It took my nursing toddler ninety minutes to fall asleep tonight! Consequently the boys didn't get their book time with Mommy. They barely got a kiss and tuck in, in fact, which makes me feel awful.
My now six-year-old boy, Paul, was just like this as a toddler. I consider him my easiest child to raise; let me say that up front. He took the lead with sleep issues for a long time, and it didn't spoil him. He is well liked by everyone and is just generally a great kid--very smart too. He works about two years above grade level and pretty much schools himself. He likes it that way.
I say all this not to brag, but to put to rest the notion that if you let your child lead in sleep issues, you'll end up with a spoiled child who has his parents wrapped around his tyrannical finger. Of the four children, Paul is the least spoiled.
Anyhow, Paul co-slept and night-nursed until two, which is when he began sleeping through the night. From six months old to two years old, he nursed every two hours at night. At two years old I put him in a twin bed with rail, sleeping in the same room as big brother. I would lie in his twin bed with him while he nursed to sleep. This worked fine, but at some point he began taking a very long time to fall asleep--60 to 90 minutes. He would get close to sleep, then make some movements to rouse himself. It was like my presence began to be a distraction, rather than a blessing. He wanted to stay awake to be with me, perhaps? This sudden sleep on-set problem wasn't related to a late nap, or to a lengthy nap, or to being overtired.
Once I was sure it was my presence, I had to began a program of bathing, reading, praying, singing, and nursing, then leaving the room with a final kiss and hug. Most of this routine was not new. We had been doing much of it for a while, except that he used to fall asleep nursing.
After we started this new procedure, he would come out to get me many times at first, sometimes crying. We got through it within a couple weeks. I just kept telling him I loved him and putting him back in bed with a kiss. This method is called the broken record routine, in which you calmly keep putting the child back in bed, with just a kiss, no matter how many times he comes out. He gave up nursing entirely at 2.5, due to my new pregnancy and significant morning sickness; there was no milk left. At that time we did everything else in the routine, leaving out the nursing. The sleep onset problem worked itself out.
Paul is an introspective person, like his Momma, and he occasionally still has trouble falling asleep, due to "thinking too much". He tells me he can't slow his thoughts down. 95% of the time however, he is asleep within fifteen minutes.
I have been an insomniac for many years off and on, although it rarely occurs when I'm nursing a baby, due to the relaxation hormones released during nursing.
Now back to my current baby, Beth. She was nearly sleeping through the night until recently, with the arrival of another teething bout. She also fell asleep easily until recently. Everything has changed; it's quite puzzling. It could just be the teeth, but I don't think that would cause such restlessness at bedtime. Her naps are reduced to about 45 minutes each, which is probably not enough daytime sleep. I will move her to one nap this week, to see if I can get her better rested. One nap of about 2 hours seems ideal for an 18-month-old baby, I would think, as long as bedtime falls early (around seven).
There was a period of about 8 days when she naturally moved to one nap of three hours, between 11:30 and 2:30. It vanished as suddenly as it appeared, about six weeks ago.
Anyhow, lately when I lie down to nurse her at bedtime, she is trying to rouse herself awake when she gets close to sleep, much like her brother did. Tossing, turning, laughing, talking, flirting. I think my presence is becoming a distraction for her as well.
She sleeps in a queen bed with a wall bordering one side of it, and a crib on the other side, to keep her from falling out. I nurse her to sleep, then go about my business in the evenings, going back in to nurse her back to sleep if she wakes. I also sleep in there all night to keep her from wandering the house and waking others. She climbs out of cribs readily, and has for a while, so the queen bed was the only solution; it is our only extra bed.
Her sister, Mary, sleeps in a twin bed in her brothers' room. There are three twin beds in there so it's crowded, but that arrangement will have to do until Mary is old enough to share a room with her little sister. At 3.5, we don't think Mary is mature enough. We're paranoid of an accidental smothering or something of that nature.
If I must let Beth begin to put herself to sleep, I will have to remove the box spring and frame and put the queen bed on the floor. I will have to get rid of the crib and take out a bookshelf and maybe a dresser, to make sure the room is completely baby-proofed. All of that will be a nightmare, since we don't have a garage or a basement. All three of the bedrooms are jam packed, as well as the closets.
Oh, bother. I hate sleep issues! They are so tedious. And with summer upon us, I am having issues with the boys too. They take longer to fall asleep in the summer. They love fireflies but the little buggers don't come out readily until 9:20 p.m., which makes for a late night for a 6 and 8 year old.
I let them catch fireflies last night, and they didn't fall asleep until 10:00 p.m, due to excitement and wanting to watch their two fireflies light up. Then this morning the eight year old got up at 6 a.m. instead of his usual 7:15 - 7:30 a.m. Being overtired worsened his ADHD today.
Really, to be honest? I can't wait for fall! I try to love summer for their sakes, but I just don't. Hassles abound, what with the sunscreen and the conflicting reports of which is best, and the wet towels, shoes, swimsuits, hats, and, of course, the ever-present mud and grass. Then there are the lemonade popsicles and juice boxes and the pleading to drink more water instead.
It can all add up to give Momma a big headache! Which I feel guilty about, since they absolutely love summer! I do enjoy seeing them so happy--don't get me wrong.
Anyhow, those are my issues. Thank you for listening. I hope things are smoother at your house.
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