Thursday, August 23, 2012

The Meanest Mom on the Block

Well friends, I acted assertively in two instances. I knew it had to be done but I feel sick to my stomach, even two hours later, and my kids? They're slowly coming to understand why their mild-mannered mommy had to be so "mean".

The 12-year-old babysitter left her house to play outside for an hour and a half today with her 9-year-old brother, leaving the 4-year-old and 5-year-old still inside their house. I thought maybe the mother had come to get them for an appointment, so I didn't say anything to the 12-year-old.

They did come out eventually, so I had to assume she left them either sleeping or watching a movie.

When they emerged the little ones immediately came over here and the 12- and 9-year-olds went to the drainage ditch to catch frogs. This ditch is across the street from my home (their house is also across the street and two houses down.)

I had to go across the street with the young ones in hand and tell their sister I had paperwork to do and couldn't have them on my property, because they might get hurt and then I could get sued. I used this language deliberately, not knowing whether she would understand or not, but with the hope she would repeat it to her mother later. I told her the kids wouldn't listen to me about staying with their sister, and would she please take control of them and keep them off the property?

The worst that can happen is they'll think I'm a fickle witch--nice one day and mean the next--and decide not to go to our church. The best thing that can happen is they'll be forced to act more responsibly.

A person who takes responsibility for others inappropriately, is called an enabler. And I won't go there. Enabling doesn't help's emotionally unhealthy for all involved.

But, I hated rejecting those little ones. I'm still sick to my stomach.

In other news, our neighborhood friend Lexi ran away last week. The grandfather came to our door looking for her. He had no idea where to look except at our house, so Peter gave him a few other ideas. She hadn't been here that day and we were worried sick about her until we saw her in her front yard a few hours later.

She said she was grounded when Peter drove by on his bike a day later.

Anyhow, since then I've asked that she bring a note with her from her family, indicating that she's allowed to play here. She isn't allowed out of her yard but when she leaves it defiantly, they won't go after her. They're completely non-assertive, choosing instead to continually take her bike away, rather than go and retrieve her. This young lady is strong willed and after telling her three times today to leave, I come in shaking from stress. She kept saying it was okay and her mother didn't have any paper to write a note, but after I came inside and she began walking home, she told Peter she didn't think her mom would give her permission.

So friends, this concludes the story about the balmy August day in which I became the meanest mom on the block.


Tesha said...

Sounds to me like you are by far the best mom on the block!

Christine said...

Thank you for the encouragement, Tesha and Lisa!

TerraD said...

Ditto that, Tesha! You are in a tough situation, Christine, but you are handling it very well.

Christine said...

Thank you, Terra! :)

Lisa said...

A job well done, dear friend. :)