I need to write something to a fifty-year-old, previously widowed Christian woman who filed for divorce from her non-Christian husband of 3 years. Her reasons? He won't go to church and he's too fat. He wasn't a Christian when she married him either, mind you. The husband's developed a belly but don't picture a nightmare of a weight problem. He's not obese and even if he was, her conduct is reprehensible.
The real problem is that this woman, like so many Christians, never had the benefit of discipleship, either because of her own stubbornness or because the Christians in her life couldn't be bothered.
The letter will be long and I don't really have the time. The laundry isn't caught up and the floors need mopping. Books are on hold at the library and need to be picked up.
Oh, sure. I could let it go and not get involved. My hands are full here already and didn't she make her bed by marrying a non-Christian in the first place? What makes me think she'll listen to biblical counsel anyway? It's a waste of my time.
Isn't it?
And what right do I have to be acting like a counselor? Teachers are not counselors...I'm not equipped.
Right? (Hint: If you have knowledge of the Word and love in your heart for the student, then you're equipped. God disciples through us, not because of us.)
Here's the shameful part, in the form of a confession. Three years ago when the pair contemplated marriage we knew it was a grave mistake on the woman's part due to the prospective groom's non-Christian status. I'm related to the groom and I like him, though for most of my life I didn't know him. That means I didn't and still don't have knowledge of what kind of husband he makes. But none of that matters, for these were issues of the Word only.
Do not be unequally yoked, the Bible says. Pure and simple Scripture that needed to be impressed upon a baby Christian woman who had never made Jesus her Lord. Jesus was Savior to her only and that's what He still is today.
We should have stepped in and privately counseled her three years ago, as the Holy Spirit prompted. Obviously we both feel terrible about this. Responsible for it even, in a small way--a responsibility we share with other Christians, for she was a churchgoer and didn't keep this relationship a secret.
We were conducting our busy lives and didn't want to upset other members of the family. It just seemed easier to let it go and pray for them.
Going back three years, here was the scene: We arrived at their small wedding reception just in time to see them greet the last of their guests. It appeared they were in some sort of an argument by the time we, the last in line, shook their hands and congratulated them.
We drove home feeling like cowards, knowing the scene in the coming months wouldn't be good.
The next day they drove to California, where the groom resided at the time; it was a long-distance, mostly phone relationship prior to the wedding. (They've lived here for eighteen months now, however.)
Out of sight, out of mind. I mostly forgot to pray for them because Beth was a tiny baby and I wasn't a prayer warrior back then.
How many times have you failed to get your hands dirty for God, for fear of this or that consequence?
The Gospel offends. The word obedience offends. The word sacrificial offends. All the words necessary to disciple another Christian, offend.
I will write this woman that though she married a non-Christian, she still must obey God and stay with her husband unless he decides to leave her. Her husband may never attend church with her or become a Christian. He may never lose weight or support her in the fashion she desires. Yet God still calls her to treat him with respect and let him make the important family decisions.
What must happen in her heart, for these words to penetrate?
It's the same for all of us, isn't it?
In order to obey God, we have to give up our sense of entitlement. We aren't entitled to happiness.
The Cross is enough, period.
And yet if we submit our will to His, God gives us even more. When we make Him our Lord, and not just our Savior, we're given a peace that surpasses all understanding.
Life eternal in Heaven. Peace in our journey here. Are you rejoicing yet?
If not, ask yourself about a sense of entitlement. Do you have one, in regard to your home, your spouse, your children, your friends, your family, your possessions, your health?
Throw that sense of entitlement away. Get on your knees and give thanks for what you do have.
It is enough. Far more than you, than any of us, deserve.
Disclaimer: It certainly might be a valid point that someone who hasn't made Jesus their Lord, really isn't saved in the first place. I don't pretend to know if the two must exist at the same time, but I do know that many people who claim Jesus as Savior, haven't been discipled. Discipleship happens through us--through Christians. We have a responsibility to guide new believers, even if it means offending them. God doesn't need us to do this. The God of the universe doesn't need us to do anything for Him. But I think one believer guiding another--called discipleship--is His preferred way to grow the Church.
Think about your sphere of influence. Who can you disciple right now, other than your children? Our first commitment is to those under our roof, but He will prompt us to do more at times. And we must obey. We must make time for Kingdom matters...for the eternal over the temporal
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