Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Peaceful, Joyful, White

Lots of white stuff fell in the last twenty-four hours. Beautiful. Peaceful. The earth's axis is working again! My husband is miserable and yes, I'm sorry for him. He left PA at age thirty-eight, bound for California. He'd had enough of the white stuff. He married me when he was almost 41 years old, and I guess I betrayed him when I suggested we move to Ohio, where I had some family.

It seemed to make sense; one of my aunts here is a strong Christian, and we were trying to raise a baby and preschooler while I worked part-time from home with a lovely, sweet, but unreliable college student as a two-times weekly, four-hour babysitter (while I went to campus twice a week). I was newly pregnant, too, which was the catalyst for change (I miscarried at 10 weeks).

He never objected and agreed it made sense, but he did mention the weather several times. I suggested we try other cheap states, where I might be able to stay home with the children. Cheap states don't come with CA weather...ever notice that? Property is fairly cheap in tornado alley.

So we moved as soon as school let out, grieving all the while over another baby loss. We lived off the substantial housing profit we'd made, until husband found a job--something not quite so difficult back then. Yes, it was risky, but if God didn't want it, why did the house sell at all?

I'd visited here in May and found this house within a few days (back when loans were easy to get, with just good credit and enough down). We moved in eight days after our arrival, staying with my aunt in the meantime.

The staying-with-my-aunt part was quite the mistake. Understatement.

Peter, 3.5 at the time, didn't adjust well. He was a nightmare and Paul, the baby, was out of sorts as well. Escrow should have closed before our arrival, and my husband and me were dealing with stresses beyond just the children. It took my aunt a very long time to get her first impressions out of her head. It was rough here for awhile. I've often wished we'd gotten a cheap hotel those first eight days.

I think it's fair to say husband's never quite forgiven me, or the Lord, for this move. The house sold in two weeks (before the miscarriage) so it seemed to be what the Lord wanted way back then, but who knows?

I never knew how big an issue the weather was, until we'd moved. 

Anyway, today? The rest of us feel complete joy to see the peaceful puffs of white...at last! Take your joy where you can. Pray for the miserable, but don't let them rob you of joy. If you're married to a glass half-empty person, you know what I mean. The Lord often pairs the glass half-empty types with the glass half-full types. Balance is what He likes.

There's one thing I keep in mind when the weather gets him down: If it's not the weather, it's something else. No, this isn't a personality flaw I'm talking about. My husband is very personable, to my shy and quiet. He's also a wonderful, dedicated husband and father, with great faith. He's affectionate and loving.

It's simply a different way to look at the world. He didn't choose the lens through which he views, anymore than I did. When I want to roll my eyes, that always comes back to me. He didn't choose the downside. It's genes, like so many things we contend with in our daily lives.

When I hear negative people put down as a group, I grieve. It isn't a personality flaw; it's not something they can pray out of, or even count blessings out of. It's just their bent--like my bent is nervousness. I can't make a nervous disposition go away, as hard as I try.

Take your joy and don't feel guilty, no matter who you live with. There's no other way to live.

I made him his favorite cookie. He's very happy with these delectable morsels, but alas, they didn't take away his pining for the west as the snow piled up.

My oldest wanted to make me a blanket. So many ideas here in these four young minds. It's not usable, but I love it anyway.

Oh, how I love these munchkins!

A sleepy girl enjoying Daddy's words and warmth.

I checked out a boatload of snow-themed picture books. Time to go enjoy!


Unknown said...

Those cookies look scrumptious :). The perfect antidote to the cold. Praying for your poor hubbie with the California blood. But you all look pretty happy right where you are.

Christine said...

Thank you, Laura!

Lisa said...

The cookies delicious, Christine. I enjoy your blog so much. Thanks for sharing your life with your readers. :)

Christine said...

Thank you, Lisa! I appreciate you stopping by here.