writing process samples

Peter completes two writing-process pieces a week, both of which start with a planning web and a topic sentence.  The following needs some revisions and some more details, but my husband and I were so proud of it!

Peter, I thought this one was so endearing!  Your siblings will enjoy it!

I have 3 siblings.  Ferst I will tell you about Beth.  She is curious and active.  Next I will tell you about Paul.  He really likes math.  He is really exuberant.  Finally I will tell you about Mary.  She is very sweet and loving.  


I love all my siblings.


Here is another writing sample:

I went on a hike at AWANA.  I saw plants.  I saw pinecones and flowers.  I saw grass and rocks.  The rocks were red and gray.  The flowers had bulbs.  The rocks were in dirt and the pinecones were under a tree.  I really like nature hikes.


New writers tend to use bare-bones language.  We scream at them, details, details, details!  Be descriptive!  What kind of car?  What kind of tree?  What words describe your sister?  What else can you add?

Adult writers, in contrast, must learn to cut extraneous words and details--essentially unlearning some lessons from elementary school.  Solid, professional writing emerges only after years of practice.  Even with 28 months of frequent practice under my belt, I still struggle with passive voice and other bad habits.

I want my children to leave high school capable of beautiful, precise prose.  Daily practice is the key, along with the reading of good literature to build vocabulary and enhance sentence structure and style.