Thursday, January 20, 2011

some gratitude to fight fear

Tough days here with the special needs.  So hard not to worry that my son will end up on disability, unable to work because of OCD rituals, or that his AD/HD-related anger will someday send him to prison.  AD/HD is very common among prison inmates.

I suppose because of natural maturing, Peter tells me he sometimes doubts that Jesus exists, and wonders if there really is eternal life.  I know him to have a strong relationship with God--one that doesn't merely ride on the coattails of my God-relationship.  I tell him this doubting is normal, and that he should pray, "God, I believe.  Help me with my unbelief!"

Although I think it's normal, especially in a boy of nine, to question spiritual things, it's hard not to add it to my worries.  Will he always love God?  Will he choose to spend time with Him, seeking a deeper relationship?

Time to count blessings to help relieve my fears:

- Shepherd's pie

- homemade cranberry sauce

- homemade applesauce

- laundry caught up

- cuddling in the rocker/recliner for lap stories with my girls during the day

- couch picture-book stories with all four at night, before the girls go down

- chapter books at night with my boys, after girls are asleep (Enjoying Stuart Little, by E. B. White)

- my Peter's insatiable desire for reading (There aren't enough books published for his age group!  I hate weird sorcery/magic-themed books.  There are a lot of those to choose from)

- enduring love for husband

- toddler nursing, for so many reasons.  The hormones released sure calm my spirit, and hers.

- my two-year-old's independent, helpful nature (aren't they all helpful at two?  So cute :)

- Beth stripping her clothes off and putting herself on the potty.  She wants so much to be like big sister.  Since there are no babies around to be jealous of (this time around), I just might get lucky in the potty department.

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