Saturday, May 22, 2010

your faithfulness, I know

Early April, 2010, we had reason to worry.  Unemployment was out, leaving us with meager income from low-paying, part-time custodial work.  Scared we were, in our flesh, even though God had always provided.  Who wouldn't be, with the likelihood of defaulting on a home so real?

I remember that week.  We performed our duties, lived out our roles, behaving as always.  Kids need three meals, snacks, baths, schooling, diapers, teeth brushing.... ..every day is full of tasks.  Children have a way of propelling life forward, regardless of circumstance.

Suddenly, a phone call.  Census work, applied for months and months earlier, would start in three weeks.

God's timing.

In January, 2001, we started trying to get pregnant, six weeks after suffering a difficult loss.  The first pregnancy happened in a couple tries.  Not this time.  Several months went by.  We waited.  I grieved.  I agonized.  I thought of nothing else.

Then, I surrendered all to God, telling him I would accept his will.

Next month, pregnant.

God's timing.

In December, 2008, my Mary turned two.  Without talking.  A milestone definitely missed.  I pondered.  I worried.  I researched.  I pondered.  I worried.  I researched.

Then at 27 months, she talked.  A little at first.  Then a whole lot.  Soon, sophisticated words and sentences poured out.

God's timing.

I wanted to get married in my twenties.  Despite two engagements, no one seemed right.  I broke things off.  I worried.  I agonized.  I thought of little else.

I worried.  I agonized.  I thought of little else.

Then, at thirty-one, I became a Christian.  I was in love.  With my Savior, my Bible.  My Christian radio.  I grew and grew.

But I still longed.

At that same time, my would-be husband became depressed and grievously lonely in Pennsylvania.  On a whim, with minimal planning, he moved to the smallish, high desert Californian town I lived in.

Two years later, we met on a church-sponsored group hike.  Event after event, we got to know one another from a distance.

Then, something changed.  Interest sparked.  But nothing spoken.

An ice skating event arose in a mountain town ninety minutes away.  At the last minute, everyone cancelled.  Except for us.

I nearly fell on the ice once.  He caught me.  And then never let go of my hand.

Eight months later, we married.

I was thirty-three.  He was nearly forty-one.  I waited a decade for a husband.  He waited two decades for a wife.

God's timing.


The Census job will end early next week.  The local paper and job websites offer no hope.

I could fret.  Agonize.  Research.  Cry.

Agonize.  Research.  Cry.

Or I could rest.  Knowing.  Praising.  Rejoicing.

Knowing.  Praising.  Rejoicing.

Faithfulness verses:

Numbers 23:19
God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind.  Does he speak and not act?  Does he promise and not fulfill?


Lamentations 3:22-24
Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.  I say to myself, " The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him."


Isaiah 25:1
O LORD, you are my God; I will exalt you and praise your name, for in perfect faithfulness you have done marvelous things, things planned long ago.

2 comments:

Sandi said...

Recounting His faithfulness is a beautiful thing. Loved reading this. Praying for work and continued peace.

Eli is not talking at 19 months and because Isaac didn't talk till after three I can tend to worry about it. Knowing your M just started talking one day is encouraging.

Christine said...

Yes, Eli has a lot of months yet before Momma need worry. If he can understand commands and you know he's gaining in receptive language, then all is well.

I sure appreciate your encouragement and prayers. Thank you!