The Christian And Stress

Be still and know that I am God.

Hello there, friend. Can I ask about your stress level? How are you doing, really? Are there signs of unraveling?

As Christians it's hard for us to reconcile high stress levels with our professed faith in God. If I have faith, why am I having serious problems with stress? Why isn't my faith helping? Surely there's something God can do for me?


I've already revealed that many in my family have stress disorders. As early as college I had my first incidence of vertigo, in which the room spins rapidly and shortly after that, the lovely vomit. I'm not sure I had ever heard of vertigo at that time, but a doctor visit revealed that my spinning room and nausea were harmless. Just one of the many ways our bodies respond to stress.


Vertigo resurfaced recently. As well, three times in the last two years I've had psychosomatic illnesses. Once my ear hurt acutely for two days. Convinced if I didn't get treatment I'd have trouble caring for my kids, I went to urgent care. We don't have adequate support here and caring for my kids while sick is an ongoing fear, based on past difficult experiences (namely, a bad flu experienced in fall, 2009). 


Your eardrum looks perfect. It's your Eustachian tubes causing the pain, probably, the doctor said. Inflammation from allergy can cause pain. As soon as I got home--knowing nothing was going on and my mothering could resume uninterrupted--all pain stopped.


There were two incidences of frequency and urge with my bladder. I went to urgent care thinking I surely had a UTI and would have trouble caring for the kids if I let it become a kidney infection. With no insurance, how would we deal with a kidney infection? The money involved in health care promises a new set of worries. 


After giving birth to Beth I did have a UTI, along with my first and only C section and serious nursing difficulties. It was a ghastly time around here; my recovery was too slow for our needs. 


People will give their money when you're in hardship, but their time? That's another story. I've learned first hand the importance of offering people your time, after first assuring them you've seen messy houses and had them yourself. Your messy house won't shock me. I come to love you, not judge you. Adding these words is so important when mothers are in great need.


Elderly people can be reluctant to help for fear of contracting illnesses themselves. And younger people are often overwhelmed with their own families; it's not hard to see why help is not always available. Still, I have felt the need and I pray that I will extend my love and services to those in need, without regard to myself. God, may it be so!


Anyhow, both times in the last two years, my urine was crystal clear. I was given a prescription anyway, based on my symptoms. The first time I took the medicine, but this last time I figured something out:  I'm a stressed out dork, imagining illnesses. 


The doctor, though admitting that last time they were unable to grow anything in a culture, insisted I leave with a prescription. I threw it away because by the time I'd driven home, I knew what was up. My stress and anxiety are out of control.  All frequency and urge stopped as soon as I got home.


I could see what was coming. If I don't do something to stop this stress process, I'll end up with panic attacks like my mom, brother, and many others in the family line. That's the next step up from psychosomatic illnesses (just my hunch).


My silly mistake will cost about $200, due to no insurance. It was too late to keep the sample from going to the lab and the doctor visit itself was $130.


Last night at 1:00 AM Mary threw up. Our hunch? She ate all her dinner food at Daddy's insistence, so she could get a donut for dessert. But she was simply too full. 


I cleaned her up, changed her bed, showered her with kisses, and tucked her in again with a throw-up bowl. Then, after rinsing out the yucky stuff and putting the sheets in the washer and disinfecting everything, I went to bed myself. 


My thoughts were thus: If she throws up again in the next couple hours, it's probably a gastrointestinal virus. If not, she was just too full.


I thought about the prednisone Beth had for a week, knowing that it weakened her immune system. What if Beth gets a virus? Will she end up in the hospital? What if we all get it? Will I be able to adequately care for the children with husband gone 12 hours a day? How will we manage? What if husband gets sick and we lose income (only one of his part-time jobs offers sick time).


I could feel my stress level rising. God, help me calm down so the room won't start spinning. I hate throwing up, God. Help me change my reaction to stress. It's the only answer, God. I don't want anti-anxiety medication, nor can I afford it. I'm a Christian God. Surely you can help me?


Then I took a deep breath. Closed my eyes. 


What came to my mind next? Psalm 23. 


I recited as much as I could remember. And the calming effect? Immediate.


Memorize it, He said. Recite it every single time something goes wrong. Be still and know that I am God, by the comfort of this Psalm.


My friend, I don't know your family history or your circumstances, but I urge you: Don't ignore your stress. Take the Lord's advice. Memorize this Psalm by yourself or as a family...two or three verses a week. I believe God can help, despite family history. If you truly need medication, take it. God gives man the ability to develop medicines to make life more comfortable, less tragic. 


But first, try this.


Psalm 23 (KJV)

1 The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. 

2  He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.

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