pride

I continued to ruminate on the idea of calmness today, in parenting and in everything else.  Then, taking a break this afternoon, I came across the Raising Godly Tomatoes website.  It helped me enormously, but before I get to that, let me provide some background.

As a full-time first grade teacher, I managed 210 children over the course of 9 years.  When my parenting years finally arrived, I felt more than ready.  After all, I knew how to manage children.

Sadly, this sin of pride continued for nearly eight years.

God handed me my sin on a platter this week.  Peter's uncontrollable behavior forced me to admit that I was way out of my league.  I was failing in my responses, and in my general parenting, and I needed help.  As I quickly read through some items on the Godly Tomatoes site, I was presented with the error of my ways.  God's timing = simply amazing.  He prepares our hearts, confronts us with our sin, and then gives us the tools we need to move forward.

Deep down, I think I've known for a couple years that my parenting was lacking.  However, I still clung to my pride, as if it were a shield of some sort.  When presented with wise, but difficult-to-implement parenting advice, through blogs, I quickly dismissed much of it as being too strict or too stiff.  I wanted to be more loving and lighthearted in my approaches, and not expect robots for children.

In actuality, I just didn't want to put forth that much effort.  My laziness and my pride prevailed.

I repent Lord.  Thank you for handing me that platter today!

Here are my parenting failings...my sins:

- not spending enough quality time with my children (I'm a person who needs alone time, but I was taking it at the wrong times)

- anger

- offering praise only when I was in a good mood

- complaining

- nagging

- yelling

- repeating myself

- pursuing a hobby (my writing) at inappropriate times

- going on unnecessary errands just to "get out of the house"

- not expecting first time obedience

- setting too low a standard for behavior

- letting the label of ADHD lower my standards for my son

- not smiling enough

- finding fault with my husband's parenting, and sometimes correcting it, rather than staying quiet and praying about it

- not finding enough fault with my own parenting

By listing them here, I'm acknowledging them before God.  I'm ready to repent, and do the hard work.

If you have time, I highly recommend the Raising Godly Tomatoes website.  Everything is presented like chapters from a book.  Just click on the topics you're interested in.  While you may not agree with everything she says, I think you'll find her wise and helpful.  She was, at one time, right where I'm at.  She freely admits the error of her prior ways.  She humbled herself, and let God do a mighty work in her.