Dear God

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Dear God,

I love you. You are the Holy One, the Messiah. The Almighty Living God. The great I AM.

Fifteen years ago you took over my heart and soul and I no longer resemble that woman of 31 years. The woman who remembers saying one day to a coworker: Adam and Eve are just a story, not truth. And the next day? I believed! You who are Truth put truth in me.

And my Lord? My Jesus? I can never thank you enough. I can never express my soul's relief over the divine rescue provided by your grace. I shudder at those wayward days of blindness and do you know? I wish I could kiss the very holes the nails put in you. I would and someday I will.

I had questions for you these last few years. Poverty like I'd never seen flashed before my eyes and I couldn't stop crying. And I couldn't stop asking: Why do some live in decayed dwellings the size of my king bed, and bathe in muddied, contaminated waters? Why do some have raw sewage running by their front doors? That's what I asked you, the Almighty Living God. The great I AM.

And you showed me the hearts of the redeemed poor. You showed me their total reliance on you and how you are enough for them. And you showed me our distracted, privileged culture. Our blind culture that looks everywhere and spends everything, searching for that very concept:  enough.

And my heart changed and I sought after you like never before. Nothing fulfills me like you do. Oh, how my heart savors your very name! I love you, Lord. I love you! You are vastly more than enough. Everything you give? It is enough. It is the perfect amount. My soul? It was made for worship, not consumption.

Make me your instrument, Lord. You have shown me that physical hunger, abject poverty, exist not because the privileged are evil, necessarily, but because they are hungry! Hungry for you and they don't even know it. The faithful and the lost, both. Neither gets enough of you.

And if they did, Father? If they did get enough of you? They would share...this I know. Sharing comes from a thankful heart. A heart so filled up with you that the gifts overflow onto others, cheerfully.

Use my words here, Lord. Use my heart. Use all of me to share the news that Jesus is waiting to love you to overflowing, to satisfy your inner-most longings. He wants to overflow your cup so you can be the blessing, not consume it.

Use me Lord, for your glory. For them.

My Heart Beats for You,

Christine