Tuesday, June 8, 2010

flesh-and-blood comforters

Random musings, probably poorly written and poorly organized, and in no particular order:

I've scratched my head at some behavior issues recently, going over possible solutions in my rare quiet moments.  My conclusion?  I am the problem.  Beth's teething and sleeping issues have changed my parenting.  Survival mode crept in, and certainly not with my permission.  A stressed, depleted Momma unsettles her children.  And unsettled children make more mistakes, much like a depleted Momma does.

Grace.

 In times like these, we learn to pour it out generously.  And not because we are Holy.

Grace flows out of our own failures....out of our weaknesses.  

Think about it.  Highly successful go-getter types?  They think they're hot stuff.......think they have all the answers.....judge others harshly.

As much as I hate failing, I'll gladly take it over puffed-up pride.  Hurray for failure!  Hallelujah!

Yes, I'm a bit off the deep end.

Anyhow.

I started nursing my overtired, teething baby to sleep, at 6:45 p.m.  At 7:30 p.m. she finally drifted off.  Only to wake up again an hour later.  I nursed her back to sleep, which took fifteen minutes.   An hour later, up again.  I nursed her back to sleep.  Another hour, another wake up.  I nursed her again.

It's been like this for about two weeks, with a worsening in the last 48 hours.  It's definitely the teething.  The boys seemed to teethe effortlessly, but both my girls struggled.

Some of this time, I've been guilty of an unattractive, internal whine.  "What's the meaning of this!  I have enough stress to manage.  Can't one thing go right?"

But the more she woke up each day, the more I softened.  I yielded my agenda, my wants, far easier after the fourth wake up.   Whatever, said I.  The dishes might not get done tonight.  School prep is a loss.  School itself might not get entirely finished today.  (Naps have been horrible too).  That load of towels might stink from being in the washer too long.  I'll have to run them again.  Tomorrow morning probably won't be smooth.

Legacy-leaving parenting requires that we deny ourselves--our agendas--day in and day out.  That is so hard for us.  Often God has to force us to deny ourselves.  That is what colic and teething are about, as well as a host of other parenting issues. Baby is whiny and needy?  Use the extra time with her to pray over her.  For her future husband, for her in-laws, for her fertility, her purity, for her children, for her teenage years.

If something isn't going well in my parenting, I know now to ask myself.....have I been selfish?  Have I clung to my desires and to my agenda too tightly?
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And another random thing.

I've learned something in the last year that probably seems obvious to most people.

When someone asks you how you are, answer carefully.  If you're going through hell on a certain front, keep it to yourself, unless you know for a fact that the person standing across from you has experienced the same hell.  Human nature is often to give shallow advice, find fault, or wonder what is "wrong" with the suffering person.  When you truly need support and understanding, pray that God strategically places the right flesh-and-blood person in your midst.

And know that you will be that flesh-and-blood person for someone else, someday.  Be ready to let the grace, and the comfort, flow.

Dear Paula, thank you!  You've been that flesh-and-blood comforter.


2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (King James Version)


 Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort;
 Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.

2 comments:

Sandi said...

Thanks for sharing your heart here. Some good thoughts.

The Hallelujah over weakeness made me chuckle....so counterculture and in many cases counterchurch.

Blessings,

Paula said...

I am so late responding. I hope you see this!

I do so understand having to choose carefully who you speak to about your situation. People who have never been where you've been will simply not understand. Many will be judgmental which, in my opinion, is simply a prideful spirit on their part. Except they don't recognize it as pride and that can really get under my skin if I allow it to. I want them to know how smugly prideful they are being when they are trying to be so "helpful"! lol

I have said many times that one of my pet peeves is people who want to give me advice when they've never walked in my shoes. I obviously have issues I need to work through, too. ;o)

Love to you, my friend.

God is with you and you have a beautiful way of putting it all into words here on your blog.

Paula