Tuesday, May 17, 2011

My Gratitude List - Tuesday

- siblings building cozy blanket tents in the playroom on a rainy, 52-degree day

- baby squirrels running around, finally allowed out of the nest

- cinnamon toast at midnight

- oatmeal with raisins and blueberries on a cold morning

- Scripture filling hearts, minds with life-giving truth and hope

- seven-year-old Paul writing a story about horses that surprisingly become parents to two foals--after a two-day gestation period :)

- the return of cold nights.....to enjoy hot chocolate a few more times, before it becomes unappealing altogether

- my two year old waking in the night, just long enough to cuddle against me and stroke my cheek a few times

- my two year old waking in the night, just long enough to draw close and throw her leg around me

Matthew 18:1-3  At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

John 16:21  When a woman is giving birth, she has sorrow because her hour has come, but when she has delivered the baby, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world.

- the Book of James, so full of wisdom

- four precious ones, coming sleepy from their beds in the morning with cuddling on their minds....I think how blessed I am to give and receive this way.

Matthew 18:10  See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that in heaven their angels always see the face of my Father who is in heaven.

Psalm 127: 3-5  Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

Psalm 139:13-16  For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.

- an e-mail from my mom reminding me I will be sixty-one when Beth is twenty-one (actually I'll be sixty-two)....and are there any job prospects.....and I can't help laying awake at night and worrying about you.

Without my faith such an e-mail might send me into tears.  I think about the blessing of my faith......about the hope I receive through Christ.....about the willingness of my heart and mind to let go of details like this.  The reality is that, no, there are no job prospects.  Yes, I will be old when she is young but God designed a woman's womb to give life into the forties and who am I to say He made a mistake?  Does He only give life to older woman with fat retirement accounts?  Is He who owns it all....who gives it all....confined by the limits of bank accounts?

What does faith give?  Life, abundant.  Life, unending.  As opposed to life confined by the four walls of a bank.  By the four walls of the coffin.  As I think about the difference between my reality and her reality, I am saddened as much as blessed.  Why choose me and not her too, God?  Why separate families this way?  I admit it is so painful to live the reality of this separation, year after year--from my mom, my dad, my step-dad, my sister, my brother.  But He doesn't make mistakes.  He is just.  I can count on that, as much as I count on my daily bread.  My manna.

Jeremiah 29:11  For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Numbers 6: 24-26  The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.
James 1:7  Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.

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