayed. My prayer partners, they've prayed. The hurt goes so deep and things look so hopeless and the peace of God in her agnostic heart, it isn't showing up.

"Show up, Lord! Show up for my friend, knock on the door of her heart and be large...so large you can't be mistaken as anything but the Almighty God."  I shout it in my mind as I hear how discouraged she is, how maybe she should get some antidepressant.

And my day rolls on and I hurt too. I can't believe God isn't showing up. One of the biggest prayers of my life...and no end to the pain yet. God, birth one of your wine-from-water miracles. Let it be now.

I hang clothes and wash dishes and dictate sentences and give out M&M's for proper punctuation. I help with kindergarten journal sentences. I produce sandwiches and fake smiles and all the while, I wonder what He has planned? How long will the intensity last and will it get any worse?

All the Scriptures I know, they are for Believers. How do I comfort a non-Believer when she wants to tune out the slightest of spiritual sentiment? How do I penetrate her heart at all?

And the water bill and the insurance bill, they are late and the math doesn't work out and the kids want to go to the township carnival and I think how, without God, it would all break me. Daily life is so hard but I don't break. I wake up and He carries me and He helps me count blessings. He makes my children hug me at just the right times. He offers grace and love and truth, all for the taking.

And I take it. I open my arms wide and I take the Grace and I cherish the wonder of it.

And my heart aches that my friend, she doesn't have this. She doesn't know that God will provide and His math is a foreign kind...an eternal kind. She doesn't know that grace will rain like it's forever spring, and your bra wire could be sticking into you the bra is so old, but it won't matter. Because in Him, the temporal remains temporal.

She doesn't know any of this. And please God, tell her? Penetrate her heart with Truth as only you can. Show her that life can be hard, really hard, but in You, there is Peace. 

Two of my prayer partners, they are sure You are working. Their confidence astounds me and maybe I'm too close to it? Give me the same confidence, Lord? Make me so exude this confidence that my belief is contagious?

In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.