editing for fun

Earlier today I read something quite depressing about the writing industry.  Ready for it?  Even if you publish a book, or two, you can still generally make more money flipping hamburgers.  Yes, there are exceptions, such as J.K. Rollings and Sarah Palin.  But most of us aren't exceptional.

It isn't that I had dreams of making a lot of money.  Selling articles--should any magazine ever publish something of mine--might only bring in a few hundred a month.  I knew that.

I just find it disconcerting that although the world cannot live without authors, child-care workers, or elderly-care workers, all three are among the lowest-paid professions.  What's wrong with that?  These hard-working people provide us with inspiration, love and knowledge.

The bottom line is this:  If you want to do something fulfilling--truly fulfilling--don't expect much of a paycheck.  Your fulfillment is your compensation.  That works fine so long as someone else in the household pays the bills.

Anyhow, lately I've been hanging out at Mary DeMuth's blogs--namely her writing-tutorial blog, linked below and featured on my side bar.  She recently began providing paragraphs for aspiring writers (or non-published writers) to edit.

The paragraph below appears in the fiction work, Twilight.  I hadn't heard of this book until recently, but apparently it sells quite well.  Poor-quality writing to be sure, but apparently the author knows how to weave a tale.  Good storytelling sells books.

I wanted to take a stab at the editing.


So You Want to Be Published: YOUR TURN: contemporary published work


It was unusually foggy; the air was almost smoky with it. The mist was ice cold where it clung to the exposed skin on my face and neck. I couldn't wait to get the heat going in my truck. It was such a thick fog that I was a few feet down the driveway before I realized there was a car in it: a silver car.

from Twilight, page 197

Christine's attempt at editing:
Weak verbs (shown in blue) weigh this wordy paragraph down.  As well, the piece tells, rather than shows.  I'm still reading and learning about both of these writing issues myself.  Here is my attempt at an edit (rewrite):

Thick, smoky fog hung in the air.  Ice-cold mist clung to my exposed face and neck.  Hands shivering, I unlocked my truck--impatient for its soothing heat.  Engine revving, I paused for some warmth, then started down the driveway, nearly hitting a car enveloped by the fog.  A silver car.


Now in reading Mrs. Piggle Wiggle's Farm (Betty MacDonald, 1954) to the boys last night, I noticed several groups of sentences with weak verbs--some containing as many to be verbs as shown above.  Now, I regard Betty MacDonald as a master storyteller and excellent writer.  Always engaging, her sentences flow beautifully and she "shows" scenes superbly.  You feel as though you are in the scene; she's that good.  So some passive sentences work; there just can't be so many that they overwhelm a piece.  Is that correct, Stephanie from Canada?  I think you do some editing, yes?  What's your opinion on weak verbs/passive sentences?

Okay, so that's it for tonight; a pretty boring post if you aren't into writing as a craft.  Mary DeMuth encourages aspiring writers to put in their 10,000 hours of practice.  You can't hope to be exceptional at something unless you invest countless hours perfecting it.

I think I know solid advice when I hear it.  That's plenty solid.

I will definitely live it.  And really, it won't be difficult.  I can't NOT write; life is processed, for me, through writing.